Today, my wife asked me to pop an ingrown hair near her crotch. We haven't had sex since last September. Popping her ingrown hair was the closest I've gotten to my wife's vagina in nearly nine months. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I popped a zit that had formed around an ingrown hair "down there". It popped with so much force, the pus hit me in the forehead. Still can't get the hair out. FML
Today, my wife yelled at me to "just stick it up her ass already." No, not for anal sex, it was a suppository she got from the doctor. This is the closest I’ve been to sex in two years, since she decided we were done having sex and won’t even explain why when I ask. We’re only in our 30s. FML
Today, I just had surgery and my wife finally wants to have sex. Not that there haven't been enough other days in the previous years of marriage… FML
Today, I got an ingrown hair. It wouldn’t be so bad, if it were anywhere other than my penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend started avoiding going down on me ever since he found an ingrowing hair down there. The only reason I have an ingrowing hair is because he didn’t like my pubes, and stopped having sex with me at all until I shaved it off, thus causing the ingrowing hair. FML
Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML
Today, my husband called me to our bedroom, saying he needed help with something. I found him sitting on the bed with his pants down, so I smiled and asked if he was angling for sex, which was fine with me. Nope. He needed me to pop a pimple under his ballsack. FML
Today, I shaved my vagina for the first time ever. Had sex with my husband and then asked if he liked that. He said, "You've done that before, though". I haven't. We've been married 15 years. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, my wife is out of the country so my daughter asked me for help. She'd tried waxing her "private bits" but it hurt too much so she left the strip stuck down there for nearly two days. I was so unable to handle the situation, I called my wife crying and begging her to come home and deal with it. FML
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Top comments
itsnotmytree 0
How the hell do you go that long without sex? I'm married and we don't go more than 2 or 3 days, even when we're sick. This is after four years, too.
surreal 0
That sucks! You know the romance is gone when your wife asks you to pop an ingrown hair. Near her ******.
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Comments (152)
Wheats62 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You need to have a conversation with her about that. And women wonder why guys cheat...seriously.
genius_man16 1
I agree with having a conversation about her, but I don't think it's a reason to jump to the conclusion of why guys cheat. They cheat because they are douchebags. If not having sex or whatever is that big of a deal to your relationship, and you talk to your wife about it being a problem and she still doesn't compromise, then you should just get a divorce. There is NEVER any need to cheat. EVER.
lolzforfun228 3
this is why some religions allow you to have more than 1 wife :D
STN_fml 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why are you married if you aren't having sex ? Ofcourse not having sex is a big deal esprcially in a relationship such as marriage.
kitkatkelly 0
Are you a 13-year-old virgin? Be honest. Because it sounds like it.
HAHAHSUCKS4YOU 0
Dammnn dude no wonder shes been cumming over my house so much. You aint giving her shit!
mattmag 0
Cheating is a good method of revenge. She breaks your trust, you break hers. It'll piss her off a lot more than just breaking up. Other than that, I can't think of any particularly good reasons to cheat.
Brwill3 0
she's probably cheating on you! tell her, i'll only pop it if you get on your knees.
dvs01 0
There is NEVER any reason to cheat, EVER? Such a closed-minded thing to say. FYL :)
cassdede 0
true that
vballerlover07 0
Genius man16, marry me? That has to be the best thing I have ever heard to come out of a guys mouth.
Macromartyr 3
I find it's more common for girls to cheat but hey it's just an opinion :P
Melissa92_fml 13
83- I accidentally thumbed you up, regardless of that error however, you're an idiot.
theMISSFOXX 10
This is not always the case, men go threw spurts where they won't have sex either and it's annoying too.
Slasher2977 19
Ive never seen that I cannot go more than two days or i get hyper aggressive, i dont understand why some girls just turn off sex. It is a strange conundrum.
UniUni 20
if sex is the only reason you would stay married to someone, than maybe you shouldn't be married asshole
itsnotmytree 0
How the hell do you go that long without sex? I'm married and we don't go more than 2 or 3 days, even when we're sick. This is after four years, too.
ama17 0
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this couple has been married WAY LONGER than 4 years... It's great you and your wife have a great sex life, but don't brag before it's been more than a few decades...lol Still, I totally agree something's wrong in that relationship... popping an ingrown hair? That's something a doctor should do, because it's a totally non-intimate act! This poor husband.
pwnrzero 0
your married and you dont go 2-3 days without sex? wtf i'd be happy with once every 1-3 months [and that just to have kids]
grimeysly 0
u buggin ..
saa994 0
@ #108: you only have sex once every few months? JUST to have kids? that's really sad. married couples should have sex frequently. that's the only way to keep the relationship healthy.
gamerhead 3
wow, u must can't keep a relationship.
randiZ25 0
geez me and my husband do it twice a week! We have two kids, and still find time! 9 months is crazy I'd literally explode!
lil_ham1644 29
Only twice a week?? Depending on hours together, it's almost every night. (Almost 3 years)
surreal 0
That sucks! You know the romance is gone when your wife asks you to pop an ingrown hair. Near her ******.
curryndricegirll 0
that and the fact that he calls it her crotch.
stringking21 0
well who's she shaving for?
Warm_Apple_Pie 21
She's probably shaving for herself. We don't always shave just to impress someone, you know.
my_fml_account 2
I agree with #1, and why pop that hair if she doesnt give you any. FYL dude, FYL.
Hustlinpimp 0
You are probably the most whipped person ever haha, popping your wife's ingrown hair near her crotch makes you soo damn whipped haha
Fadakar 0
Sorry we're not all "Hustlinpimps". You can say **** off and not get laid for another 9 months, or you can work with the...moment.
thatisjank 0
#8 Yrr A Cutie. (;
Tirinka 0
Last thing you'd expect from France.
ashole1990 10
that is really freakin disgusting
sublime93 0
LMFAO. fyl
TheAmazing_fml 0
oh my. poor u. this is going to force u to get a hooker. i strongly suggest u talk with ur wife about this and **** her after u talk.... damn. some ppl cant stand a day.....
NoDontKillMe 19
And that will help...
HurriKaty 4
WTF, since september? You clearly are not in a healthy relationship.