Today, I was mowing my lawn when I lost control along our lawn borders and ran over one of my neighbor’s many garden gnomes. It exploded into a pile of ceramic. I soon discovered it was a limited edition collector's item when the neighbor came out just in time to see me turning her prized lawn decoration into shards. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought a garden gnome to spice up my lawn. Tonight, someone threw it right through my living room window. Not only will the repairs cost a ton, my neighbor keeps saying stupid shit to me, like "You must be shattered" and "Looks like you ain't got a window gnome... more." FML
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, while I was mowing the lawn in my backyard, I ran over a glass bottle. My legs looked like a disco ball. FML
Today, I heard water dripping at the back of our house. I went to investigate, only to find a man peeing on our garden gnome. FML
Today, my neighbor waved at me while he mowing his lawn. Wanting to be friendly, I waved back. In doing so I tripped on the curb, fell onto my own trash can, and rolled halfway into the street. He didn’t stop mowing. FML
Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML
Today, I ran over a newspaper with the lawnmower, instantly volunteering myself to pick up confetti for hours. FML
Today, I was helping a friend redecorate. She had put up some shelving, that we presumed was stable. It broke, and all the expensive vases and collectables fell to the floor. On instinct, I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML
Today, I found the $3,200 engagement ring I dropped in my yard. I ran over it with my lawnmower. FML
Today, I was mowing my yard when I hit a small rock, which hit my shed. I got done mowing and realized that it wasn't a small rock, it was my son's toy plyers and it wasn't my shed, it was my car window, which had shattered on impact. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
stickyface 17
That's unfortunate, but why would someone display a collectible mere feet from a neighbor's mowed grass?
d j mom 9
how do you lose control of a lawn mower? you hated that gnome and aimed for it... the mower would stop moving the moment your grip came off.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (4)
stickyface 17
That's unfortunate, but why would someone display a collectible mere feet from a neighbor's mowed grass?
Lost Reggie 22
If it was prized and valued, it wouldn't be out in the garden.
d j mom 9
how do you lose control of a lawn mower? you hated that gnome and aimed for it... the mower would stop moving the moment your grip came off.
GoogieWithers 25
Did the gnome jump in front if the mower?