Today, my wife asked me to pop an ingrown hair near her crotch. We haven't had sex since last September. Popping her ingrown hair was the closest I've gotten to my wife's vagina in nearly nine months. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I popped a zit that had formed around an ingrown hair "down there". It popped with so much force, the pus hit me in the forehead. Still can't get the hair out. FML
Today, my wife yelled at me to "just stick it up her ass already." No, not for anal sex, it was a suppository she got from the doctor. This is the closest I’ve been to sex in two years, since she decided we were done having sex and won’t even explain why when I ask. We’re only in our 30s. FML
Today, I just had surgery and my wife finally wants to have sex. Not that there haven't been enough other days in the previous years of marriage… FML
Today, I got an ingrown hair. It wouldn’t be so bad, if it were anywhere other than my penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend started avoiding going down on me ever since he found an ingrowing hair down there. The only reason I have an ingrowing hair is because he didn’t like my pubes, and stopped having sex with me at all until I shaved it off, thus causing the ingrowing hair. FML
Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML
Today, my husband called me to our bedroom, saying he needed help with something. I found him sitting on the bed with his pants down, so I smiled and asked if he was angling for sex, which was fine with me. Nope. He needed me to pop a pimple under his ballsack. FML
Today, I shaved my vagina for the first time ever. Had sex with my husband and then asked if he liked that. He said, "You've done that before, though". I haven't. We've been married 15 years. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, my wife is out of the country so my daughter asked me for help. She'd tried waxing her "private bits" but it hurt too much so she left the strip stuck down there for nearly two days. I was so unable to handle the situation, I called my wife crying and begging her to come home and deal with it. FML
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Top comments
itsnotmytree 0
How the hell do you go that long without sex? I'm married and we don't go more than 2 or 3 days, even when we're sick. This is after four years, too.
surreal 0
That sucks! You know the romance is gone when your wife asks you to pop an ingrown hair. Near her ******.
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Comments (152)
luckyemmy 0
Who would want to after that?? eww
drybamboo 0
TMI. Guh-ross. I keep forgetting to not look at FML whenever I'm eating or feel nauseous.
shananigans 0
Um... Yeah you should handle that, that sounds like a serious problem (the no sex for nine months thing). I mean, NINE MONTHS? I actually had to reread that to make sure I got it right the first time.
DankJemo 0
yet she is still shaving, obviously... curious... Do you trust your wife? At any rate... I can't go 9 months, I am not married... i don't even have a girlfriend and I can't go nine months... you poor unfortunate man.
twilax101 0
how do you pop a hair?!
Kittycate6606 0
Either she was pregnant or you have a serious problem. I cant go longer then 4 days without sex.
greeneggsnsam 0
it should have been: Today, my wife asked me to pop an ingrown hair near her crotch. FML.
mattmag 0
... it was. And then he elaborated to make it even more FMLish. Why would he leave the most depressing part out?
cambiata 1
I can't get my boyfriend to give me sex more than once a week, no matter how much I ask him for it. :(
kitkatkelly 0
That sucks. I always have a higher sex drive than my boyfriends too. :(
UncleverName_FYL 0
I feel sorry for you two, get better bfs.... i would kill for a girl who could keep up with my sex drive
BBat_fml 0
DUDE! i didn't know other girls had that issue! same here. FML
Coeliacchic93 21
I didn't realise how high my sex drive is till I met my boyfriend, luckily his is just a high as mine :D
christopherlove 0
Aaaand I can no longer finish my breakfast after reading this.
kimfosho 0
hahahhahahhaha
jadeho 0
you get ingrown hairs from shaving right? what is she doing grooming down there if you guys don't even have sex? makes you wonder...
Katzilla_dances 0
No, you don't get ingrown hairs JUST from shaving, you can get them anywhere on your body.