Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML
Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML
Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML
Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML
Today, I was violently throwing up due to severe morning sickness. My boyfriend looked at me, then turned and walked away. In the end, my daughter gave me some paper towel and her juice. My 18-month-old is more supportive of my pregnancy than her 30-year-old father. FML
Today, I was having horrible morning sickness. I was violently throwing up, could hardly breathe, and was gasping for air between each round of puking. My husband, in the other room playing video games, snapped and shouted, "Why can't you just be quiet?!" FML
Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML
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Top comments
Llama_Face89 34
Hormones...
thatonegirlnic 10
If you did this to her, you are bound for the aftermath
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Comments (174)
emw7187 11
Sometimes bananas can make preps sick to. Fyi
Shade1982 21
EVERYTHING can make a pregnant woman pregnant at times :p...
emeraldmaz 9
My mother had such bad morning sickness when she was pregnant with me that basically all she could eat was bread and bananas. As a result, I have a mild gluten intolerance, and am allergic to bananas (and kiwifruit and latex - they have the same proteins). Bananas are evil.
Kstruggles 15
there is no reason that the food your mother ate would cause you to become allergic to them.
Shade1982 21
Yeah, ^+1. What your mother eats has nothing to do with your allergies... That is mostly defined by your own upbringing as well as genetics...
sanecatlady 13
So does that mean babies can be born with an allergy to anything the mother eats? What's the alternative, starvation?
KayleeFrye 39
A person's allergies have nothing to do with what their mother ate or didn't eat during a pregnancy.
Jennielee 6
Crackers worked for me :)
an3ph 20
Sorry, OP. She's in the process of making a human. She gets a free pass.
neonstarr 15
Marmite on toast, I found that the easiest to keep down. (Not that I've been pregnant just pukey for 6months.)
AKAR2521 4
just be patient, its the hormones!
amisenho 11
Man, props to any woman (or man) willing to deal with the consequences and aftermath of pregnancy. Bonus points for actually helping her through it with suggestions instead of waiting it out in your man cave like a wimp.
Creekview12 3
I bet all the "you deserved it's" are girls on their periods. . .
CarouselHeart 11
To be honest, it doesn't sound like you were being very sympathetic to her. There's no point in eating if you're just going to puke it up anyway.
jh921971 10
Give her space. Then she'll be pissed at you for not showering her with kindness. So you do that instead. Then she gets pissed at you for not giving her space... Good luck!