Today, my wife asked me to pop an ingrown hair near her crotch. We haven't had sex since last September. Popping her ingrown hair was the closest I've gotten to my wife's vagina in nearly nine months. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I popped a zit that had formed around an ingrown hair "down there". It popped with so much force, the pus hit me in the forehead. Still can't get the hair out. FML
Today, my wife yelled at me to "just stick it up her ass already." No, not for anal sex, it was a suppository she got from the doctor. This is the closest I’ve been to sex in two years, since she decided we were done having sex and won’t even explain why when I ask. We’re only in our 30s. FML
Today, I just had surgery and my wife finally wants to have sex. Not that there haven't been enough other days in the previous years of marriage… FML
Today, I got an ingrown hair. It wouldn’t be so bad, if it were anywhere other than my penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend started avoiding going down on me ever since he found an ingrowing hair down there. The only reason I have an ingrowing hair is because he didn’t like my pubes, and stopped having sex with me at all until I shaved it off, thus causing the ingrowing hair. FML
Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML
Today, my husband called me to our bedroom, saying he needed help with something. I found him sitting on the bed with his pants down, so I smiled and asked if he was angling for sex, which was fine with me. Nope. He needed me to pop a pimple under his ballsack. FML
Today, I shaved my vagina for the first time ever. Had sex with my husband and then asked if he liked that. He said, "You've done that before, though". I haven't. We've been married 15 years. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, my wife is out of the country so my daughter asked me for help. She'd tried waxing her "private bits" but it hurt too much so she left the strip stuck down there for nearly two days. I was so unable to handle the situation, I called my wife crying and begging her to come home and deal with it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
itsnotmytree 0
How the hell do you go that long without sex? I'm married and we don't go more than 2 or 3 days, even when we're sick. This is after four years, too.
surreal 0
That sucks! You know the romance is gone when your wife asks you to pop an ingrown hair. Near her ******.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (152)
shaPOW 0
that was nice of you to actually pop it instead of making her do it herself. and i agree with everyone else who says you should talk to her about it. don't jump to conclusions, but find out why she doesn't want to have sex with you.
MKflyy 0
Sad thing is, my mom just asked me to do the same thing for her. Disgusting, I said no.
BRIDESHEAD 0
Go Romeo! Seek new realms of Pleasure!
fmlchanel 0
ewhhhh? dude seriously.
tupaclives 0
im sorry, i know there are some pretty f'd up things on this site,,but this is a little TMI
TheChanel 0
EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! I feel for ya dude!! talk to your wife, tell her you're gonna take a mistress if she doesn't start puttin out! lol but still, FYL
NotNegativeNews 0
There's a reason why not. Find out what it is, rather than blaming her for it all. Though I'm suspecting that this is a reference to a pregnant wife who is shaving because she keeps getting checked by doctors, and he's just bitter because she doesn't want to sleep with him while she's pregnant. (Which many women don't want to do because it creeps them out)
novellover63 0
those ingrown hairs need to be popped. I just wonder why she couldn't do it herself . . . . -_-
1bored 0
Well u should probably make a move! Get dressed up or do something romantic for her! Marriage is 50-50 thing u should do somethin about it bro!!
jpd212 1
damn dude you need to get on that! and you're french too, kings of romance!! c koi ca? il fau baiser ta femme, mon pote.