Today, my wife came back from her camping trip with her friends. I decided to help her out by unpacking her stuff while she used the bathroom. It's funny; I never knew that a dildo, a ball gag and an open pack of condoms were considered camping gear. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who I've been dating for over a year, was going to Florida for a short trip with a few friends without me since I couldn't get work off. She asked me to put her iPod in her bag for her as she was almost ready to walk out the door. That's when I saw she'd packed 10 condoms with her. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML
Today, I found three of my sister's dildos as I helped her unpack boxes for her new house. Jokingly, I said, "Why would you even need three?!" She actually explained. FML
Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML
Today, I found several thongs in the dryer that my wife has never worn before, purchased just days before she is going on vacation with her girlfriends. Serves me right for folding the laundry. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
The true survival kit. The ***** can be used as a grappling hook, the ball gag as a simple weapon, and the condoms to carry water.
Trinidad727 9
Sorry you had to find out that way...
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Comments (169)
albertozeta_fml 9
Ehm I would try to talk to her in order to understand if she has some sexual needs I have not been satisfying and if it was so I would try to understand if I would be able to satisfy them or not.
britbrat237 14
Looks like she did more than camping
not_your_taco 15
Hopefully it's now Ex-wife?
Dexter83_fml 17
Sorry dude
limabeans101029 21
OP's a woman, just so you know :)
MrItalia 18
better kick that **** out to the curb,
RabbitOfAurora 28
To be honest I'm disappointed at everyone who immediately jumped to OPs wife being a cheater. I would really need more details before I could make that call. I feel like a just as reasonable explanation is that OPs wife has a high sex drive and a bit of a kinky side. Maybe she just wanted to get her rocks off outdoors and completely exposed. You can use a ball gag alone and to me the condoms were obviously for the toy, it's more sanitary that way and easier to keep it clean.
pischrena 1
I wonder if it was in tents for her
rozdawg 13
Time to leave.
Delina_Rose 13
looks like she was planning a fun night with you. perhaps she was going to surprise you.
ChakatBlackstar 29
Except she mentioned that her wife had an OPEN pack of condoms...something that's been recently used and for which these two would have no use for.
ygritte_snow 2
they could still have a use for the condoms if they use the ****** together. Lesbians practice safe sex too!
ChakatBlackstar 29
Well, they're standard on any trip I take, including camping, just like rope, jump-start cables, duck tape, and handcuffs just in case something goes wrong or really really good ;) Also, just realized that list of items must sound really bad out of context.