Today, I pulled off the road to help a turtle cross it. Before I could get out of my car a dump truck ran over the turtle, splattering my car with turtle guts and bits of shell. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while on the road, I saw a turtle in the middle of the other lane. I slammed on my brakes and got out, holding up, and pissing off, several drivers on both sides of the highway. Getting closer to the turtle, I realized that it was not a turtle at all, but a very large pile of dog shit. FML
Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML
Today, I saw a poor helpless cat in the middle of the road while driving. I pulled over and scooped it in my arms to bring it to safety. Not only did I get mauled and scratched by the cat, my car also wasn't put in park and rolled away hitting a parked car. FML
Today, while driving, I put on my hazards and slowed to a stop to let a family of geese cross the street. The pick-up truck behind me however, decided to change lanes and speed off, running over at least half of them. FML
Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML
Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML
Today, while driving home, I swerved to avoid turning a duck and her babies into roadkill. Another car was coming around a sharp bend at the time and swerved to avoid hitting me. In the end, we both ran our cars off the road, and he took out several ducks in the process. FML
Today, while going for a walk, I saw two bunnies next to the road. Apparently, I was scarier than the oncoming traffic, because one of them decided to sprint into the road as I walked by. I could hear its bones crunch as it got hit by a car. FML
Today, I swerved to miss hitting a kitten, over-corrected, hit and killed the cat, and totaled my truck by hitting a parked car. FML
Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my new car. FML
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Top comments
chitochito 17
Looks like he'll burn in shell.
CryingPotato 7
Looks like you were too slow heheh... I'll leave now
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Comments (95)
xlasxtchanxce13 22
Could've been a red she'll though
Seabass_Chan 33
Oh please. Everybody knows the blue shell is the one to be feared.
sempisaviour 17
So the turtle's a communist?
laden_swallow09 35
Hell, Super Mario is a communist! Y'know, since we're talking about Mario Kart and all, 84. No, seriously, Game Theory did a piece on it.
CryingPotato 7
Looks like you were too slow heheh... I'll leave now
Delta_0DST 12
The door is right over there
chitochito 17
Looks like he'll burn in shell.
fmlfreek101 15
Please get out.
IcedSapphire 27
No, please stay in. Keep the puns rolling.
BillysBurgers 5
Unless he has a 1-Up.
SymbioticCarnage 6
This is kinda funny??.
JaffaMC 13
That truck driver has been playing a bit too much Mario Kart
BanjoCheeseGuy 26
He must be really bad at mario kart, i mean, who runs into the turtles, that slows you down!
Firetruck69 16
Don't you hate when that happens?
deathrise007 22
That stinks. Hopefully you can wash the car. FYL
UserError94 18
That's the sad part. No matter how hard we hope, washing that car is impossibru
TacoMan32 21
I don't think the dirty car is the "FML" part of this
hfslkp47012759 28
I'm gonna cry in 3...2...1.... ;-;
modenegg 5
**** that turtles life and yours since you need to get a car wash now
PotatoesAndCake 26
That turtle doesn't have a life, no more
modenegg 5
True
Feklfekl2222 32
The author never explicitly says it's dead... Zombie Turtle!
ccameron12 21
Awww that poor turtle. Good for you for trying to help it though.
about53pandas 8
rip turtle ;-;
TrippingOnAcid 29
Can we address the fact that it's a tortoise, and that the two are entirely different?
Frillwee95 12
Coulda been a turtle. Thay can crawl out of water ya know....maybe there was a pond on the other side?
Sansational_ 18
That would be a terrapin. Turtles live in the sea. Okay, I'm done now :D