Today, my girlfriend, who I've been dating for over a year, was going to Florida for a short trip with a few friends without me since I couldn't get work off. She asked me to put her iPod in her bag for her as she was almost ready to walk out the door. That's when I saw she'd packed 10 condoms with her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, the guy that I have been seeing for over a year left on a business trip. While straightening out his room as a favor, I noticed he took his condoms with him. FML
Today, a girl I like was taking her phone out of her pocket and two condoms fell out. Last week I'd tried hooking up with her and she'd said that she only has sex with a man who is her boyfriend. So I said, “Oh, new boyfriend, huh?” She said, “Nah it’s for hookups, gotta be prepared!” I guess she forgot she lied to me. FML
Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me, demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML
Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML
Today, I was helping my friend pack her carry on for her vacation. I drove her to the airport, and after her plane took off, I noticed I put my cell phone in her purse. Her vacation is 2 months long. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, with whom I've been with for four years. I've been in Australia for the last two months and before I left, he bought a box of 12 condoms, saying we would use them when I got back. We went to the bedroom and I opened the box. There was one left. FML
Today, my husband is going to a business trip where his female coworker, the one he says to "not worry about", yet acts totally lovestruck about, will be too. I saw him pack a box of condoms. He said, “Oops! They’re actually for us, I didn’t mean to pack them.” Honey, we haven’t used condoms in years. FML
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Top comments
FrostyNorth 0
So? Maybe she packed them for a friend... OK, no, you're f***ed. I hope you at least got a chance to poke some holes in them.
chiaro 0
yeah that's really ****** up. in response to #1, you might not want to poke holes in them unless you leave her before she becomes pregnant
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Comments (132)
FrostyNorth 0
So? Maybe she packed them for a friend... OK, no, you're f***ed. I hope you at least got a chance to poke some holes in them.
DisappearingRose 18
Haha, that's a great way for revenge. I would do that to my cheating girlfriend if I was a guy.
Rammer3500 23
Actually, the girlfriends f*cked
gatorgirl7563 22
Poking holes in them isn't right, OP, being a parent is a serious commitment!!!! but cheating isn't right, either. So what you do is poke holes in them and use an eyedropper or needle-less syringe or turkey baster syringe to put a few drops of hot sauce in each one. That way, you painfully punish her, interrupt the sex AND don't risk making an unwanted baby.
gatorgirl7563 22
children deserve better than that. So... poke holes and leak hot sauce into them. They'll be in too much pain to finish, so much less risk of a pregnancy, and the painful rash will last for the rest of her vacation. Then dump her tender, red, burning ass when she gets home.
chiaro 0
yeah that's really ****** up. in response to #1, you might not want to poke holes in them unless you leave her before she becomes pregnant
max_wilder 9
wouldn't be his baby
Leewannabe 10
No shit sherlock!
Renadi 0
Well I'd think this is a good thing, now you know to dump her ass.
shayansh 0
Ouch, that sucks... #1, if he poked some holes in them, it would cause many many many more problems for him for at least 9 months.
WTF_BRAIN 11
Nah, a simple dna test would suffice. Still I wouldn't poke holes, just take them out of the bag, then dump her when she comes back.
KPACOTKA 0
#4, how would poking holes effect him?
spade1997 0
get her pregnent
max_wilder 9
he wouldn't be doing the impregnating if he was not in Florida withe the 10 condoms
TEXASDude45 5
It's a revenge thing. He would poke holes in them and leave her.
texmas 0
She might have been messing with you. There's no way she really expected to use all ten in a few days. Unless she also brought "toys." It's advised to use condoms with those, you know.
Rawr0_oRawr0_o 0
#6 do you use sex toys cause how else would you know
BoCo_fml 9
I'm sure she does...doesn't every girl??
columbiancoffeei 6
lol dont kid yourself it is quite possible to use 10 if you have enough sex drive 10 might not be enough lol
jaytee1994 9
Your stupid!! She's clearly going to be having SEX at lest 10 times. And I'm sure that they will be there for at lest a week!
i_luv_dogs 10
*you're *least *least
shayansh 0
#5, she is gonna tell you that the kid is yours. And if she decides to keep it, you have to wait for 9 months before you can do a test and be offically sure. And until 9 months you will always have that little feeling, it might be yours.
joshuagnew 2
but if you poke a hole in it when she uses it with sum1 else wen shes in florida it not his , is ?
candleandflame 19
You don't have to wait an entire nine months. You can get a paternity test :) although she may refuse to get one
gatorgirl7563 22
would you really want to have a child with a dishonest woman who couldn't be faithful and who you couldn't trust? NO. The holes are so that one of her one night stands get her pregnant and then she is stuck as a single mother with her baby daddy -- if she can even remember enough about him to identify him for paternity court -- many states away. Which is horrible to do to anyone, even a cheater. children deserve better than that. So... poke holes and leak hot sauce into them. They'll be in too much pain to finish, so much less risk of a pregnancy, and the painful rash will last for the rest of her vacation. Then dump her tender, red, burning ass when she gets home.
tomorrowbroadway 0
I think she wanted you to know. I'd like to think that nobody could be stupid enough to forget that they packed condoms to cheat on their s.o. Of course, I've been told that I overestimate the intelligence of the human race, so take that for what it's worth... :
KPACOTKA 0
#7, hehehe.... not unless he decides to have sex w/ her after that. but I just don't see it happening.
FuzzMonkey09 0
Hire a private investigator.