Today, my wife came back from her camping trip with her friends. I decided to help her out by unpacking her stuff while she used the bathroom. It's funny; I never knew that a dildo, a ball gag and an open pack of condoms were considered camping gear. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who I've been dating for over a year, was going to Florida for a short trip with a few friends without me since I couldn't get work off. She asked me to put her iPod in her bag for her as she was almost ready to walk out the door. That's when I saw she'd packed 10 condoms with her. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML
Today, I found three of my sister's dildos as I helped her unpack boxes for her new house. Jokingly, I said, "Why would you even need three?!" She actually explained. FML
Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML
Today, I found several thongs in the dryer that my wife has never worn before, purchased just days before she is going on vacation with her girlfriends. Serves me right for folding the laundry. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Welshite 40
The true survival kit. The ***** can be used as a grappling hook, the ball gag as a simple weapon, and the condoms to carry water.
Trinidad727 9
Sorry you had to find out that way...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (169)
lollypop30001 19
Um you mean your ex wife right, she a cheating *****!!!
goozeo 11
Well there it is folks- this is an official FML thread now
nothing92x 13
"Friends" is the concern here. Male or Female? Either way, that is a terrible way to find out something like. Tell her she'll need to keep her survival kit when times get tough when she's alone.
PePziNL 20
Even if the friends were all female and she had a giant lesbian orgy at that camp; cheating is cheating.
nothing92x 13
I made that clear in my post. "Either way, that is a terrible way to find out something like that." I'm not saying it was ok for her to cheat with girls.
Vanderdale 14
You said- "Friends" is the concern here. Male or Female?' as if it makes a difference, which it doesn't.
bab3ruthl3ss 16
OP is a lesbian, so there could be concern either way.
limabeans101029 21
Well, we don't know that she's a lesbian, she could be bisexual. Your point stands either way though
sandman676 20
Sorry man that's really ******
wanted_2_want 40
Somebody had a helluva wood time.
CommentKing207 23
I hope you mean ex, and I hope they are not your "friends" anymore
mkcherry 14
Was it a bachelorette weekend trip or something to that affect? She might not have any sexual contact with anyone if they were just party props. OR she might have only had sexual contact with herself, covering toys with condoms makes them easier to clean.
juturnaamo 29
I was thinking that too, but what about the gag? Sue of 'Talk Sex With Sue' did recommend rapping sex toys, and without a private bathroom to clean it in it makes sense.
worldclassrager 41
Who was she all camping with? And why couldn't you go? Also maybe she could have picked those up on the way back and maybe gave a few condoms to a friend of hers...
bab3ruthl3ss 16
Well, aren't you precious?
SkylineFTW97 25
So you're telling me that people go camping without ******, ball gags, and condoms? Next, I suppose you're going to say that I don't need to bring handcuffs and peanut butter.
saffy66 34
Dare I ask what the peanut butter is for?
Ichiya 29
At least it wasn't a weedeater, a live chicken, and some peach preserves.
SkylineFTW97 25
Who told you about those?! I swear I only used them a few times!
lloyen 7
Dude im so sorry
mandoalba 5
All I thought about after seeing this was "this one time at band camp...."
PePziNL 20
"I stuck a flute up my pussy! :D"