MrOh
Canada
Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Mountain View, United States
Today, my fiancée said that our relationship is doomed because an astrologer said so. We only have a few more days until our wedding and she won't listen to a word I say. FML
Dumbfounded
Padre Island Ntl Seashor, United States
Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML
Anonymous
Boston, United Kingdom
Affection breakdown
Today, my wife can't be bothered to do anything that isn't work, talk about her work, and sit on the sofa. Then she complains that I don't show any affection, when she can be bothered to even talk to me. FML
Anonymous
Greensburg, United States
Stuck on amber
Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML
Anonymous
United States
Bad sign(s)
Today, my girlfriend started a month-long period of not talking to me. One of her male friends, who is a self-styled astrologist, told her there are "bad omens" in our relationship for the coming weeks. I don't know if I should dump her for being gullible or just plain stupid. FML
divorced
United States
Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML
Anonymous
Marriage doesn't solve anything
Today, my wife told me how she really felt about me, and said she didn't love me anymore. We got married last month. FML
dazedandconfused
Dorking, United Kingdom
Puzzled
Today, I found out why my wife has been upset with me for the last week. She told me this morning that I did something to upset her on our date night last Friday, she won't tell me what, and she said she'll leave me if I do it again. FML
Anonymous
Told you so
Today, my wife is leaving me for the guy she told me not to worry about, who is also her ex. FML
Top comments
bthomas0319 2
Make a fake horoscope and make it say that you have to be your husband's slave and do whatever he says
kaylynheartsyou 10
Then dont talk to her for one day.
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Comments (246)
nixter5 18
she might be taking astrology a BIT too seriously.
a_lenzmeier 11
No offense, but your complaining? I would love it. There's this joke that says a ******** is the best 15 minutes of a guys life. The best part,,,, the 15 minutes of silence. Take the time to relax and do whatever you want, without getting bitched at for it.
Weirdo007 0
this is when u go fk her the way u've always wanted to!! cuz she wont say no
Firall 2
I don't think this falls under a YDI or a FYL, because quite honestly, it's one day. Take a break, go do something, enjoy the time to yourself. Who cares the reason, you had a full day she couldn't even ask you to come home.
BlAcKgUyLoVeR3 7
no offense to the other ladies but.... we usually don't stop talking so enjoy the day of serenity :)
tj4234 36
well at least you have a day to relax :D
iMagzzzy 0
finally some peace!
rattusrattus 19
Damn specific horoscope. Normally they say "you will have good luck in your future" or "you will find money" or "your teddy bear will dress as Elvis and try to kill you".
raphanne_fml 33
Ô_ô .... My teddy bear IS dressed as Elvis right now....
rattusrattus 19
They were only examples and I don't mean to make you paranoid... but you never know.
AriadneBelle 3
Oh, don't worry #138. That last one was only for Geminis. Unless... you aren't a Gemini, are you?
raphanne_fml 33
No, I'm a taurus! So I guess I'll be fine and find the love of my life/cure cancer and become rich by next week then. But just to be sure, I'm going to apply Joey's technique and put my teddy bear in the freezer for awhile... I could be logic and just change his clothes, but well I believe in astrology so...
alisidewinder 9
But isn't that a good thing? That's she stopped nagging for one day? Tell her ull be at the bar, she can't say no
HomeAl0ne 20
"Hey honey, can you see any reason why I shouldn't sleep with your sister? Speak now or forever hold your peace..."