Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML
Today, my friend was extremely constipated when he used my toilet. I'm now having to go buy a new toothbrush, because he used mine to dig out his shit. FML
Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to scare me by tilting the portable street toilets while I was taking a dump in one of them. One of my friends accidentally rocked it too hard and it fell on the floor. They wouldn't even let me sit in the car after because I had shit all over me. FML
Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Today, I really haven't been feeling well. Even thought I felt like complete shit, my friends dragged me out to a club. When I got there, I ran into the bathroom and started simultaneously shitting and puking. If I stopped one, the other got worse. I was stuck there for an hour and a half. FML
Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML
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Top comments
Dodge4x4Ram 46
tell him that shit wasn't funny
Mauskau 36
I stay on the toilet by choice because my phone is fun. However it's no fun when you're constantly ******** yourself. Think about it this way, free weight loss!
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Comments (102)
Dodge4x4Ram 46
tell him that shit wasn't funny
buckstop1 37
It's hilarious
Hiktmae 20
Yeah your friend has a ****** up sense of humor.
howard007 18
"Friend"
ProfessorMctitie 20
Apperently so does #10
buckstop1 37
#36 Go on YouTube and search "Laxative Pranks". If you look at the the amount of likes, you'll see that thousands if not millions of people would find it funny too.
Roku_Crow 12
I see what you did there
Retaheki 27
#46 Just because it's funny doesn't mean it's moral. There are millions of racists that make (terrible) racist jokes and then laugh about it. It's funny to them, but not right to everyone else.
buckstop1 37
I didn't say it was morale. I said it was funny. And besides, what's the big deal. The "friend" slips in a couple laxitives, later on OP gets the "friend" back with the same prank, and it's something they can laugh about in the future.
I_eat_hearts17 9
Only if OP doesn't end up in the hospital. Laxatives can cause some serious problems. lol
laurencarroll 11
Oh friends and their shitnanagans
Mauskau 36
I stay on the toilet by choice because my phone is fun. However it's no fun when you're constantly ******** yourself. Think about it this way, free weight loss!
tossaway2321 5
Weight loss isn't always a good thing
I_lost_the_game 25
I don't see why this is getting thumbed down, it's true, sometimes weight loss can be unhealthy!
Rectov 10
That awkward moment when people promote being underweight as cool on the Internet.
brendejafulable 41
It's time for war.
JJ_86 22
Yup, and OP has a lot of alone time to Sit there and come up with ways to get back. I hope the thought process FLOWS smooth and easy.
EmoKami 21
Revenge would be interesting, although I'd up the ante by taking the toilet paper first! XD Well, if we're going with the same theme that is...lol
Steve95401 49
That wasn't quite the weight loss plan you had in mind.
howard007 18
Still better than most weight loss pills and op got it for free
thatnucca 36
Return the favor... That's all I can say about this...
mct_1087 27
Your "friend". Doesn't matter who he is. Who does that? FYL
tehdarkness 21
Agreed. That would be a friendship deal breaker for me.
vikky538 29
Rule No.1: don't play with shit...
iAmPaul 49
"Writing this from the toilet. Send help."
howard007 18
SOS OUT OF TOILER PAPER
expertsmilee 26
A roll of toilet paper will cost one *******.
beccarey9 17
Pretty crappy friend