Today, my very drunk mom called me to confess that she was the girl that my boyfriend left me for two years ago. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML
Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML
Today, after a long time convincing my parents that my boyfriend is really a good guy, not only did he decide to come by the house completely drunk, but he also ended up trying to kiss my mom, thinking it was me. FML
Today, I had to get my boyfriend's mom to help me get my boyfriend in his house because he was so drunk. He broke up with me for getting him in trouble. FML
Today, my mom called me to tell me she'd got in touch with my ex for his birthday, and that the two of them had made a plan for us to get back together. My new boyfriend was in the process of proposing to me. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend called saying she wants to get back together because of how mature and sincere I sounded last night. I despise her and I was drunk last night. FML
Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML
Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML
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Top comments
Roskosity 22
But it is her fault that she's a backstabbing ****.
aliciaanomalyyxo 12
That's ****** up!!
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Comments (58)
lilledun 11
I really hope you find a descent boyfriend the next time, and also that your mother grows up. **** your life, OP, noone should go through a broken heart caused by their mother.
rg350dx 29
I don't know why he has to be a descent boyfriend. I mean, don't get me wrong, I have nothing against skydivers or spelunkers.
Axipiter 24
I was thinking she just wanted someone who went down on his girlfriend. I think you one-upped me. Well done!
mollyjynxjax 28
Honestly, I'm thinking this is just an auto-correct fail...
gracehi 33
^ NOOOOO. Really? You think so?
lilledun 11
Haha, it took me a while to figure out your comment, #24. Well played!
chosha_fml 27
#24 I wish I could up-vote that twice. :)
beneathitallxx 15
No morals. that is a shame! Sorry to hear though! :(
slkester 12
Wow, um maybe., yeah there isn't any defense to that. I am sorry. Your boyfriend sunk pretty low and your mom well I think skankenstein and twatwaffle are appropriate.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Oh wow, that is just SO twisted. But then again OP. she was drunk. Are you sure she was just not simply talking BS?
perdix 31
Loose lips sink ships, and it looks like your mom on alcohol has several pair.
avapaige1234 19
Alcohol comes in, truth comes out.
ManInTheMachine 20
Be the better person. Tell her that you're disappointed in her, and that you thought she was better than that. Do NOT retaliate, despite what some comments above (or below, inevitably) may say. You'll feel like an ass later. The guilt she will feel post-hangover will be the best revenge you can get.
Enslaved 38
Hopefully the guilt won't cause the mom to drown out remorse with more alcohol. I've seen similar things happen with those results.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Your mom is a ****-muffin.
Dallasluver19 14
That bastard.
Jharrist89 12
That's a door you cannot close once opened.. Sorry op.