Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML
Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML
Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML
Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML
Today, I was violently throwing up due to severe morning sickness. My boyfriend looked at me, then turned and walked away. In the end, my daughter gave me some paper towel and her juice. My 18-month-old is more supportive of my pregnancy than her 30-year-old father. FML
Today, I was having horrible morning sickness. I was violently throwing up, could hardly breathe, and was gasping for air between each round of puking. My husband, in the other room playing video games, snapped and shouted, "Why can't you just be quiet?!" FML
Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML
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Top comments
Llama_Face89 34
Hormones...
thatonegirlnic 10
If you did this to her, you are bound for the aftermath
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Comments (174)
jamnglamgirlie 17
Next time cut them into heart shapes.
BriCx 8
It's just her hormones making her moody. It's not her fault. Don't worry, it'll get better.
merryhappy1887 20
Just wait til second trimester.
simsgirlgem 25
mood swings can't predict them and I think apple sauce be better no chewing involved
worldclassrager 41
You should have cut up the banana...and for the fun of it make a fruit salad :)
softviking 12
Don't worry, the baby gets what it needs even if she goes a day without eating.
ashleyylove3 22
Gotta love those pregnancy hormones
ashleyylove3 22
But hey, you must be a pretty great guy if you're trying to help her and the baby out! Sorry OP! Once the baby comes it will all be worth it (:
WhiteZoneRedZone 6
Talk about going bananas...
RachelRHCP 23
I would have just made her some soup. That's light. Or just plain Chicken Broth. It does the trick. Maybe you could use this for future refernces:)