Today, my wife asked me to pop an ingrown hair near her crotch. We haven't had sex since last September. Popping her ingrown hair was the closest I've gotten to my wife's vagina in nearly nine months. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I popped a zit that had formed around an ingrown hair "down there". It popped with so much force, the pus hit me in the forehead. Still can't get the hair out. FML
Today, my wife yelled at me to "just stick it up her ass already." No, not for anal sex, it was a suppository she got from the doctor. This is the closest I’ve been to sex in two years, since she decided we were done having sex and won’t even explain why when I ask. We’re only in our 30s. FML
Today, I just had surgery and my wife finally wants to have sex. Not that there haven't been enough other days in the previous years of marriage… FML
Today, I got an ingrown hair. It wouldn’t be so bad, if it were anywhere other than my penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend started avoiding going down on me ever since he found an ingrowing hair down there. The only reason I have an ingrowing hair is because he didn’t like my pubes, and stopped having sex with me at all until I shaved it off, thus causing the ingrowing hair. FML
Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML
Today, my husband called me to our bedroom, saying he needed help with something. I found him sitting on the bed with his pants down, so I smiled and asked if he was angling for sex, which was fine with me. Nope. He needed me to pop a pimple under his ballsack. FML
Today, I shaved my vagina for the first time ever. Had sex with my husband and then asked if he liked that. He said, "You've done that before, though". I haven't. We've been married 15 years. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, my wife is out of the country so my daughter asked me for help. She'd tried waxing her "private bits" but it hurt too much so she left the strip stuck down there for nearly two days. I was so unable to handle the situation, I called my wife crying and begging her to come home and deal with it. FML
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Top comments
itsnotmytree 0
How the hell do you go that long without sex? I'm married and we don't go more than 2 or 3 days, even when we're sick. This is after four years, too.
surreal 0
That sucks! You know the romance is gone when your wife asks you to pop an ingrown hair. Near her ******.
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Comments (152)
dreadedone 0
At least she is keeping it clean. Just not for you!!!
anglcdvl89 0
So....was it good for you? ;)
Nothingson1864 0
hahaha
ilikefish 0
Why the hell couldn't she do it herself?
Jimboom 12
Should have punched her right in the vag while you were down there. At least that way you know nobody else will be touching it either... for a while at least.
NoDontKillMe 19
Yes because abuse will help.
FlyMeToTheMoon 0
We don't know the full story. Has she had a baby in the last 9 months? Is she going through meno? There could be 101 reasons why she doesn't want to. Quit moaning on here and go find out why!
carioki34 7
Menopause makes you want sex more.
dannnngthatsux 19
136. Ask all the middle aged guys out there, menopause 99% of the times means far less sex. What do you think a midlife crisis is really about? Getting rejected 90+% of the time means you start trying to find ways to feel better about yourself that you never considered before.
bpchamp123 0
ever suspected cheating? and gross, let her do it herself esp. if you havent gotten any in the last nine mos. unless your the cheating one...
glassjaw_90 0
No, no, no, **** that. That is sick and it is wrong she's been holding out on you. She's probably cheating, but even if not, you should be.
DenBriZel 31
They "should be" cheating??! Please don't ever get in a serious relationship. There are so many reasons why she doesn't want to have sex. Maybe she's pregnant. (that would also explain why it's been 9 months). There are some women who don't want to have sex while pregnant because they're worried it will bother the baby. And there are some who simply can't have sex while pregnant because the act makes them feel sick. There's never a good reason to cheat.
Stephie_fml 0
Aww :( Maybe you need to be more aggressive? Sometimes I dont feel sexy enough to initiate with my husband, but when he comes home and pushes me against the wall and kisses me, I'm ready to go!! It's definitely time for a talk. Good luck!!
Orangeman69 0
you need to tell her that..... she could be cheating you know... you should just try to have sex with her and see if she is turned on and wants to participate...
Rockyio 0
either she is cheating on you or she has just lost her sex drive. i dunno man..FYL. thats nasty lol