Today, my ex-girlfriend called saying she wants to get back together because of how mature and sincere I sounded last night. I despise her and I was drunk last night. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, for the first time in two years, I met my ex-girlfriend. I was drunk. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend from two years ago called and asked to come over. Still being in love with him, I agreed to see him but decided I wasn't drunk enough to handle the stress. After a while of drinking, he said that he really missed me and wanted to be with me. My reply consisted of throwing up. FML
Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML
Today, my very drunk mom called me to confess that she was the girl that my boyfriend left me for two years ago. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML
Today, I called off my engagement with my now ex-girlfriend. Yesterday, while drunk at a get-together with all our friends, she admitted she's still in love with her best friend, and only went out with me to forget about him, but is still pining for him anyway. She doesn't understand why that factoid might upset me. FML
Today, I realized that the only time my girlfriend ever calls me is when she's drunk. FML
Today, I had a rare phone call from my ex-girlfriend. We ended up talking for hours about old times. It was the best conversation we have had in forever, it made me miss her and miss us. Later on in the day, she called back asking what we talked about. She was too high too remember. FML
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
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Top comments
Dat_Class_Tho 26
One of the many reasons why you shouldn't drunk-dial. Unless you meant you were speaking to her in person last night. In that case, why the hell were you hanging out with someone you "despise"? Either way, you're still responsible for the things that the drunk version of you did/said. If she got the wrong idea from drunk-you about getting back together, YDI.
chirstinap325 23
How fun. Drunk version you wasn't acting a total knob despite despising her, so that Must mean you like her still.
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Comments (19)
dakid87 10
Drunk words are really sober thoughts
Wizardo 34
Sounds like the more absinthe minded you are, the better you are to your ex.
fyvaprold 11
Absinthe makes heart grow fonder
bruhhhhhhh 14
Lots of things we don't mean come out when we're drunk but in all seriousness if you don't like her tell her before she thinks she still has a chance
gichikku 14
Pretty sure she already thinks that haha
Dat_Class_Tho 26
One of the many reasons why you shouldn't drunk-dial. Unless you meant you were speaking to her in person last night. In that case, why the hell were you hanging out with someone you "despise"? Either way, you're still responsible for the things that the drunk version of you did/said. If she got the wrong idea from drunk-you about getting back together, YDI.
chirstinap325 23
How fun. Drunk version you wasn't acting a total knob despite despising her, so that Must mean you like her still.
Seabass_Chan 33
Or, assuming he didn't drunk dial her, they ran into one another at an event and he was just in a happy mood? Possibly over not dating someone he hates? People say things all the time when they're drunk that don't necessarily have to be secret truths.
mikethekid07 13
two types of people who tell the truth kids and drunk people accept it OP deep down you may still have feelings for her
cocacola999 27
Despising someone you were once with seems like a terribly strong emotion. Unless she cheated or did something equally horrible, I don't really understand it.
tomatosz 23
Actually, sometimes it's easier to switch from one strong feeling to another than to chance to a moderate feeling, no matter how irrational. For instance I can't get really mad at someone unless they're really close to me.
bigbadbarley 1
Wow she sounds insane. What a crazy bitch.
funkiestginger 2
You deserved it and more - you can't play with people's feelings. Being drunk is a crap excuse!
manuwish 9
something inside you wanted contact with her. You don't have to get back with her, tell her she is right, you have become more mature and come to the conclusion that you are better off without her. Take care OP