Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML
Today, I was babysitting my little cousin when we decided to go outside and have a "treasure hunt" in the backyard. The first thing we found? The bones of her pet dog who had passed away four years ago. FML
Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said, "Avada kedavra!" She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML
Today, our family cat died. He had a disease (forget the name). My sister brought home a bunny, and I thought nothing of it until I tried to make the cat and the bunny friends. Sadly, it triggered his illness from stress, and he tragically passed away 4 days later. I still believe it's my fault; everyone says otherwise. FML
Today, I pulled off the road to help a turtle cross it. Before I could get out of my car a dump truck ran over the turtle, splattering my car with turtle guts and bits of shell. FML
Today, my 9 year-old little sister is coming back to town with the rest of my family. She specifically asked me to feed her fish. I totally forgot until she called me 10 minutes ago to tell me she was on her way home and couldn't wait to see her fishie. He's dead. FML
Today, I told my daughter that we were going to the beach. Today, my daughter also tried to dig up our deceased dog, who we buried in our back yard last week, so he could come along. FML
Today, I was mowing my lawn when I lost control along our lawn borders and ran over one of my neighbor’s many garden gnomes. It exploded into a pile of ceramic. I soon discovered it was a limited edition collector's item when the neighbor came out just in time to see me turning her prized lawn decoration into shards. FML
Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML
Today, my dog showed me her latest kill. Too bad it was the stuffed animals my dead grandmother had given me as a child that had a lot of sentimental value to me. FML
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Top comments
gigi96 2
Be like a flower and chuck fire at her
BoW2Me 0
Actually, it didn't die. It escaped in time and left another turtle in its place, for it was a ninja. And a mutant. And a teenager.
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Comments (241)
Baller_Bob 17
Even at 5 I think you would know not to do that
rocker_chick23 27
To all the idiots saying a 5 year old doesn't know any better, I can tell you that they most certainly do know better. When I was 14, I found a baby painted turtle with a cracked carapace and I nursed her back to health and kept her as a pet. My son is 7 and at an early age he knew never to harm her. He loves Mario and knows it's a game and not real.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Thank you, somebody with common sense here.
TrustStolen 16
you say nephew and then you say her. is confused
jensenisbatman 12
Kill him
TheLadyOpal 30
This honestly makes me sick inside.
quibz90 12
seriously! how darft do you get
shotgun_girl 17
That is not death. That is murder.
rebekahw_ 8
Should've stepped on your nephew after that!
fmyinternet 13
Be like the king of turtles and spit fire at him
Andrei I 9
be like mario too and jump on your nephew