Today, my wife asked me to pop an ingrown hair near her crotch. We haven't had sex since last September. Popping her ingrown hair was the closest I've gotten to my wife's vagina in nearly nine months. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I popped a zit that had formed around an ingrown hair "down there". It popped with so much force, the pus hit me in the forehead. Still can't get the hair out. FML
Today, my wife yelled at me to "just stick it up her ass already." No, not for anal sex, it was a suppository she got from the doctor. This is the closest I’ve been to sex in two years, since she decided we were done having sex and won’t even explain why when I ask. We’re only in our 30s. FML
Today, I just had surgery and my wife finally wants to have sex. Not that there haven't been enough other days in the previous years of marriage… FML
Today, I got an ingrown hair. It wouldn’t be so bad, if it were anywhere other than my penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend started avoiding going down on me ever since he found an ingrowing hair down there. The only reason I have an ingrowing hair is because he didn’t like my pubes, and stopped having sex with me at all until I shaved it off, thus causing the ingrowing hair. FML
Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML
Today, my husband called me to our bedroom, saying he needed help with something. I found him sitting on the bed with his pants down, so I smiled and asked if he was angling for sex, which was fine with me. Nope. He needed me to pop a pimple under his ballsack. FML
Today, I shaved my vagina for the first time ever. Had sex with my husband and then asked if he liked that. He said, "You've done that before, though". I haven't. We've been married 15 years. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, my wife is out of the country so my daughter asked me for help. She'd tried waxing her "private bits" but it hurt too much so she left the strip stuck down there for nearly two days. I was so unable to handle the situation, I called my wife crying and begging her to come home and deal with it. FML
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Top comments
itsnotmytree 0
How the hell do you go that long without sex? I'm married and we don't go more than 2 or 3 days, even when we're sick. This is after four years, too.
surreal 0
That sucks! You know the romance is gone when your wife asks you to pop an ingrown hair. Near her ******.
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Comments (152)
christopherlove 0
Not true for everyone, acire. I've known some nymphos that completely lost their sex drives when they got pregnant. As far as nature making you horny in order to encourage procreation goes, why would pregnancy increase sex drive?
whogivesaf_ck08 0
its good your relationship is close enough for her to ask this of you...however, it should be close enough then to be asking why she hasnt had sex with you, hmmm? talk to your wife man.
judgeymcjudge 0
This, definitely.
p00p0ster0us 0
We lack information to guide you. How about f***ing your life up more descriptively?
Katzilla_dances 0
YDI for not trying to have any romance in your life, this can only lead to divorce.
slax0r 0
EEEEEWWWWW i was eating while I read this! XP
raaaaaachel 0
she's your wife, and you haven't had sex for nine months? you need to have a SERIOUS talk with her about that.
SS240 0
FYL :c If she doesnt start doing her part of the relationship either you guys need an open arrangement or a divorce
junomcguff_fml 0
Unless she's highly pregnant (you said 9 months, right?) then you need to sit down and talk. Seriously. I mean it. (I'll continiue this comment so that you'll have time to have a conversation while I'm writing it). Now. Today. As soon as possible. Kim Possible. Brandy and mr. Whiskers. Cats have whiskers. I have a cat. Cats bite. I bet you would like to "bite" your wife. You and your wife need to have a talk. Now. Seriously. I mean it.
DorkusD 0
LOL what???
podrummer9209 0
uhmm.... sorry, EW. Anddd.. yeah. talk about it. that's unhealthy for your relationship =
podrummer9209 0
uhmm.... sorry, EW. Anddd.. yeah. talk about it. that's unhealthy for your relationship =