Today, my very drunk mom called me to confess that she was the girl that my boyfriend left me for two years ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML
Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML
Today, after a long time convincing my parents that my boyfriend is really a good guy, not only did he decide to come by the house completely drunk, but he also ended up trying to kiss my mom, thinking it was me. FML
Today, I had to get my boyfriend's mom to help me get my boyfriend in his house because he was so drunk. He broke up with me for getting him in trouble. FML
Today, my mom called me to tell me she'd got in touch with my ex for his birthday, and that the two of them had made a plan for us to get back together. My new boyfriend was in the process of proposing to me. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend called saying she wants to get back together because of how mature and sincere I sounded last night. I despise her and I was drunk last night. FML
Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML
Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML
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Top comments
Roskosity 22
But it is her fault that she's a backstabbing ****.
aliciaanomalyyxo 12
That's ****** up!!
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Comments (58)
iheartkanye 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Not her fault she's a MILF.
Roskosity 22
But it is her fault that she's a backstabbing ****.
Ambient25 25
It's downright awful to backstab family members, especially with their partners/love interests. Her mom has quite a bit of explaining to do.
bubble_burst 16
in this case MILF is an acronym for Mine Is a Life ******....
DyslexicPanda 12
Pretty sure you wouldn't call her a "mine is a life ******"...? O.o nor did anyone use it in that context.
aliciaanomalyyxo 12
That's ****** up!!
RedPillSucks 33
She certainly was
Trickiest_K 9
That's pretty rough...
LeeCards 8
Just the way she liked it
Cbizzlez 10
Those damn cougars, always on the prowl for that fresh meat
shelbzlynn 14
You didn't even realize they got together after you broke up?
omg36 7
They probably didn't "get together" most likely just had some more sex after that until she got bored. Cougars don't "get together"
shelbzlynn 14
True, although not always the case haha
kpc2424 13
No kidding! Two years and it never occurred to you?
jojj351 12
i saw this in a movie once
jojj351 12
Naw it was called no strings attatched
fml121785 14
Make her feel like shit about it, apparently she pursued him too or else she would have stopped it from the beginning!
fakkumairaifu 14
Lucky you! Time for mom to buy back you affection! What a betrayal. She may be your flesh and blood, but that shit doesn't fly any more. Be sure and make her sorry.
bluehero 17
Doesn't fly anymore? Do you mean it used to be okay to sleep with your daughter's boyfriend?
rg350dx 29
Yeah, they sent out a memo about a month ago. Didn't you get it? Ill have it faxed over to you. It went something along the lines of.."Yeah, we've come to the conclusion that banging your daughter's boyfriend is a pretty scummy move. So if you could cut that out that'd be great. Yeah." Also, #7 your profile pic is what I imagine OP's reaction was.
Cian_1 28
I will never understand how relatives, especially parents, can do such a thing to their relatives. There really is no excuse for such behaviour! Also, who would want to be intimate with someone, who'd been intimate with their daughter/son. The very thought is kinda vile!
Qualdog12 12
*behavior
bamagrl410 31
It's spelled differently in other countries, 79.
JLangel94 6
Sorry to hear that hey, makes me angry reading this! The things I'd do to my PARTNER & MOTHER if this ever happened to me.
R00ST3R 12
Jerry, Jerry, Jerry