Today, two women came into my place of work, complaining loudly that they couldn't afford a £3 course fee because they didn't have any money to spend on themselves. They were holding large Starbucks coffees. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while serving two middle-aged women at the coffee shop, I was screamed at and accused of being a "sexist and chauvinistic bastard." This was prompted by me charging one of them 40 cents for the addition of steamed milk, which is clearly stated on the price sheet. FML
Today, after already having a terrible day, I went to Starbucks for an espresso. Being nice, I put the last dollar I had in my wallet in their tip jar. While paying for my drink, my card was denied for insufficient funds. The world hates me. FML
Today, at brunch, my friend asked if anyone wanted to split the bill. I pointed out that I’d only ordered coffee while everyone else got cocktails and meals. Suddenly I was “the cheap friend,” and somehow defending my $4 coffee turned into a group discussion about generosity, capitalism, and personal values. FML
Today, I was in Starbucks with my daughter when she noticed a travel cup she liked. She picked one up and asked for it, but I said no because it was expensive. She angrily slammed it back into its stand and in the process, knocked over a display of ceramic mugs. I had to pay for each broken mug. FML
Today, I was getting coffee with my aunt, and she asked me to pay. She then turned to the Barista and said, "He's never had a girlfriend before, and I wanted to show him that they take your money." The Barista laughed so hard she had to excuse herself. FML
Today, I'm a barista at Starbucks. When my crush walked in and asked how much his coffee would cost, I said a date. He said he'd rather pay for the coffee. FML
Today, I was late for work and got chewed out by my boss. To console myself I decided to drink a cup of coffee and a cup of tea. My work provides this for free. When I did, my boss told me that in fact it wasn't, nor has it ever been, free; all this time I've been stealing other people's coffee. FML
Today, I realised just how caffeine dependent I am. I didn't have time for my morning coffee, work is out of milk, and I only have $1.30 in my bank account, so I couldn't buy a coffee. Today has been a struggle. FML
Today, I had to repeat my order in Starbucks three times because the barista was staring at my chest. FML
Today, a guy came into the small coffee shop I work at, and got angry because I wouldn't accept his Starbucks gift card as valid payment. When I told him we clearly aren't a Starbucks, he said "It's all the same shit" and ended up throwing a punch at me. FML
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Top comments
cnewton84 28
Were they wearing uggs and boasting iphones and leggings too?
mermaidkeels 26
If they decide to spend their money elsewhere, that is there responsibility and they should suffer the consequences.
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Comments (59)
cnewton84 28
Were they wearing uggs and boasting iphones and leggings too?
LilMissCanadian 22
Yes, while wearing their bright colored beanies and Forever 21 graphic tees.
MozillaHostile 21
I'm okay with those other things, but Uggs piss me right off. They piss me off because those basic bitches that wear them feel so important and popular, just for wearing some ugly-ass brown boot. They're for people with no creativity or originality whatsoever.
JKPwnage 27
"I just love my uggs they're so brown and fuzzy and look exACTLY LIKE EVERYONE ELSE"
Apparentlyacunt 18
I love my uggs. Not because they make me feel import and popular. Because they ease some of my disability symptoms and help with my mobility whilst I can still look the same as everyone else.
squizzlebee 19
I like my Uggs because they're comfy and keep my feet warm. As someone who would prefer to go absolutely everywhere in pyjamas and a duvet, they're a nice compromise as it feels like I'm wearing slippers but they're seen as socially acceptable outdoor footwear. They're a stupid choice to wear in wet weather though. Got no time for girls who pick Uggs when it's snowing then complain that they've got wet feet.
Welshite 40
With the price of Starbucks coffee, I completely understand why they were broke.
stingray112 24
So you essentially wrote an fml about how you listened to people complaining?
Kobeh 13
You should've called them out on the spot, if you didn't of course.
IAmzephyr 22
That's a surefire way to get reprimanded
mermaidkeels 26
If they decide to spend their money elsewhere, that is there responsibility and they should suffer the consequences.
maharb01 17
probably had packs of cigarettes and designer clothes too?
GingerFace09 13
Cigarettes would be one thing, but you can't really judge by name brand clothes because you can pick that stuff up super cheap at resale stores. But yeah, holding those expensive coffees, if be annoyed by their complaining too
ColorOfSoul 19
"Don't have any money left to spend" here.
mineller 24
So, they just came in to your work place to tell you they couldn't afford to buy something there? That's a weird strategy.
jadalaheart 23
How much is the course fee? Is it possible they thought it was really expensive?
toaster87 19
If you actually read the FML, it clearly states a "£3 course fee".
Soloman212 28
3£. That's: 4.63 USD 4.08 Euro 555.46 Yen 6.37 Australian Dollars 76.76 Pesos 0.0171 Bitcoin
quinn1184 25
what about CAD?
Amateur_Dank 17
It's pretty close to USD
VeganVampyre 27
#37- it's really not. At the moment, $1 USD = $1.30 CAD. Trust me, that's a huge difference. And the £3 would equal $6.03 CAD.
dannnngthatsux 19
#42, VV, $6 is cheap for any class that's worth taking (not nose picking 101, etc.) especially if the class is small. I expect to pay between $20 USD and $60 USD for any class 2 to 4 hours that I take. I expect more of a discount per hour on longer courses (9 week class twice a week, 3 hours a night, I expect between $200 USD and $800 USD.) #9, even at £20, that's a steal for most classes.
Tripartita 45
They should save the inane ranting for Facebook statuses—assuming they can afford to create accounts.
Seabass_Chan 33
I'm assuming you don't have one? Making a Facebook account - or multiple - is free. They make money with adds, charging for optional game-related points/lives, etc.
vh_musiclover 16
It's sarcasm
Lalala579121 28
Why bother with Facebook? Tumblr is where everyone complains these days.
Tripartita 45
We really need a website dedicated to humorous complaints. Each complaint could have a character limit and need to be formatted a certain way like, "Yesterday, I [blah blah blah," or maybe, "Tomorrow, I [something something something]." That's not quite right, but it's close.
FabulousToaster 16
Maybe we could call it FME (F*ck My Existence)?
Tripartita 45
I like it, #46. Ooh, ooh, or DML for Damn My Life. Wait, we could combine the two and have DME (Damn My Existence).
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
Well yeah, that's why they're broke...
Soninuva 41
Gee, you don't say?