Today, my wife came back from her camping trip with her friends. I decided to help her out by unpacking her stuff while she used the bathroom. It's funny; I never knew that a dildo, a ball gag and an open pack of condoms were considered camping gear. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who I've been dating for over a year, was going to Florida for a short trip with a few friends without me since I couldn't get work off. She asked me to put her iPod in her bag for her as she was almost ready to walk out the door. That's when I saw she'd packed 10 condoms with her. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML
Today, I found three of my sister's dildos as I helped her unpack boxes for her new house. Jokingly, I said, "Why would you even need three?!" She actually explained. FML
Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML
Today, I found several thongs in the dryer that my wife has never worn before, purchased just days before she is going on vacation with her girlfriends. Serves me right for folding the laundry. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
The true survival kit. The ***** can be used as a grappling hook, the ball gag as a simple weapon, and the condoms to carry water.
Trinidad727 9
Sorry you had to find out that way...
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Comments (169)
Welshite 40
The true survival kit. The ***** can be used as a grappling hook, the ball gag as a simple weapon, and the condoms to carry water.
bdsmslave 18
I'm even willing to bet that the condoms were merely used as waterproof socks. It probably rained a lot.
CoGhostRider 31
Sootch has a video on YouTube of ways to use a condom to survive.
strike2867 13
And we have the OP's wife.
thefmlman2011 37
condoms are great for stopping blisters when you wear boots.
Thoricsteam20 24
Bear Grylls would be proud...
ConstantlyAnna 8
Ahaha! That is thinking outside the box. This reply absolutely deserves a 'thumbs up!'. :)
OysterPearls 33
Transparent condoms when filled with water can actually be used as a lens to make a fire, too.
TheAspieDork 27
Condoms can also make decent fire starters apparently
Trinidad727 9
Sorry you had to find out that way...
mds9986 24
In a way it's good she knows that her wife is a scumbag now and she can divorce and move on that much quicker.
vampire623 6
granted yea she prob was cheating but you never know for sure many the condoms where for the ***** it they shared it
goofballjones 6
Op is a lesbian?
leogachi 15
The username is pink (on the mobile site) which means Op is a girl. So yes.
NickACD 27
Well, at least you won't be with a cheating, lying, asshole for the rest of your life, and blind to it.
chach485 9
Yea OP, and think about it this way, you guys could have some crazy divorce sex
FluffyNutella 14
Yeah OP, you don't need to worry about wives that aren't lesbian and fake it. (pretty sure that OP put the wrong gender)
limabeans101029 21
127- What makes you think OP put the wrong gender?
bab3ruthl3ss 16
Pretty sure based on...?
JohnTheDonJuan 11
Because what would a lesbian need condoms for?
limabeans101029 21
146- Some people put condoms on their ****** for sanitation reasons; and bisexuals also exist. Just because someone is in a relationship with a woman, that doesn't mean they're exclusively into women.
Cads1 24
The give away is she said camping with friends. I would assume female friends. I have never met a group of girls that go camping. However they my exist some where.
bdsmslave 18
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere. Stereotype, I know. But as a fellow lesbian, I cannot deny that there is some truth to that one. Every rule has its exceptions, I know.
CoGhostRider 31
@15 OPs profile says she's a female.
mkcherry 14
I've been camping with friends just about every year since we were in college together I dont think women camping is unusual, especially if you live in the country or your friends are sporty.
Cads1 24
@20. The wording of the FML says "my wife". I made an assumption.
Hunthas 17
You know what they say about making assumptions... you make and ass out of you and umptions.
juststephhere 23
Females can go camping too.. I go all the time with my friends! You make it seems like it never happens, but I know tons of girls that camp as well.
helloheyhiya 2
There's this international organization called a venturing crew. It's part of Boy Scouts but co-Ed. A lot are all girl crews. I've gone on 95 mile backpacking trips and camp at least once a month, including 30 degree below freezing weather. So yeah, girls camp!
Squeepy 19
I just went camping with a group of all girls last weekend. It's not as uncommon as you'd think. Sometimes we enjoy getting away from it all :)
MRSwick2525 23
I know plenty of women who go camping. And get this, they don't even a man to help the set up camp and start a fire. Shocking isn't it?!?!
Cads1 24
Is that what the ***** is for? To rub it together with a stick and start a fire?
chipmunkofddoom 13
To the above saying girls go camping all the time, blah blah blah. Yes. We women do go camping. women camp all the time... But, at least in my experience, lesbian or not, it is very rare that a group of women go camping without men, straight or gay, around. I think that is what the original commenter is trying to say. You just don't really see all female camp groups.
bwinski 19
I like how everyone is having a nice conversation in this thread and then there is comment #80 that has to be irrational and rude.
leogachi 15
@112 I lol'd at your comment. Sarcasm is definitely best when mixed with the truth. :)
bab3ruthl3ss 16
Aaaand now you know how lesbians work, #20!
ygritte_snow 2
You obviously don't know a lot of women.
erindgentry 28
Who doesn't bring that stuff? Sorry OP that sucks.
logicnazi 18
It's possible for the OPs wife to be bisexual. Also, technically the authorized "safe practice" would be to still use condoms on sex toys, particularly shared ones. Not that anyone does. But you're supposed to.
daddysgirl243 21
that's my essential camping gear
jaymecarterr 21
Sorry OP :( I hope it works out for you for the best, you probably don't deserve that!
cypherwars 15
probably? nobody deserves to be cheated on!
leogachi 15
I'm not trying to say that Op would do something like this, but my sister's ex tried to prostitute her for drug money. So yeah, some people deserve to be cheated on. Right before you break up with them.
cypherwars 15
@124 Oh my God that sounds horrible! I hope u guys took appropriate action against him. kicked his ass for starters.
jaymecarterr 21
Not saying OP is, but some people really are assholes, which is why I threw in the probably :)
jenny_sykes 14
that must be one kinky camp
nothing92x 13
Kamp Kink: where all the Kool Kids Kum.
emeraldisle 30
I bet that's the last time you offer to unpack for her.
CoGhostRider 31
OP probably will be packing for her.
slackerjoe 22
have a feeling that op had a feeling something wasn't right and was probably snooping. She just probably didn't want to be judged for saying so.
bab3ruthl3ss 16
Because that's far less farfetched than them just trying to be helpful.
sweetbliss3 37
yikes. time to have a chat and move on with your life.
copydude 7
If your wife was getting it on with her friends, the condom may have only been to wrap the *****, if they were sharing.
MrConcise 35
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yeah, she could just be a lesbian. ...Still, that doesn't make it any better, does it? Either way it's cheating, either way OP has some serious issues in his future.
RayneSmytson 24
Well she is a lesbian - given that OP is a female and said "my wife"
lilly_petten21 8
this is probably a stupid question but how do you know that OP is a female
MrConcise 35
Whoops, missed that.
gracehi 33
There's a gender icon in the corner
GhostDuck 30
76 yes it does.
MRSwick2525 23
On my cell the women profile pics are outlined in pink, and the men are outlined in blue.
southerngalslove 15
OhMyGod. I didn't notice that until you said it. Thank you.
bab3ruthl3ss 16
Which would still be cheating on your husband, to be getting it on with your friends.