Today, I received pictures on my phone of my husband leaving a hotel with a young lady. Upon confronting him about it, he told me it was his “twin brother.” When I brought up that he was an only child, he said, "Stop believing shit people tell you unless it’s coming from me" and hung up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML
Today, I was selected to go on a business trip for the first time in over a decade. I called my brother about it, who then proceeded to call into question every single aspect of the trip, affirming that his wife did everything different on her trips. I had to hang up before he had me questioning my own employment. FML
Today, I went over to the house of a guy I have hooked up with a few times. After we got done, I asked him why we were not in the room across the hall. He said that was his twin brother's room. FML
Today, I saw my husband’s Instagram story of a young lady captioned, “How did I get so lucky?” I took a screenshot of it and sent it to him. His only defense was, “Oh fuck, I meant to post that to my Close Friends! It’s not what it looks like!” He's called me 14 times and has left 6 voicemails of him sobbing to not leave him. FML
Today, my husband woke me up by sending me a picture of a guy I used to semi-see. The same night my boyfriend sent me a furious text asking why I didn’t tell him I’m married, because my husband has found his Instagram and was harassing him online. Like, leave me alone. FML
Today, I came to found out that every time my husband told me that he was on "a work trip", he was actually cheating on me with some other bitch. FML
Today, I found out my ex has been using AI to fake a whole relationship with me. He’s been sending pics to his family abroad about our supposed lives together, including a wedding, vacations, and even children. I only found out after one of his cousins messaged me wanting to visit. FML
Today, I received a text from a man my wife had an affair with, in which he stated that my 18 year-old daughter is biologically his. He then sent me pictures of her that my wife had sent to him. FML
Today, I learned that when communication is getting shorter with you, it’s getting longer with someone else. My husband never tells me about his day anymore, but he constantly texts his coworker outside work. He vehemently insists she’s only a coworker and nothing else, and he’s “allowed to have friends”. FML
Today, a guy I went out with twice, and slept with once, came knocking on my door, hysterically crying. Apparently his wife found out about “us” and kicked him out. He’s now asking where he can put his stuff, since he’s now homeless. I had no idea he was married, and she’s now looking to fight me. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Fake News! If there's suddenly a twin brother that you've never heard of before, then he must exist. It's the new technology of lying that Trump perfected and popularized: when your lie is exposed, repeat it louder and more angrily. The goal is not to get your opponent to believe it, but to crush their will to resist the deluge of bullshit.
Plop 17
"Forget about the evidence!". Wait, is OP dating the dude from the MikePillow BS symposium?
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
Fake News! If there's suddenly a twin brother that you've never heard of before, then he must exist. It's the new technology of lying that Trump perfected and popularized: when your lie is exposed, repeat it louder and more angrily. The goal is not to get your opponent to believe it, but to crush their will to resist the deluge of bullshit.
Plop 17
"Forget about the evidence!". Wait, is OP dating the dude from the MikePillow BS symposium?
Chazzster 32
Husband’s lying reaction just proves that there was something going on that he’s not proud of. Not cool and not smart! I assume you already know what comes next - as Dear Abby used to frequently say, “Are you better off with him or without him?”
Jon Tessler 14
now you tell him "you didn't tell me this, but I hear you are getting a divorce", as you hand him the papers.
ElijahAsh 14
Get rid off the shit stain!
sirrubberduckie 37
If movies have taught me anything, it's that he's learning to dance for your anniversary and she's his instructor.