MrOh
Canada
Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Mountain View, United States
Today, my fiancée said that our relationship is doomed because an astrologer said so. We only have a few more days until our wedding and she won't listen to a word I say. FML
Dumbfounded
Padre Island Ntl Seashor, United States
Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML
Anonymous
Boston, United Kingdom
Affection breakdown
Today, my wife can't be bothered to do anything that isn't work, talk about her work, and sit on the sofa. Then she complains that I don't show any affection, when she can be bothered to even talk to me. FML
Anonymous
Greensburg, United States
Stuck on amber
Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML
Anonymous
United States
Bad sign(s)
Today, my girlfriend started a month-long period of not talking to me. One of her male friends, who is a self-styled astrologist, told her there are "bad omens" in our relationship for the coming weeks. I don't know if I should dump her for being gullible or just plain stupid. FML
divorced
United States
Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML
Anonymous
Marriage doesn't solve anything
Today, my wife told me how she really felt about me, and said she didn't love me anymore. We got married last month. FML
dazedandconfused
Dorking, United Kingdom
Puzzled
Today, I found out why my wife has been upset with me for the last week. She told me this morning that I did something to upset her on our date night last Friday, she won't tell me what, and she said she'll leave me if I do it again. FML
Anonymous
Told you so
Today, my wife is leaving me for the guy she told me not to worry about, who is also her ex. FML
Top comments
bthomas0319 2
Make a fake horoscope and make it say that you have to be your husband's slave and do whatever he says
kaylynheartsyou 10
Then dont talk to her for one day.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (246)
hideyoself 4
You better thank that horoscope, sir.
purple91 8
YDI for marrying someone so stupid.
Wynthos 2
Marrying an idiot can really pay off sometimes...
gunslinger79 4
you lucky bastard!!
superdelis 1
So your wife won't speak to you for 24 hours? That's a gift lol :)
kenoswild 14
thats strange. my horoscope also told me not to post here but here i am, ignoring it.
0815 0
Get a divorce
picklemonger 13
how is this a bad thing???
Simply_Sullen 3
Horoscopes are serious business.
Levvy 22
Here's a fun game to play. Start giving her various astrology-based personality summaries and/or horoscopes, randomly selecting both ones correct to her "sign" and ones that aren't. If it actually works, then she should be able to tell the difference. And if she can't get at least a, say, 50% success rate, she owes you lunch. Or just agrees to knock that stupid crud off.