Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
Today, I announced to my fiance that I was pregnant with twins. He immediately called off the engagement, furious at me because we "agreed to only have one child". Sorry my embryo decided to split in two. FML
Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML
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Top comments
Thabb 0
Ehhh, your hand isn't THAT bad.
ADayToPierceTheV 0
sounds reasonable
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Comments (442)
dayummalyssa 0
they're not gonna have twins if they have sex while she's pregnant....
sexy_geek 5
Ur wife is dumb as bricks...sigh people that dumb shouldnt be allowed to have sex!
chahacha599 0
I don't think that's posable
b3dtim3 2
lol @ women talking about it as "self empowering"... you do realize that realtionships don't survive without sex right? OP, if there isn't ANY sex... you really need to tell your wife that there's a problem.
KingAdrock 16
If she is actually saying no to sex because she thinks she can get pregnant... while *already* pregnant; I'd say that's a level of stupid so deep it is divorce-worthy.
anthony99 14
Oh my god, Todd Palin is on FML!!!
iheartroxxi 1
you idiot, your wife is dumb too, but shes also i guess "protecting" the child! if you have intercourse while pregnant the baby can get brain damage. how bout instead of posting on the internet about your wife, you help her understand about being pregnant, and learn something yourself... :/ ass
Bloodandroses13 1
Wait, what?! You're joking right?
nicole32500838 0
well thats kinda idiotic of ur wife cuz its impossible to concive twins by having sex two seperate times
BloodyMary666 24
Wow...no words... And btw: condoms???
Jonpker3 4
Now she gets to find out how much she bitches during pregnancy. dont hold back let her learn her lesson.