Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
Today, I announced to my fiance that I was pregnant with twins. He immediately called off the engagement, furious at me because we "agreed to only have one child". Sorry my embryo decided to split in two. FML
Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML
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Top comments
Thabb 0
Ehhh, your hand isn't THAT bad.
ADayToPierceTheV 0
sounds reasonable
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Comments (442)
EsotericAura 25
Actually it might be sort of possible for that to happen. Sometimes women are born with 2 uterus's and can become pregnant in both (even at the same time). Although even if conceived at the same time the children still technically are not twins.
varkey 7
What do you mean "had the balls to tell you" that? If she doesn't want to, she doesn't want to. Same if you had said you didn't want to, she has to accept that. And sex during pregnancy is just... weird.
pandalecki 3
I would say "oh, God, I hope that woman doesn't breed" but I think my point has been rendered moot...
abasio 1
Is it too late to pull out?
renaee 13
Stupid people shouldn't have kids. You married and reproduced with an uneducated fool. YDI.
jokerpoker 3
You wife has balls?
bagleface 6
Stupid people shouldn't Procreate
EdenLis 14
"had the balls" ? So you're saying its your choice to decide when you two have sex?
emilyrahija21 0
Had sex with a pregnant bitch told my friends I had a threesome.
Rxoxdx 0
Impossible twins need to be conceived at the same time