Today, I caught a ride with a coworker in their new Mercedes. They spent the drive passionately talking about how it made them a better driver and all the people that say otherwise are idiots. After running three stop signs and nearly sideswiping a minivan, I decided to walk the last mile. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I proudly drove my new car to work, feeling on top of the world. As I parked, I noticed everyone in the lot staring at me. I smiled and waved, thinking they were admiring my car. It wasn't until I got to my desk that my boss informed me I'd dragged an orange traffic cone under my car the entire way to the office. FML
Today, I spent hours arguing with my mother, who claimed I shouldn't make a three-hour drive because I wouldn't be able to concentrate for that long. I argued that I was a perfectly capable driver, and left. In the last two minutes of the journey, I hit a van, and messed up the front of my car. FML
Today, I backed into an expensive SUV only minutes after my boss congratulated me for being the only employee to not wreck a company car. FML
Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML
Today, while I was driving, I saw my driving instructor from high school walking on the sidewalk. As I waved to him, I rear-ended the car in front of me. Guess I really showed him how much I learned from him. FML
Today, I gave my boss a ride home from work. I had my phone on hands-free mode, so all calls would come through on speaker. I got a call from the new job I was applying at, with my boss listening to each word. FML
Today, I agreed to go on a bike ride with my boss, even though I think he's crazy. We rode for a few miles, then he decided it was time to merge onto the freeway. FML
Today, while driving to work, I stopped to let an old man cross the street. The driver behind me honked their horn, so I drove slow to piss them off. A few turns later, I pulled into the car park and noticed the other driver following me. She works in the office next to mine. We met the other day. FML
Today, a learner driver was practicing maneuvers in the parking lot at work. This happens a lot, and my colleagues and I usually have fun watching and laughing. It was all fun and games as usual, until the learner crashed into my car. FML
Today, I was arguing in the car with my boyfriend about who was the better driver. Being so incensed by the fact that he thought he was better made me completely zone out, and run a red light. FML
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Top comments
MannyWasHere 12
Can’t even imagine how they drove their last car...
RichardPencil 32
It takes a lot of skill to “nearly” side-swipe a minivan and blowing through stop signs makes for a smoother ride. You sound like an ad for Mercedes.
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Comments (10)
MannyWasHere 12
Can’t even imagine how they drove their last car...
RichardPencil 32
It takes a lot of skill to “nearly” side-swipe a minivan and blowing through stop signs makes for a smoother ride. You sound like an ad for Mercedes.
Mungolikecandy 19
That probably is them being a better driver. In the U.K. if you see someone in an expensive German made car then by default they are expected to drive like an idiot.
MATTY2512 15
Probably a B or a C class driver, they always think they’re hot s*** even though they drive the bargain-basement Benz.
Akitakat 31
You got IN the car... enough said.
Akitakat 31
You got In the car...enough said.