MrOh
Canada
Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Mountain View, United States
Today, my fiancée said that our relationship is doomed because an astrologer said so. We only have a few more days until our wedding and she won't listen to a word I say. FML
Dumbfounded
Padre Island Ntl Seashor, United States
Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML
Anonymous
Boston, United Kingdom
Affection breakdown
Today, my wife can't be bothered to do anything that isn't work, talk about her work, and sit on the sofa. Then she complains that I don't show any affection, when she can be bothered to even talk to me. FML
Anonymous
Greensburg, United States
Stuck on amber
Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML
Anonymous
United States
Bad sign(s)
Today, my girlfriend started a month-long period of not talking to me. One of her male friends, who is a self-styled astrologist, told her there are "bad omens" in our relationship for the coming weeks. I don't know if I should dump her for being gullible or just plain stupid. FML
divorced
United States
Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML
Anonymous
Marriage doesn't solve anything
Today, my wife told me how she really felt about me, and said she didn't love me anymore. We got married last month. FML
dazedandconfused
Dorking, United Kingdom
Puzzled
Today, I found out why my wife has been upset with me for the last week. She told me this morning that I did something to upset her on our date night last Friday, she won't tell me what, and she said she'll leave me if I do it again. FML
Anonymous
Told you so
Today, my wife is leaving me for the guy she told me not to worry about, who is also her ex. FML
Top comments
bthomas0319 2
Make a fake horoscope and make it say that you have to be your husband's slave and do whatever he says
kaylynheartsyou 10
Then dont talk to her for one day.
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Comments (246)
snowbird123 3
maybe u should tell her scientists figured out that every1's horoscope is off by 1
akallaan 7
You do realize you could easily make her do whatever you want? Make a horoscope website that only she gets on and type what you want her to do. ;)
kai_ngo 0
You're making it sound like it's easy make and run a website.
SadinSherman 16
Don't you have to pay to make a website
bananaburger 0
Invite ur friends over to do something like watch football ur wife can't say anything !
daydreamer244 13
those damn horoscopes
Kodlak 3
And you're complaining? Enjoy the peace and quiet while it lasts.
AlliBell 0
I went through a stage of listening to horoscopes religiously that didn't work so well
Kodlak 3
And you're complaining? Enjoy the peace and quiet while it lasts
Brool_Story_Co 17
57- Yes I screwed up one word, you have still managed to ignore the rest of my comment though.
wazowski77 0
al chippannis
renaee 13
At least it didn't say, "Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. This means she couldn't warn me that a bus was barreling straight for me. FML."
renaee 13
barrelling*
flashback.miss 28
Oo