Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML
Today, a girl I like was taking her phone out of her pocket and two condoms fell out. Last week I'd tried hooking up with her and she'd said that she only has sex with a man who is her boyfriend. So I said, “Oh, new boyfriend, huh?” She said, “Nah it’s for hookups, gotta be prepared!” I guess she forgot she lied to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, I went camping in the mountains with my girlfriend and her very outdoor loving mountain. I sprained my ankle falling out of the car and got a bug bite on my penis while peeing. Her dad actually asked why she was dating me and she admitted that she had no idea. FML
Today, my fiancée decided to go on a 3-hour trip because she needed a break from the baby and me. I forgot to mention who she went with: her ex. FML
Today, I went through the stuff that I'd left at my ex’s place and started unpacking it. I found a pair of another girl's panties. We broke up a little over a week ago. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML
Today, I went camping with friends, two guys and one girl. Night came and things got freaky. Two of them began to make out. I wanted to make a move on my guy friend but he said, “Nah, let’s not ruin the friendship.” Then he proceeded to have a threesome with them. Oh, and the other guy didn’t want me either. FML
Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and another couple. We saw a black bear. I shrieked and peed, while the other guy stepped forward and yelled, "Get outta here!" To my surprise, it ran away. My girlfriend is so ashamed of me that she's refusing to share a tent. I'm sleeping in my truck bed. FML
Today, I found out that the girl my boyfriend says is "just a good old friend" is actually an "ex that got away." FML
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Top comments
BeeHMC 9
I hope by girlfriend you mean "ex"
mz135 12
Sorry OP that sucks. There is someone better than her for you
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Comments (184)
mz135 12
Sorry OP that sucks. There is someone better than her for you
mannatee 19
Clichés. Clichés everywhere.
Pesticides 19
It may be a clichè but it's true. People who cheat are scum on the earth that are worth much less than any faithful person.
sweetbliss3 37
I agree. Rarely do I jump and say dump the bitch. but seriously, dump the bitch.
wellthen7154 12
Absolutely dump her. She not only is a lying bitch, but a cheater. It might be cliché, but cheaters are some of the lowest people, honestly, OP can definitely get someone better.
Shadowvoid 33
Who, why is everyone assuming she is a cheater on this thread? Condoms can hold up to a liter of drinking water. Maybe his girlfriend is a survival expert? Seems likely
1tsmenoah 20
#94 Ya because her and her ex said bring condoms to hold water
Journiexo 18
Yes because everyone brings condoms just for survival...^
MisterEx 28
It's not "it's a cliche BUT it's true", it's a cliche BECAUSE it's true.
kiki9_fml 10
#94 by 'survival expert' you meant 'huge lying slutface' right?
AninOnin 24
Don't worry 94. I have a sense of humor, at least.
slyde32 12
#94 you know what else can hold a liter of water? a one liter bottle, they're not that hard to carry around while camping
Wakachulak 22
I see someone is a fan of Jake Porway :-)
Shadowvoid 33
You guys are no fun, you haven't lived until you have sipped water through a giant latex, penis-shaped balloon.
incoherentrmblr 22
Dump the b*tch and get tested...
Jessj958 19
Well I voted YDI and FYL because he shouldn't have been ok with her going camping with her ex. I know I wouldn't be ok with that!
Mama4ddk 15
LMMFAO seriously!
sibeso 17
This reminds me of the episode of Friends where they get stuck in Monica's bedroom, and Joey pulls out condoms from underneath the bed and says "you don't know how long we're gonna be in here! We may have to repopulate the earth." And Chandler says "and CONDOMS are the way to do that...?!"
robodudet 18
Busted
lexiieeex3 32
Why was OP looking through her bag though? If you can't trust someone, don't be with them.
iceking53 8
I did
nlm92 15
For optimal camping experience just add condoms, 23.
cakefete2 31
Confucius say "Man who takes woman on camping trip has one in tent."
saba_ajira 29
Well in an emergency they can hold up to a liter of water. I always keep one on me. Non lubricated though so it wont taint the water.
keirookami 11
If you have to keep your items dry cover them in condoms
Rawrshi 25
Ever had sex while camping? It's ******* in tents!
Brandi_Faith 34
70, so you're telling me that you always carry a non-lubricated condom around, not for sex, but just in case you have run out of water and need it to a hold a litre of rainwater for your survival? Interesting. I guess you win when it comes to survival of the fittest.
ireadsometimes 13
I hope you ended that quickly, don't let her get to you. Sorry op.
BeeHMC 9
I hope by girlfriend you mean "ex"
aircanada707 3
I hope someday this comment will stop
cinimod97 9
#67 it won't
Snorlax_Snarf 10
You sound super desperate to be considered a nerd girl in your bio #53
jimakinson 3
and by "ex" you mean new "camping friend"
zBLAKEz 23
I hate to be stereotypical and say you should leave her, but you really should. Once someone cheats it's over.
Garrison21 11
Screw the once she cheats. Id get rid of her for planning to cheat, and bringing condoms
TheElBurrrito 21
She came back from the camping trip already. He didn't get the chance to find out before she cheated on him.
jayeterror775 18
#6 I agree with you 100%.. Once someone cheats you cannot trust them anymore. And if there is no trust then there is no relationship. Also op you need to dump that bitch. Once a cheater, always a cheater. FYL op I'm sorry that you had to go through this.
thesmeagol 22
like all the above have said, ditch the bitch buuuut always some time to poke some holes in said condoms before you go ;)
zBLAKEz 23
Don't poke holes in the condoms because then there's the potential of a kid being born to people who aren't ready and the kid having a really shitty life. Then you're ruining somebody else's life who hasn't done anything wrong to deserve it because they don't even exist yet.
thesmeagol 22
Or they could be good parents you never know. But you should slow your roll over a joke. This probably occurred weeks ago and op wouldn't be able to unless he gave her another chance.
invadermaythe1st 35
they took condoms because they're not ready for a child, so really they would probably be shitty parents.
VyronBuckingham 9
They must be very close friends..
inner_peace 19
And they grew "closer" while on the camping trip.
Fedezzer 20
Their lateral displacement went into negatives.
skyjayq 10
boo
fnn 5
Well. I don't know about you but I don't use condoms with my close friends.
A7XCamaro 19
So you just go bare with you're close friends 121?
aktail01 10
Sounds like someone doesn't need tires
fearlesscooldude 12
You should have at least went with her or something. Her going to a camping trip with only her ex seems like a big hint.
Daylightscar 13
If you actually read the FML you would know that OP's girlfriend must have lied to him and said she was going on a camping trip with friends so OP wouldn't be suspicious, but he later found out it was a two person "camping trip"
chris4u2nv5 19
So now she's your ex, I hope? Cheating *****!!!!