Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML
Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML
Today, I bought some flowers. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "Aww, these for your mom? How sweet." I responded they were for a girl I liked. She laughed and said, "Sorry…" FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said, "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML
Today, I bought flowers with my groceries at the grocery store. After the cashier scanned them, he handed them back to me so they wouldn't get crushed in my cart. It was then that I realized he's the first man to ever hand me flowers. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend flowers. All she managed to do was to say, "It’s been a year since you brought me flowers." FML
Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML
Today, my boyfriend brought me home flowers and candy for the first time in our one-year relationship. Thinking he was going to finally propose, I got excited. I asked why he was being so sweet, and he responded with, "I thought you'd take the breakup better this way." FML
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Today, I received a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend, which is something he's never done before. Unfortunately, this was his way of apologizing for cheating on me. FML
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Top comments
Callmesam 10
Make cookies with them and then tell him he can't have any since he bought it for you as a gift.
Geometric 18
Your boyfriend is hilarious, I would laugh hysterically too :D
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Comments (124)
TJhudson181 12
How sweet of him.
TipOfTheHat 10
Sweet would have been sugar
SokDek 14
How punny of him.
Inheritance 10
That's bitter of him.
insomnimaniak 19
I'd be happy he brought me anything in the first place. I mean, flour is very special, when you think about it. Yup, just keep on thinking...
tristanisgay 7
At least he has a good sense of humor, OP! :)
patriotsfan12 4
YDI for falling for it
SokDek 14
61- More like a dry sense of humor.
tristanisgay 7
104- I don't find that dry at all. Most people nowadays would have to sit down and think for hours about something just a little creative. Our world posses dull minds.
Geometric 18
Your boyfriend is hilarious, I would laugh hysterically too :D
Cairo_Sanchez 8
Yeah I'm sure he's been saving that one for months
Carmstro 13
I'd have liked that joke more than the flowers. Kind of sucks that OP didn't find it funny :( OP, if you don't feel appreciated in the relationship, get out of it, the only thing you seem to be getting out of it is making it to FML.
verkaderk 9
I concur, her boyfriend is a genius
happyllama12 5
2- I agree, it's really a funny joke! I don't understand how it's an FML, OP should just laugh about it and ask for real flowers. If OP doesn't appreciate a sense of humor, the she should just break up with him.
iLoveUnionJ 8
I'd laugh histerically then puch him in the face. Then throw the flour on him.
nubsnipes 8
He should've had the flowers behind his back or in a bag and handed them to her after he stopped laughing.I think that would've worked.
Callmesam 10
Make cookies with them and then tell him he can't have any since he bought it for you as a gift.
you_failed 15
You have to admit, that was pretty funny! At least he has a sense of humor!
kristabelli 19
It's not funny, what is wrong with you people??!? She wanted something meaningful, she thought he was doing something sweet... and instead he mocked her and laughed at her for thinking he would do that for her.
cliffibom 15
#73 clearly you can't laugh at jokes, dont be so serious
UberNova 18
73- ******* hell... You need to loosen up, oh no! He didn't do something sweet; instead, he played a small joke. DUUUMMMPPPP HIMM!! If you are in a secure relationship, you should be able to laugh at this sort of thing. If I did this, my girlfriend would laugh.
you_failed 15
#73 you know what is meaningful? The fact that he went to buy groceries for her. Not a lot of guys go out their way to go grocery shopping for their girlfriend/wife, especially by themselves.
kristabelli 19
Wow. You people really set the bar high. He went to buy groceries "for her" ?? How sweet. He must not eat, then, if he's doing it just for her. MEN can go grocery shopping too, you know!
kristabelli 19
P.S. 76 I didn't say she should dump him. I just said it wasn't funny. (Maybe if you're like, 12... but not in a mature, adult relationship.)
IOmnomHard 10
I'm inclined to agree with 96. This sounded more like him being rude than funny. Hence, 'laughed in my face', and even if it was supposed to be a joke, it was a dumb/childish one. OP makes it sound like her boyfriend is rarely sweet, so why shouldn't she feel let down? That does NOT mean she has no sense of humor. I for one could care less about flowers, and would probably have more use for a sack of flour honestly, but even so I don't think people should be acting like OP is lucky to have him. You can be funny without being immature...Oh and OP is LUCKY her boyfriend gets groceries? Talk about gender stereotyping. He's a grown man, he can buy groceries without deserving a medal. The bar is really set low for most people, it would seem.
WhisperSoflty 20
I've gotta say, I agree with the people who don't see the humor in this. If we look at the wording in the FML, we can infer that the OP's bf isn't a very affectionate person, therefore his offer to buy the OP flowers would be an unexpectedly kind thing, which is why she was so excited about it. For him to then hand her a bag of flour and "laugh(ed) hysterically in [her] face" about it sounds tacky to me. Yes, jokes can be made when in a relationship, but this doesn't sound like him making a joke. To me, it sounds like him rubbing in her face how easily he can mess with her, and that he finds her disappointment amusing; two things that should be a red flag in a relationship.
docscientist 10
Context is important and it seems he's neglecting an aspect important to her. But, I'm bothered that the pun doesn't match up. He should've bought more than one brand or type.
alfred07 18
If only a sense
BntyHntrSeattle 30
He'll rue the day...
BntyHntrSeattle 30
*roux lol
Shrike 24
I think you mean "rue".
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Roux is flour based, rue is regret :)
Lady_Face 12
Rue is also a flower though, so either is still a pun!
Shrike 24
Yeah, sorry guys, my non-existent sister stole my equally non-existent iPod and posted that comment. Sorry. Alternatively I'm just a dumbass, and I apologize for my stupid comment.
1215116a 14
I'm sorry if this sounds extremely stupid, but this reminds me of that episode of iCarly.
RoboCunnilingus 23
Not stupid, me too. You'll rue this day, Carly Shay. You will rue it!
sarah6786 14
Nevel: You'll rue this day Carly, RUE it!!
wagne057 6
Next time he tries to have sex give him a bottle of lotion.
cgchamp89 7
Yeah, I deny sex too when my significant other plays a prank on me... Get a sense of humor. Sick of the "deprive him of sex" comments, as if women don't enjoy sex just as much as men.
happle 21
I wouldn't blame her if she got upset about that. Besides, who says giving him lotion instead of sex isn't a prank?
cgchamp89 7
Okay, good point... I took it as 6 implying OP should deny him sex over the matter
delevish 3
A prank is supposed to be funny. How could giving him a bottle of lotion when he wants sex be viewed as humor?
atron11 2
What a real charmer.
thebaddayblues 3
Maybe he's saving for Christmas?
FMLJFL 5
Sounds like quite the funny boyfriend, although I imagine you were quite disappointed.
yup93 7
flour+laxatives=a good cookie...and even better revenge.
lilpsyco 16
Mmmmm chocolate laxatives, the tastiest laxatives of all （＾∇＾）
gloria89108 1
Too funny