Today, my eldest daughter told me about the sharp pains she's been having for the past couple of days. She also told me how she thinks it's really pointy carrots trying to escape her body. She's 11, and going to middle school. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML
Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML
Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML
Today, I have discovered that my daughter is struggling with anorexia. When I sat down to talk with her about it, she said it’s because, "all the other kids at school keep calling her fat." She was underweight before, and has now gone to being severely underweight. FML
Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML
Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML
Today, after it appeared my daughter was throwing away any vegetables in her school lunch, I packed her all vegetables so she would have to eat at least one. Nope! She threw them out and complained to school that "mommy doesn't feed" her. I got a call from the school. FML
Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML
Today, my eleven-year-old daughter complained that she has "no serotonin.” I fear what is to come for her. FML
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Top comments
smallfeetbigtoes 7
Maybe she is getting pre period cramps...
Oh_No_Not_Him 25
Don't be daft! It's obviously a razor-sharp lettuce-leaf!
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Comments (74)
Oh_No_Not_Him 25
Don't be daft! It's obviously a razor-sharp lettuce-leaf!
holly_fly 34
This is completely unrelated to the FML, but is your username a powerpuff reference? Cuz if so, you are my hero XD if not... Please, someone tell me I'm not the only one to see it.
crudeandrudeguy 29
At least you don't have to save up money to send her to college
smallfeetbigtoes 7
Maybe she is getting pre period cramps...
popaulina 8
Yeah if she hasn't been told about periods yet than I'd say OP deserves it.
quakiquack 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Hi there, that surely sounds odd. I don't want to paint the devil on the wall nor worry you, but does the pain always occur in the same area? If so I suggest you get it checked out by a doctor, as this sounds a lot like bone cancer in early stage. although this disease is highly unlikely to hit people under the age of 40, there are rare cases. I doubt your daughter would have it, but I thought I'd let you know anyways - again not to worry you, but maybe to allow for you to become more aware. I suggest you google an X-Ray of bone cancer and then you'll see what I mean. I hope your daughter is fine and it's gonna go away!!! All the best and have a wonderful day! xxx
ShleeG 23
yes... stomach pains sounds like cancer. way to jump to the worst case scenario
SubaruWRXSTI 16
Seriously? Bone cancer? She is an 11 year old girl, meaning that she is probably getting period cramps. Stop looking at WebMD for information, because it is incorrect.
Askavi 37
While it could be something serious, it's most likely constipation or the start of her period. Start with the basics first.
nanner6206 24
OP didn't say they were stomach pains.
crazyoliversmum 6
How on earth did you jump straight to osteosarcoma??
Theguyinthedark 11
You must be the one they call party pooper.
BananEnigma 24
Yes, because "Bone Cancer of the Stomach" is the scourge of the 21st century. You need an anatomy lesson.
BananEnigma 24
#10: OP's daughter said she thought it was "pointy carrots". WHERE ELSE would -CARROTS- be located in an 11 year old?! It's clearly inferred that it was her stomach. I thought that was obvious, or at least the most logical conclusion.
Nyattack 14
Why is everybody speaking of stomach pains ? There's just written "sharp pains" ; or maybe the FML was edited ?
Bekll 31
"Feels like sharp carrots" is to describe the pain, not say there are literal carrots in her (which doesn't always have to be the stomach).
BananEnigma 24
Uh, because.... Carrots?
BananEnigma 24
#22: That's true, but at her age it makes more sense if she would be talking about her stomach when she says "pointy carrots", as if she had swallowed them and they're poking her from the inside. My son has made similar comments about food. We definitely need an update on this one, OP needs to clarify a few things. (Also, my *previous comment was made for #21.)
olleekenberg 20
Don't write "xxx". Please write "xoxo" or something instead.
Arkham_Callabero 15
I didn't know WebMD has an FML account
Casual_Cthulhu 12
Plot twist! She has cancer.
haddiej 21
That's a ****** up thing to say.
zaarae 7
if you hear hoofs don't look for zebras it's probably a horse.... meaning don't look for far fetched illnesses before checking for the common basics.
BsclyIDoWork 10
I caught it when I was 14 and still have it. the people above me need to quit because cancer is a very real thing and anyone can get it. cancer is alot more common than you think.
NJ37 3
I don't see why this comment got buried. it's actually very possible for children to get cancer and sometimes it's better to be safe than sorry, especially when experiencing pains like this. Hopefully everything is okay though.
GhostFox 34
Kids at age 11 are still pretty prone to flights of fancy. Also, if the school system is anything like it was 10 years ago, they probably haven't covered shit about in depth anatomy and still rely on "The Magic School Bus" for most biology info.
Diarrhea_Volcano 29
At my school they told us about everything in 5th grade
smallfeetbigtoes 7
Sometimes when you neighbour is gone, I like to roll around in her garden and pretend that I am a carrot.
bornpatriot 11
Jesus. Get your shit together.
nanner6206 24
Could be growing pains too. Best to just have her seen by her pediatrician. Hope she's alright.
BananEnigma 24
In her stomach? Seems legit.
fakedsincerity 32
You can get growing pains all over your body... jfc #17, you win the prize for most different downvoted comments in one fml.
BananEnigma 24
If not period cramps, take her to a doctor. Wait a while to see if she gets her period, but if the pain worsens at all, IMMEDIATELY take it seriously. Whether SHE believes it's "pointy carrots", bugs eating her from the inside out, or something entirely logical, you need to take it seriously. Something similar happened to me when I was younger, I wasn't taken seriously, and my appendix burst. I nearly died because adults thought it was my period or I was exaggerating. Please have her seen by a professional.
screweverythin 16
11 is still pretty young. She's just trying to figure things out. If you haven't already, now is a good time for The Girl Talk. Just explain what's happening and problem resolved
mfmylifesrsly 30
Lots of girls get their period around that age.
jocamo 24
I was technically still 11 when I got my first period, I got it the Thursday night before Guide camp and my 12th Birthday was that Sunday. So that was an interesting weekend.
Catdragon 40
I got my period on my 12th birthday. I was at school when I noticed the blood. Best birthday ever.
yerawizardlizzy 27
I'm 27 and sometimes I'm convinced an alien will pop out of me a la the movie of the same name, so I don't really know why you're being so dismissive because of your daughter's age and school level.
Overraine 4
you should take both of those very seriously. especially the one about the carrots. at best she's making it up or is really gullible at worst she could have a mental illness. when I was 13 I had severe pain in my stomach thankfully my parents believed me and the mass was removed, took the doctors a week to find it though.