Today, my wife asked me to pop an ingrown hair near her crotch. We haven't had sex since last September. Popping her ingrown hair was the closest I've gotten to my wife's vagina in nearly nine months. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I popped a zit that had formed around an ingrown hair "down there". It popped with so much force, the pus hit me in the forehead. Still can't get the hair out. FML
Today, my wife yelled at me to "just stick it up her ass already." No, not for anal sex, it was a suppository she got from the doctor. This is the closest I’ve been to sex in two years, since she decided we were done having sex and won’t even explain why when I ask. We’re only in our 30s. FML
Today, I just had surgery and my wife finally wants to have sex. Not that there haven't been enough other days in the previous years of marriage… FML
Today, I got an ingrown hair. It wouldn’t be so bad, if it were anywhere other than my penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend started avoiding going down on me ever since he found an ingrowing hair down there. The only reason I have an ingrowing hair is because he didn’t like my pubes, and stopped having sex with me at all until I shaved it off, thus causing the ingrowing hair. FML
Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML
Today, my husband called me to our bedroom, saying he needed help with something. I found him sitting on the bed with his pants down, so I smiled and asked if he was angling for sex, which was fine with me. Nope. He needed me to pop a pimple under his ballsack. FML
Today, I shaved my vagina for the first time ever. Had sex with my husband and then asked if he liked that. He said, "You've done that before, though". I haven't. We've been married 15 years. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, my wife is out of the country so my daughter asked me for help. She'd tried waxing her "private bits" but it hurt too much so she left the strip stuck down there for nearly two days. I was so unable to handle the situation, I called my wife crying and begging her to come home and deal with it. FML
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Top comments
itsnotmytree 0
How the hell do you go that long without sex? I'm married and we don't go more than 2 or 3 days, even when we're sick. This is after four years, too.
surreal 0
That sucks! You know the romance is gone when your wife asks you to pop an ingrown hair. Near her ******.
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Comments (152)
missgreenrawr 0
I bet she is currently nine months pregnant and ready to bust, in this instance she wouldn't be able to see the ingrown hair. It would be bothersome knowing it's there and can't see it. And that probably explains why he would be so willing to pop it, since his wife is pregnant and most likely cranky as hell.
lowcapacityx 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! My goodness that is GROSS! I don't even know what to say. You should've just thrown a rock at it and asked her if it popped yet. I would've done that. YUCK! Slap yourself, she should be able to pop her own shit.
mandi77 1
why the hell would someone ask for that?????? Thats just retarded
Tubasaurus 0
She couldn't do this herself? Is she missing her arms? Nine months without sex is ridiculous.
FarSide 23
...unless your wife is so fat, that she can reach her cooter.
beepmeep 0
YDI for not trying to repair an obvious loveless marriage after say.....a few weeks? a few months? Seriously. It takes two people to make a relationship work and if one person isn't doing their part then it's up to the other person to make some sort of confrontation.
emptycities07 0
well if you're over 45 and have children....uhhh would you really wanna have sex every 2 days? like wtf.
kitkatkelly 0
Gross! I would never ask my boyfriend to pop an ingrown pube. Especially when we're not physically intimate.
HeroHog 10
Man! Most of you make me sick! Grow up! How old are you, 11? You would be surprised what you will do for the one you truly love, especially if you have been married for some time. As to why so long, not everyone needs it every day, week or whatever. Health also plays a HUGE part. Chronic pain can take the "fun" out of sex REAL quick. I know. Grow up people.
iEATdreamsx 0
hahah ew.
dancin303 0
this makes me hope my parents dont have sex since i was born or atleast since i started middle school