Today, I finally found a way to lesser the loneliness in my life. During at least one work or school zoom meeting a day, I "pin" a random female attendee's screen. That way, I can pretend we're staring into each others eyes the whole time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I felt so lonely that I went on an online chat website and pretended to be a girl just so someone would talk to me. FML
Today, I was trying to flirt with someone in a small bar. I thought they'd smiled at me, so I smiled back. Turns out, they were smiling at their phone screen. I just awkwardly sat there, smiling into the void. FML
Today, I realized the extent of my crush on one of my employees when I found myself cropping our picture out of the staff photo to see what we would look like as a couple. FML
Today, I tried to overcome my crippling social anxiety and isolation by joining a club at the campus I attend remotely. Two girls at my table whispered and giggled the entire time, and one of them kept popping her lips like Donkey in the carriage scene in Shrek every few seconds. I left early with a migraine. FML
Today, I finally met the guy I've been getting to know online in person for a date. When we saw each other, we both realized that we had heavily Facetuned our profile pictures. The awkward silence that followed was the longest five minutes of my life. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML
Today, my husband said a cheery, "Hi!" to me after 4 hours of nonstop Zoom calls. I spun around happily and greeted him back. Turns out he just joined another Zoom call. FML
Today, I met a girl who was just as socially anxious as me. We spent the whole night staring at each other, then quickly looking away when the other person saw. FML
Today, I was sat in front of my computer, waiting for a Zoom meeting with my coworkers to start. I started doing interpretive dance arm movements to the jazzy funky hold music. Turns out that the camera wasn’t off, and everyone was silently watching me. FML
Today, I was on Skype with the guy I like. After a while of being on Facebook I forgot I was on webcam to him and started picking my nose. He ended the call. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
21st century Ted Bundy. Knock it off with the creepy stuff, dude.
SJKatt 15
Gross, lol. I guess it's almost a victimless crime but it really suggests a lot of other "pushing boundaries" kind of behavior. Currently harmless, but hilariously creepy.
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Comments (7)
BurnInDemonFire 39
21st century Ted Bundy. Knock it off with the creepy stuff, dude.
RichardPencil 32
That is so sad and pathetic. What's even more sad and pathetic is that I'll probably start trying that. :(
SJKatt 15
Gross, lol. I guess it's almost a victimless crime but it really suggests a lot of other "pushing boundaries" kind of behavior. Currently harmless, but hilariously creepy.
Ambrily 27
Dude, that's creepy af.
icalledhisname 12
Time for you to get into watching video game live streams or art live streams. It’s not the same, but, there’s a bit of consent there. Streamers play or make art, expecting people to watch and hang out.
Aurora25 29
thats creepy as **** man.. no wonder you're alone!
sirrubberduckie 37
*old man voice* Back in my day, Sonny, when you pinned a girl, it meant you were going steady.