Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
Today, I announced to my fiance that I was pregnant with twins. He immediately called off the engagement, furious at me because we "agreed to only have one child". Sorry my embryo decided to split in two. FML
Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML
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Top comments
Thabb 0
Ehhh, your hand isn't THAT bad.
ADayToPierceTheV 0
sounds reasonable
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Comments (442)
loganberrybat 11
What do you mean by 'actually had the balls'?! Sex is not a right to be expected by men. She's carrying your baby for gods sake so be a bit more grateful and a bit less selfish
TheTerenity 9
It's not twins if one is born later than the other... Problem Solved?
NewMommy89 3
If she ovulates at any time during her pregnancy she could get pregnant with a 2nd, but they obviously wouldn't be twins. It's rare but happens.
Fuzzymonkey2013 7
You can't fix stupid. Should've married smart
Superllama12 11
If she "had the balls to tell you" that, I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you...
wellnowwhat 6
Okay OP, two things: 1) Your wife's an idiot for believing that sex while pregnant is what causes twins. 2) You sir, are an inconsiderate asshole for believing that your PREGNANT WIFE should still cater to your whims through 9 months of hell. You really think she'll still want to **** you when she's absolutely exhausted ALL the time and her midsection's the size of the average watermelon? YDI OP, **** off.
lil_mars 1
Maybe she just doesn't feel sexy enough to be intimate now that she is carrying. Or maybe she's freaked out by the thought of ******* with a baby inside of her. So she is either retarded or just used a really stupid excuse to say she is uncomfortable.
angrymexicanwee 8
Yup you got the smart one.....
NamelessFace 22
SHE'S the one with balls? Sure it was a dumb thing to say but at least she's not a selfish prick who is getting pissed off that he can't have sex with his wife while she's, oh I dunno, PREGNANT with his CHILD? YDI for being an inconsiderate douchebag.
LyricaSilvan 30
Scientifically, it is possible (if highly unlikely) to get pregnant again while already pregnant. It's weird and difficult to explain, and there's a one-in-a-million chance of it even happening, but it is possible. Her thinking it'd count as twins is still kinda stupid though.