Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my vegan girlfriend openly admitted that she'd let me die if she had to choose between saving my life or an animal's. She actually seemed confused as to why that upset me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he would leave me if I didn't seek help for my eating disorder. The eating disorder in question? Vegetarianism. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? Because I became a vegetarian. Apparently, he doesn't believe in "not eating meat." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the sauce he made for our dinner that was meat-based, trying to show me how nice meat is and stop me being a weirdo vegan. The reason I’m vegan is because my digestive system can’t handle animal protein. I’m writing this from the bathroom, vomiting myself to death. FML
Today, after being a vegetarian for 5 years, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has secretly been feeding me meat. His reason is that he thinks it's "funny" that I still call myself a vegetarian afterwards. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, my boyfriend spent half his paycheck on gourmet steaks, bacon, and all sorts of other meat. When I reminded him we were trying to go meatless to help the planet, he said, "Yeah, I'm done with that. The planet can burn." We'd only been vegan three days. FML
Today, I asked my friend if he’d ever consider going vegan, like me. His response was, and I quote, “Ew, no, I’d rather get shot! How dare you even ask?” A simple “No thanks, I’m not interested” would’ve done just fine, bro. FML
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Top comments
LegendaryJacob7 7
But humans are animals. No?
BRLHP 24
I wonder what his choice would be if it was his life or the cats.
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Comments (128)
untouchable763 10
"boyfriend"
AholeCop 11
After reading this, I imagine Hans Gruber with a gun in his hand telling your boyfriend, "Shoot your girlfriend or your cat. If you do not, I will shoot them both."
Schizomaniac 24
How does this conversation even come up? I'm going to start telling similar things to acquaintances to see if this is acceptable. Coworker: How was your weekend, Elijah? Me: If I had to murder you or my pet, I would choose you. Coworker: ( ._.)
Schizomaniac 24
You've never brought me breakfast, liar.
license2chill 5
If i were you I'd dump his ass, can't stand that kind of idiot
Schizomaniac 24
Yeah, me either. I much prefer other kinds of idiots.
kevsandy303 12
I'd almost rather date a YOLO idiot... Well maybe not... Hm... It's a toss up for me...
twiztedone 19
Sounds like he's not too protective of his mate! Hell most animals would give themselves for their mate but not him, so leave him!
twiztedone 19
I'm getting thumbs down for saying basically the same thing others are, yet they're getting thumbs up! Nice! Like I said before dump his ass!
robo_thunder 13
Well... at least you can say he is dedicated?
empath 20
You rarely ever hear vegans bring up conversation topics where they're the murderer. If you're not a vegan as well this would be a great thing to bring up the next time he's on a "meat is murder" kick.
Nirah_fml 18
YDI for dating a vegan lol Vegetarians? Sure. Vegans? They're just bat shit crazy and your boyfriend's just proven it to you
N3766 20
I am a vegetarian and I find this very offensive :( You judge a whole population of vegan and vegetarian because of a person?
Nirah_fml 18
No, I have sisters and friends who are vegetarians, thus why I said vegetarians are fine:, because I've known them and liked them. I've also known several vegans, but none of them are friends. There's a reason for that. Of course there are always exceptions, but the stereotype of vegans being jerks/crazy exists for a reason. Also, why is it my problem if you're offended? I'm not in charge of controlling your emotions for you
N3766 20
Sorry I didn't read it properly....., my bad. Is it your problem? :/
A7XCamaro 19
Never mind, other replies didn't show up until I added my comment.
a1f0sff 25
So you're saying, 37, that if your sisters were vegan you'd stop being their friend?
MissAmz 7
No, he's saying that the vegans that he's met have turned out to be batshit crazy.
a1f0sff 25
He said the vegan people he knows aren't his friends for a reason. He made it sound that it was because they are vegan.
TheDrifter 24
If one of your friends turned into a raving lunatic, constantly shouting at you for not believing in their cult and insulting your food choices, would they still be your friend? I didn't think so. That is why vegans and omnivores do not often socialize.
AliceLockehart 18
I'm Vegan & I don't *think* I'm batshit insane. It's not up to me to make other people's dietary choices for them, so what right do I have to criticize any of you for eating meat? I may not want to partake in that, but I'm not going to try & force my choices onto anyone else. It's vegans like OP's boy friend that makes the rest of us look crazy, not all vegans are like that.
Pyapi 20
You, my friend, are the exception which he is referring too. Although to be honest I've met a few of those exceptions myself, so I don't think you guys are THAT rare. It's just the idiots tend to show off more and sadly give a bad reputation to everything :/
xgetxbentx 13
You may want to point out to him that TECHNICALLY humans are animals as well. We're homosapiens.
Ayanpatel95 7
at least he didn't call u an animal
A7XCamaro 19
Yes, because nothing would be farther from the truth than to call a human an animal.
21cowsdig 2
I know bottom class students in my year who aren't as idiotic as you.