Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML
Today, I was babysitting my little cousin when we decided to go outside and have a "treasure hunt" in the backyard. The first thing we found? The bones of her pet dog who had passed away four years ago. FML
Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said, "Avada kedavra!" She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML
Today, our family cat died. He had a disease (forget the name). My sister brought home a bunny, and I thought nothing of it until I tried to make the cat and the bunny friends. Sadly, it triggered his illness from stress, and he tragically passed away 4 days later. I still believe it's my fault; everyone says otherwise. FML
Today, I pulled off the road to help a turtle cross it. Before I could get out of my car a dump truck ran over the turtle, splattering my car with turtle guts and bits of shell. FML
Today, my 9 year-old little sister is coming back to town with the rest of my family. She specifically asked me to feed her fish. I totally forgot until she called me 10 minutes ago to tell me she was on her way home and couldn't wait to see her fishie. He's dead. FML
Today, I told my daughter that we were going to the beach. Today, my daughter also tried to dig up our deceased dog, who we buried in our back yard last week, so he could come along. FML
Today, I was mowing my lawn when I lost control along our lawn borders and ran over one of my neighbor’s many garden gnomes. It exploded into a pile of ceramic. I soon discovered it was a limited edition collector's item when the neighbor came out just in time to see me turning her prized lawn decoration into shards. FML
Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML
Today, my dog showed me her latest kill. Too bad it was the stuffed animals my dead grandmother had given me as a child that had a lot of sentimental value to me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
gigi96 2
Be like a flower and chuck fire at her
BoW2Me 0
Actually, it didn't die. It escaped in time and left another turtle in its place, for it was a ninja. And a mutant. And a teenager.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (241)
gigi96 2
Be like a flower and chuck fire at her
alliewillie 22
That's sick that he/she did that. She needs to learn some respect.
Lauren324 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
6- dude he's 5 years old... He doesn't know what he did wrong.
notsorandomguy 18
Which is why you teach him. By being Bowser and spitting fire at him.
DrDilllonReese 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
^That's basically what 1 just said...
squirrel1215 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
^ No, #1 said be like a FLOWER. Like the power-up. Know your Mario facts before you go a-postin'.
mugu 0
Nephews are (him) not (her)
HotPotat0 8
"nephew" so it's a He. It would be helpful if you re-read the FML, then commented. As it says that he is also just 5 years old! How is he supposed to know that it's wrong? Use your brain please.
mugu 0
Nephews are (he) only, it's nieces that are (her)
DrDilllonReese 12
I was referring to the fire reference
HotPotat0 8
This was for #6.
592405 5
nephew does not mean girl
DanielZVans 5
Whip his ass
1221jamw 11
20- my neighbors have a five year old. Actually the people across the street do too. Both of them have enough common sense not to jump on/harm any pets. So my opinion is that he knew, he's just a trouble maker.
Pandacupcakelove 26
47- Yeah! Little kids get away with stuff all the time just because they're little, and I agree that we shouldn't be too harsh on them, but they do know right from wrong most of the time. Not all kids are inocent little angels... Some of them are actually really mean :|
X_Codes 11
@58 - *most This really is unforgivable. That kid shouldn't be allowed to play video games for years, because he is either totally incapable of discerning reality from fiction or so callous towards pets/animals that he needs to take it where it really hurts to be made to understand that what he did was absolutely unforgivable.
Kukua 5
5 years old is ABSOLUTELY old enough to know that jumping on living things is wrong. His parents should be ashamed.
SpartanMerc 18
Actually, most serial killers start off torturing, killing, dismembering, and dissecting strays and pets. If I were the parent, I'd keep an eye out for more dead animals in the coming months. Not set in stone, but it is a red flag that he didn't see anything wrong in doing what he did, and he may have enjoyed it, or the attention afterward.
citymayer 7
I just asked my 5 year old sister if she would ever jump on a turtle and this is her response: "No! Why would I do that? You can't jump on turtles." Five year olds know better.
ELL10TT203 0
SHUT DA **** UP.
Inheritance 10
At least it wasn't like Mario cart and threw the turtle
MizzErikaHart 8
Nephew, niece whatever, this 5 year old had serious issues and should get them checked out. Kids that kill animals can = adults who kill people
EduJav321 24
Looking at this thread, i find it funny how conversations evolve :b
ALpein 0
Those who say 'they didn't know better, it's not their fault' should never have kids. This is why kids are little brats. No one gets mad at them and if the kids really do do something wrong, the parents will blame someone else. And probably sue.
chimocho 8
I can't believe people are suggesting this kid could turn out to be a murderer for jumping on a turtle! Yes it's awful, but Im sure he didn't realise he was going to kill the poor thing! Kids do stupid things all the time and this is just another stupid thing that I'm sure he was very upset and sorry about. You guys seriously need to calm down!
fireflygirl13 0
Turn out to be a murderer? He already is a murderer. He murdered a poor turtle
BradTheBrony 19
Actually, he probably WAS trying to kill it. I mean, in Mario, why do you jump on koopa in the first place? Oh yeah, TO KILL THEM.
yoyoforpeace 14
RIP Franklin ;(
ReesieBanana21 12
LOL!!! I played that game today. Gotta lub Mario Bros. sorry OP.
sweetpea5196 4
I believ OP said 'her' referring to the turtle. not his nephew.
RainbowMaster88 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Mario is pretty pimp though.....
VictoriaSchultz 8
And what kind of bitches does he have? None..
chitown23 4
Got his ass
iheartstewie7 5
Peach and Daisy?
XtraEzeee 8
Don't forget all the toadettes out there. Ohh, toadette, you are so sexy.
iceman420son 7
Lol #53
PandaSmile 24
Aw that's so cruel! Why couldn't he grow a moustache and be a plumber like Mario!
DrDilllonReese 12
Because 5 year olds don't grow mustaches
LightningCactus 12
Precisley.
GroovyGravy 7
52- i was born with a mustache
kayla_ann0o 9
Shoulda threw the shell at him and been like " now I'm Mario and you're the bad guy"
ChrisG93 8
Mario, kicking koopa troop's ass since 5.
kayla_ann0o 9
You gotta start somewhere.
BoW2Me 0
Actually, it didn't die. It escaped in time and left another turtle in its place, for it was a ninja. And a mutant. And a teenager.
p3mguin 7
Teenage mutant ninja tortoise! I love that show!!
syki 22
Also an alien.
dragonstrike94 8
Turtles ^
p3mguin 7
Ya don't say!
Coby1996 0
Lol
aimeejessica 0
little kids do stupid things all the time, the important thing is that noone got hurt... wait...
kevinn95 0
8-FAIL 90-FAIL Wait.. Actually yeah that was a FAIL
BradTheBrony 19
The important thing is that nobody copied your sentence structure in a failed attempt to be funny. ...wait...
TheMotorCity 6
**** you
itssosparkly 21
RIP, Koopa Troopa.
stevenJB 25
Sad day! :(
galt 13
I think you should take the kid out Maude a bit more often, without turtles or mushrooms
joooeee 3
I assume you mean Mario Balotelli, stomping recklessly at people
biggestfan23 11
I got your joke haha, I'm sure a lot of people here don't watch soccer
doctorhook86 25
10 - And I assume you mean Mario Batali, showing Food Network viewers how to make a delicious turtle soup.
doctorhook86 25
Oops, that should say 11 not 10.
Dante17 6
He wanted to save the princess XD