Today, a man on the subway serenaded me. That's not the issue. He was cross-eyed, making it hard for me not to laugh in his face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML
Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML
Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs. It was the best compliment I've received in months. FML
Today, I was on the subway head bobbing to my favorite track when the guy across from me gets up, punches me in the face and says, "Don't nod at my wife like that." FML
Today, I made eye contact with a cute guy from across a packed train. He then yelled out, in front of everyone, "You've got foam on your nose!" FML
Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML
Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML
Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML
Today, while waiting on the platform, a blind man asked out loud for some help getting into the subway car. I helped him through the doors and into a seat. I decided to sit down as well. Twenty minutes later, I realized I was on the wrong subway line. FML
Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
marinus_fml 20
Forever alone doesn't mind being serenaded by creeps on the train. It's also pretty rude to laugh at people with disabilities. There's a special place in hell for people like you. Lol jokes! You have every right to laugh at a creeper trying to creep you up in a subway, especially if they're cockeyed! Besides, he was probably looking at the person next to you.
ohmandapants 17
Seriously OP? You're an immature bitch. You find it funny that this poor man is cross-eyed? Well then I guess the only reason he serenaded you was because he couldn't see you properly. Doesn't feel good to be made fun of does it? Laugh because he's serenading you, don't laugh 'cause he's cross-eyed.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (122)
marinus_fml 20
Forever alone doesn't mind being serenaded by creeps on the train. It's also pretty rude to laugh at people with disabilities. There's a special place in hell for people like you. Lol jokes! You have every right to laugh at a creeper trying to creep you up in a subway, especially if they're cockeyed! Besides, he was probably looking at the person next to you.
Halz7 6
Funny lol
br0ccoli 15
I thumbed up just because you took us on a journey and then made a u-turn. I lol'd shamefully when you said he was looking at someone else. Smh, giggle giggle.
Pentium_4 27
and probably the longest 1st comment ever
mduffy08 8
She doesn't deserve it, this shit is funny
ilovedinosawers 17
Idiot
tjv3 10
OP you are a horrible person
realizment 0
Cuckoo
Plastic_Stitchez 25
Excuse me you stupid douche bag,it doesn't matter if the person looks funny it's not like he can help the whole cross-eyes fact and did you ever think he was trying to make the persons day like fuuuuu
qazaq 1
He could be serenading the person next to you...
charlotte69er 7
Wow ^ ur hot (;
TDWPForDayz 9
I can't handle this comment omg lmaooooo
Vertas 10
Was he at least a good singer?
friedchickenpie 14
Not to start anything here, but I'd like to express my disappointment in that confederate flag.
davidbdb485 0
There's nothing wrong necessarily with confederacies... And confederate flag does not equal racist bigot if that's what you were going for. Not trying to start anything either just think we should be fair to the poster.
williamcarter93 13
Confederacy doesn't mean bigoted. I am a negro and I know some folks who wave the stars and bars and they don't hate me (or at least are very good at hiding it).
betseyville 6
Negro??? Is it 1953? I didn't think people even used that word anymore.
benhd1 14
The Spanish? When saying the colour black?
aksweetheart 7
85- a million likes to you, and a million dislikes to 78!
shahroni1 3
he must be gay .
LaughinStock 16
The **** 4? How did you come up with that conclusion?
THE_A_TEEN 28
What's wrong with being gay #4? *prepares the wooden bat Tell me.
ShyAnn29 15
Since when does being cross eyed make a person gay?
Crystal55621 19
4, you must be a dumbass.
Doxy 22
Obviously the guy was gay, he did after all serenade a girl.
ragingdepression 4
What the hell is wrong with you? he sings you a song and all you can think of is oh man his eyes you dumb idiot.
shahroni1 3
or you made him to get attracted towards you .
KeyboardWarrior 10
Quit while you're ahead.
ADuckOnQuack_fml 0
So... A random guy serenaded you on the subway... And "that wasn't the issue"?
xXxIracebethxXx 14
Well, it does say that in the FML. I believe the actual issue was said in the third sentence. Glad I can help. *sarcasm*
dontpanic_fml 32
14, are you stupid or do you just play it on the Internet?
desireev 18
No, she's just completely hateful with everything she says...
SobrietyKills 14
14 - bam! Duck hunt
ladyLALAA 29
Wow 14, thank you for pointing out your sarcasm. You are so kind.
ohmandapants 17
Seriously OP? You're an immature bitch. You find it funny that this poor man is cross-eyed? Well then I guess the only reason he serenaded you was because he couldn't see you properly. Doesn't feel good to be made fun of does it? Laugh because he's serenading you, don't laugh 'cause he's cross-eyed.
marinus_fml 20
So you're suggesting her ugly personality automatically means that she is also ugly physically?
ohmandapants 17
Read the next sentence. It was said to prove a point. I dont know OP, I don't know what she looks like. But hasn't it ever happened to you, where you met an incredibly attractive person, and as soon as you got to know them, they suddenly looked ugly due to their horrible personality?
marinus_fml 20
Haha yeah I've had that before actually. Good point. I had that with #18(: Badum tsss :P
ohmandapants 17
It's ok, I'm sure many women have felt the same way about you. Of course, I'm basing this on the way you speak to me. You're so classy.
marinus_fml 20
Jeeez lighten up. I especially put two happy smileys in that comment to suggest I wasn't being so serious.
lolipop1234_fml 7
It's not her fault she laughed. Laughing is a nervous response in some circumstances. I know here she laughed at the man being cross eyed but you cannot choose when and when not to laugh.
MissHayleyJames 7
Hey Marinus is a nice guy. I've seen plenty of his comments and he's one of the few good ones left. And you can't really control your laughter. The best you can do is turn it into a coughing fit and hope no one notices. Doesn't make someone a bitch.
Pentium_4 27
believe it or not, even to us horny guys, personality is key. i've known extremely attractive women that have an ugly personality, therefore they aren't attractive. as long as you are at least a little physically attracted to them but their personality is amazing, they will become more physically attractive. doesn't work the other way around though
benhd1 14
Wow just... wow Maybe OP is a nervous laugher, and someone singing to you on public transport is definitely very nerve racking, not to mention that this person was cross-eyed and if OP is in a relationship and she has to say no if he asks her out he may just call her shallow because of him being cross-eyed, and then pretty much everyone on the train would agree and op is in a shit situation; that'd make me very nervous. Feel free to disregard this, as I know you almost definitely will. Good day.
lolipop1234_fml 7
86- :) thank you for existing :)
wittygirl 8
Well #26 I do that. I laugh when I'm in trouble and I'm being lectured. I can't help it either drives my bosses and parents looney. - shrugs- no ones perfect.
Kitty_Kat16 16
some things are hard not to laugh even if they are politically incorrect if something's funny its funny period ell me you've never laughed at a racist joke or video as long as you don't express you're feelings or treat them any different your doing nothing wrong you're thoughts are you're thoughts not something to be monitored by society
Emma Marshall 19
Wow that burn.... 😐
mjoyn98 1
F your life? The poor man is cross-eyed and was being sweet. Who says he was even serenading you if you couldn't see where we was looking.
dabomb1463 0
A random guy serenading you that doesn't happen very often so you shouldn't have laughed until he was gone.