Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML
Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML
Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML
Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML
Today, I was violently throwing up due to severe morning sickness. My boyfriend looked at me, then turned and walked away. In the end, my daughter gave me some paper towel and her juice. My 18-month-old is more supportive of my pregnancy than her 30-year-old father. FML
Today, I was having horrible morning sickness. I was violently throwing up, could hardly breathe, and was gasping for air between each round of puking. My husband, in the other room playing video games, snapped and shouted, "Why can't you just be quiet?!" FML
Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML
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Top comments
Llama_Face89 34
Hormones...
thatonegirlnic 10
If you did this to her, you are bound for the aftermath
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Comments (174)
Needafarm 22
I know its not a breakfast food, but I find that waking up and getting something in my belly as fast as I can like beans (protein) and rice (carbs) helped a lot in my first trimester. I am just barely into my second my second trimester and I still have the sickness but not as bad. Just made split pea soup, its a bean and lots of liquid. Have to keep those liquids in no matter how much the baby sits on your bladder and makes you get up half the night to urinate. I don't think first trimester is suppose to be a super moody time, she just feels like crap. You are doing a great job trying to keep her fed. Keep it. Good luck!
SuzyTurquoiseBlu 25
I can understand where you are coming from OP but I can also see her point of view. She is probably a ball full of frustrated hormones right now and is probably pissed off and hungry but can't eat anything because of the morning sickness. Don't take it to heart, okay? x Congratulations on the pending arrival. :)
jonahwalzer 12
Maybe she is on her period too
Selkhe 10
i believe you have a fundamental misunderstanding of how pregnancy works
KayleeFrye 39
Well, a small amount of women continue to get periods throughout their pregnancy, but I'm willing to bet the commenter is just an idiot.
WhiteZoneRedZone 6
Interestingly enough, the FML right before this one was about a woman who was on her period. I thought that is what the "too" was about at first.
an3ph 20
How about another pass at health class, Jonah?
SuzyTurquoiseBlu 25
... Sure. Pregnancy tooootally works that way lol.
timss4 19
Lol oh no! Watch out she's pregnant! Give me a break, you try showing fangs at me when you're prego, you'll end up dealin with it all alone till you learn to play nice. ...and apologize lol
OverFlash 15
I feel so sorry for any chick you knock up, then
SuzyTurquoiseBlu 25
Wow that's actually quite nasty. Please don't breed.
Emily062611 6
Spoken like an immature, insensitive, unhelpful jerk. What a horrible time to abandon someone.
XIceBlueX 21
Actually bananas in between meals are supposed to help morning sickness
andythewrong 5
You can't win with a pregnant wife .
Deadmike 7
bitches be crazy
SergeantSnuggles 12
lol.. it's her hormones. don't worry op!
cryssycakesx3 23
you brought or bought a banana?
davincidasecond 24
The more fmls I read of pregnant women going off the wall the more I hope I never get anyone knocked up, ever. Good luck OP
the_real_dvd 21
Abstinence is the only guaranteed method. Good luck with that.
conqueror57 11
If you meet a woman you love and who you want to have your baby, you'll feel differently. I try to stay sane during pregnancy for him, but he loves me and the baby to be enough to understand when I can't hold it together. And he is grateful he isn't the one to carry or deliver, the baby.