Today, in my 20s, I was so proud that I could squirt and that it tasted sweet, until a one-night-stand told me to get some blood tests. Long story short, I no longer have type 2 diabetes but my squirt tastes like piss. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend dumped me after I told her I found out I have diabetes. She thought it was an STD and I had cheated on her. So I explained what it really was and she dumped me again because she didn't want her future children to inherit my fucked up DNA. FML
Today, I got my annual blood test. The nurse was inexperienced and it took her several tries to insert the needle properly. When I get back home, my fiancé starts yelling at me and storms out. The reason? I am a recovering drug addict and my arm appeared as if I had been shooting up. FML
Today, I drank from a soda can that was on my floor. Unfortunately, it was my boyfriend’s pee. He was too lazy to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
Today, I took a test as part of a job requirement. I took a sip from a bottle of juice, and the lady leading the test gave me a warning. I tried to explain that if I didn't, I would faint. She took the bottle and hid it. 15 minutes later I collapsed. She thought I was faking. I'm hypoglycemic. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my man juice all over me. I'm 40 years-old, and haven’t had a wet dream since my early high school days. The worst part is that the only dream I remember involved going to the DMV. FML
Today, I was hanging with my friends when out of the blue, I got thirsty. Friends said there was Gatorade in the fridge. Being the trusting person I am, I took a drink, only to discover it was piss. FML
Today, my parents sent me to the hospital because they thought I had diabetes. One of the symptoms is that you a pee a lot. The only reason I go to the bathroom so often is so I can masturbate. FML
Today, I found out a recent hook-up, who’d pounded the fuck out of me until I came all over didn’t get uncomfortable and ghost me “because he was just a fuck boy.” It was probably because a noticeable, large part of the sweat/squirt spot on my bed after, was actually my own piss, I just didn’t smell it. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML
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Top comments
tiptoppc 21
Back in the past, doctors used to taste urine to test for diabetes. It literally means “sweet urine” for the word in latin. It might be a disappointment but so is diabetes when it causes major health issues and you didn’t realize you had it. Stay healthy and who cares if your squirts don’t taste sweet. They aren’t meant to be eaten anyways. That’s what the kitty is for…
ellenness 14
oh no! well I'm glad you're keeping healthy...
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Comments (2)
ellenness 14
oh no! well I'm glad you're keeping healthy...
tiptoppc 21
Back in the past, doctors used to taste urine to test for diabetes. It literally means “sweet urine” for the word in latin. It might be a disappointment but so is diabetes when it causes major health issues and you didn’t realize you had it. Stay healthy and who cares if your squirts don’t taste sweet. They aren’t meant to be eaten anyways. That’s what the kitty is for…