Today, my wife asked me to pop an ingrown hair near her crotch. We haven't had sex since last September. Popping her ingrown hair was the closest I've gotten to my wife's vagina in nearly nine months. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I popped a zit that had formed around an ingrown hair "down there". It popped with so much force, the pus hit me in the forehead. Still can't get the hair out. FML
Today, my wife yelled at me to "just stick it up her ass already." No, not for anal sex, it was a suppository she got from the doctor. This is the closest I’ve been to sex in two years, since she decided we were done having sex and won’t even explain why when I ask. We’re only in our 30s. FML
Today, I just had surgery and my wife finally wants to have sex. Not that there haven't been enough other days in the previous years of marriage… FML
Today, I got an ingrown hair. It wouldn’t be so bad, if it were anywhere other than my penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend started avoiding going down on me ever since he found an ingrowing hair down there. The only reason I have an ingrowing hair is because he didn’t like my pubes, and stopped having sex with me at all until I shaved it off, thus causing the ingrowing hair. FML
Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML
Today, my husband called me to our bedroom, saying he needed help with something. I found him sitting on the bed with his pants down, so I smiled and asked if he was angling for sex, which was fine with me. Nope. He needed me to pop a pimple under his ballsack. FML
Today, I shaved my vagina for the first time ever. Had sex with my husband and then asked if he liked that. He said, "You've done that before, though". I haven't. We've been married 15 years. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, my wife is out of the country so my daughter asked me for help. She'd tried waxing her "private bits" but it hurt too much so she left the strip stuck down there for nearly two days. I was so unable to handle the situation, I called my wife crying and begging her to come home and deal with it. FML
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Top comments
itsnotmytree 0
How the hell do you go that long without sex? I'm married and we don't go more than 2 or 3 days, even when we're sick. This is after four years, too.
surreal 0
That sucks! You know the romance is gone when your wife asks you to pop an ingrown hair. Near her ******.
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Comments (152)
Sanrio90 8
Ignore people who suggest cheating; it's not how you solve marital problems. I'm guessing since you said 9 months, she might be pregnant. If not, simply ask her what the problem is or suggest counseling.
Talenie 0
um that's ******* grotesque.
Rach_star 0
HAHAHAHAHA I know righttt
topflight1001 0
You guys need help
xrinny 0
Lmfao. Should've made a move, stud muffin.
KO2 0
That's what I'm thinking! Wtf? Who asks that? *gag*
ljv223 3
I'd say shes cheating on you think about it
iBreezy92192 0
Oh hell no. **** that. That is sick. I don't care how comfortable you get with your spouse of w.e. You just don't ask someone to do that. Thats gross. Do it your own damn self! And if you are married, you need to talk to her.. Explain to her dudes need sex. No ifs ans or buts about it. FYL dude. FYL.
DoctorManhattan 0
You should definitely try to talk to her about why she's unwilling or unable to have sex with you. Maybe go to couples counseling or something. If she's simply adamantly unwilling and you think it's important enough, you should try to talk her into letting you have sex outside the relationship. It's not cheating if everyone involved consents, and if she's not willing to provide that for you herself, she shouldn't really have a problem with you getting it somewhere else as long as you keep clean, use protection, and promise to keep it purely sexual between you and the other person/people involved. If she's not up for that and you feel it's important enough to you, I'd definitely recommend divorce. Don't cheat though 'cause that's just shitty and cruel and awful.
Volcomliberation 1
well i don't know you but i think YDI. TALK TO HER!!!!!!!!!!!!
cmob17 0
wow some people don't know anything....maybe you haven't been as romantic as you want her to be. you need to tell her to get all sexy and you get sexy yourself...and romantically ask her what she wants you to do..that should get her going!...if she's cheating on you you'll find out. don't jump to any conclusions though