Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML
Today, I was babysitting my little cousin when we decided to go outside and have a "treasure hunt" in the backyard. The first thing we found? The bones of her pet dog who had passed away four years ago. FML
Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said, "Avada kedavra!" She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML
Today, our family cat died. He had a disease (forget the name). My sister brought home a bunny, and I thought nothing of it until I tried to make the cat and the bunny friends. Sadly, it triggered his illness from stress, and he tragically passed away 4 days later. I still believe it's my fault; everyone says otherwise. FML
Today, I pulled off the road to help a turtle cross it. Before I could get out of my car a dump truck ran over the turtle, splattering my car with turtle guts and bits of shell. FML
Today, my 9 year-old little sister is coming back to town with the rest of my family. She specifically asked me to feed her fish. I totally forgot until she called me 10 minutes ago to tell me she was on her way home and couldn't wait to see her fishie. He's dead. FML
Today, I told my daughter that we were going to the beach. Today, my daughter also tried to dig up our deceased dog, who we buried in our back yard last week, so he could come along. FML
Today, I was mowing my lawn when I lost control along our lawn borders and ran over one of my neighbor’s many garden gnomes. It exploded into a pile of ceramic. I soon discovered it was a limited edition collector's item when the neighbor came out just in time to see me turning her prized lawn decoration into shards. FML
Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML
Today, my dog showed me her latest kill. Too bad it was the stuffed animals my dead grandmother had given me as a child that had a lot of sentimental value to me. FML
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Top comments
gigi96 2
Be like a flower and chuck fire at her
BoW2Me 0
Actually, it didn't die. It escaped in time and left another turtle in its place, for it was a ninja. And a mutant. And a teenager.
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Comments (241)
UnicornInSpace 6
omg, I think I just peed myself
skyeyez9 25
I hope his parents beat ass and buy you another female turtle.
RendarSelin 5
Reminds me of the drunk guy that threw his hamster in a hamster ball and yelled "I choose you Pikachu!" RIP poor turtle...
ilovefall10 21
I am oddly reminded of that one Robot Chicken sketch. The one where Mario and Luigi are in GTA. And Mario steps on a little girl's turtle. But seriously, I like turtles man. So I feel for you.
lemonarm 18
Poor little guy, same thing happened to me except it was my 15 year old ex boyfriend.
shizzlemonkeys 5
awww. cute
thetoxiclion 4
.....You did slap him, Right?
vbmg152 19
Your nephew needs his ass beat! Mark my words, you'll be going to see him in prison! Most likely on death row! People like that become serial killers!
FandJ76 1
I just asked my four year old (just turned four 3 months ago) if there was a turtle walking on the ground would she jump on it. Her response, "Nooooo!" so I asked why is it bad to jump on a turtle like Mario and she got mad and said "because it will DIE! Mario not real". I gave her a hug and told her I was proud of her. My four year old knows better.... I hope this little boy felt bad when he saw the consequences of his actions. Poor turtle :(
skyeyez9 25
Your daughter is how most kids would react, they naturally love animals. OP's nephew has no conscience and is a heartless bastard.
meeeaner_th 16
This made me sadder than it probably should have. Poor turtle :(