Today, my wife came back from her camping trip with her friends. I decided to help her out by unpacking her stuff while she used the bathroom. It's funny; I never knew that a dildo, a ball gag and an open pack of condoms were considered camping gear. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who I've been dating for over a year, was going to Florida for a short trip with a few friends without me since I couldn't get work off. She asked me to put her iPod in her bag for her as she was almost ready to walk out the door. That's when I saw she'd packed 10 condoms with her. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML
Today, I found three of my sister's dildos as I helped her unpack boxes for her new house. Jokingly, I said, "Why would you even need three?!" She actually explained. FML
Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML
Today, I found several thongs in the dryer that my wife has never worn before, purchased just days before she is going on vacation with her girlfriends. Serves me right for folding the laundry. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
The true survival kit. The ***** can be used as a grappling hook, the ball gag as a simple weapon, and the condoms to carry water.
Trinidad727 9
Sorry you had to find out that way...
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Comments (169)
RampagingBoner 12
Oh you didn't know? That's the new thing they are doing.
angryo5trich 13
Can't leave home without the essentials
messymessiah 11
Why didn't she object to letting you unpack her stuff? Surely she knew that was in there
VeganDarkLight 31
The FML makes it sound like OP didn't ask for her permission. Also, her wife couldn't keep her from unpacking her stuff as she was using the bathroom.
figure_of_bleach 0
Who the **** did she go camping with? Christian Grey?
hashtaghipster69 16
I'm a big fan of how this is almost an exact copy of a previous FML
dudechef 8
Really - I remember seeing this one before too
drealex360 5
Well if the ***** glows in the dark, then she probably used it as a "glow stick".. The ball gag was used to wrap up "leftovers" and condoms were used as cups..lol
bab3ruthl3ss 16
Not sure you know what a ball gag is.
silverstream20 20
Looks like someone she was using the camping trip to get in touch with their natural sexual drives. Just, at your expense OP.
radiocaf 29
Hopefully the condoms were just to protect the ***** as washing it properly would have been impossible when in the wilderness, and hopefully the ball gag is because she has some weird fetish she allows herself to succumb to when playing with herself, or some silly game she played with her buddies, but if not then I'm sorry this happened to you, OP and I hope you get closure.
babygirlprincess 17
kinky
Amant97 14
Sorry, OP. I think you deserve a divorce and your own "camping trip".