Anonymous
United States
Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
DeadScared
Canada
Good to know
Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML
Anonymous
Minneapolis, United States
Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML
Anonymous
Walsall, United Kingdom
Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML
zombieguyswife
Branson, United States
Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML
Abendigo77
Healdsburg, United States
Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML
sabrinatarmine_
Carmel Valley, United States
Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML
TBTC
Le G?vre, France
Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML
purged
Mechanicsville, United States
Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML
drake86
Helensburgh, United Kingdom
Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML
scaredy cat
Wuss
Today, my boyfriend is completely obsessed with zombie and horror movies. I don’t care what he watches, the only problem is the big wuss has horrible thrashing nightmares. Last night he thrashed so hard, he elbowed me in the face. I have a big swollen purple knot right on my forehead. FML
Top comments
damienwatkins 0
how cute
Rota 0
That's love.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (278)
damienwatkins 0
how cute
warrenx16x 0
forget her bro... trust me there's more girls out there and plus no relationship lasts for ever.
Phil_McCracken 0
#6: OP is a girl.
XxBlackamusPrime 5
at least he cares?
Tripout 0
#6 talks as if he has STDs
Tripout 0
for those that do not understand saying that #6 sounds as he gets around. that's all. don't strain yourself.
Rocco1990 0
It was obviously a joke. As usual some people take it to seriously. In the case it would happen, it's either kill yourself or let the infection settle and walk for eternity as a zombie. Maybe he's an avid zombie film watcher. Theres tons of unknown ones.
yzaldana 0
I wish I can like this FML ;D
hamada008 0
wow what exactly were you two talking about?????? it's weird, but funny
haydenshaw 0
nerd
uranidiot84 0
if that's not love I don't know what is!
hellokittywhore 0
it's adorable I would find that kinda romantic but then again I would wanna see some zombies ^__^
kemar7856 0
I hope he remembers to double tap Rule #3
snakrange 0
win.
shiznutmuffin 0
ydi for going out with a moron like that
tman118 0
that's not really a joke. I take zombies pretty seriously
masterrbASIAN 0
that's funny, me n my bf were arguing where we'd stay during the apacolypse... SAMs club
ffmmllyaya 0
awww that's so cute
nanerjl 0
not a bad strategy
BannedStory 0
epic fail
crazytoaster 2
Actually, there is a series of plausible scientific explanations as to why a zombie apocalypse, or at least a plague that resembles a zombie apocalypse. Rather than walk around as a zombie, or with an incurable disease that makes me act like a zombie, i would prefer to be shot or blown up. Preferably exploding something giving the rest of the survivors time to get away.
pwned613 0
lol your boy friend is funny
beachballa93 0
Ha he has the right idea.
flamiingemu 0
he Shula follo the rule: don't be a hero. #146 kudos on the zombieland reference :p
s_t_e_p_h 0
that's totally a compliment! I'd want nothing more from my boyfriend!
HoDaddyKatelyn 1
#175 that's exactly where me and my sister said we would hide! :D
christyxbee 15
He's a keeper!
Rota 0
That's love.
Starfire22 5
True love, he's a keeper!
Hanban 0
He truly loves you and will be hurt to see you trip, get trampled by zombies, and slowly eat the flesh out of you. But couldn't he have waited until at least you got infected? I smell anxiety here.
idkweird 0
This. He loves you!
CyclonePsycho 1
I thought he meant "I would harm you before someone else harms you," as in the chances of a zombie attacking you are slimmer than him ever killing you. As in, he'll protect you from all zombies. Kind of like saying "pigs will fly before I ever become president." I thought he was being sweet. ...Am I reaching a little too high? @_#
hobojo11 0
if i were a zomby id eat your brains first
rogeriskira 5
ing awesome lmfao
rogeriskira 5
omg* ... he must love you
Emobuddy 4
he rox!
Jimboom 12
Awww. Thats one of the sweetest things I have ever hear. :-P Return the sentiment and tell your boyfriend that if zombies ever did attack that you would take him out with a chainsaw to the brain while he was sleep. ;0)
insidejokeswithm 0
Asleep*
flgirlwguitar 2
He was trying to be funny and it didn't work. Get used to it - guys do that.
rogeriskira 5
I would totally do that . lolz it's to not cause her pain ^.^
pariah13 0
"more brains!"
Buffel 0
I just hope someone sends more paramedics.
Angel_Vice 0
And then, more cops.
afarr 0
maibeh s0m3 m0r3 c0ps?
Buffel 0
To OP: It's obvious that he loves you. That's why you have to let him EAT YOUR BRAINS!
ohgoshfylsrsly 0
FML? How so? That's very sweet
MoonyIce 0
Wow. Someone needs to develop a sense of humour ... or maybe kill off her need for drama. ((You.))
KurouTenshi 0
this
shoguu 0
agreed- this
keoct 4
I work with a guy that has a zombie shelter in his basement. Floor to ceiling of canned food as well as knifes, crossbows, and rifles, in the corner is a picture of a “zombie” that he uses as a target. Yes he is serous and yes I’ve seen it.
Tripout 0
TAT GUY IS ME
Tripout 0
ewwie typo. THAT*
Tripout 0
WTF WHERES MY OTHER COMMENT. IT WAS HERE A MIN AGO
Tripout 0
anyways I wrote: THAT GUY IS ME.
flavormyheart 0
win :D
Cathryne_R 0
thats afuckinmazing
Jenmaree 9
You may scoff now, but when the zombies come, you'll be awishin you had a food and weapons cache...
ichikibobivopula 0
that's pretty sick.
brenkite 5
sounds like me
brenkite 5
me = redneck
frosh2 9
I need a zombie shelter myself
sharpiebandit 0
You would rather be a mindless zombie?