Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Eventful day
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight after the gym. Then, a cheesecake I'd baked for a client cracked all the way through. Then, my oven broke as I was trying to make a new one, so I left to bake it at a friend's house, at which point I locked my keys and all of my supplies inside my car. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Touch crowd
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Some fun was had
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Spooked
Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML
Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML
Hey sexy…
Today, my girlfriend called me and told me she "had a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So I hurried home, only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML
Today, I asked my new girlfriend if she was feeling alright, since she is on her period for the first time since we started dating. I got an empty cereal bowl thrown at my head. Question asked and answered. FML
It was an accident!
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Top comments
mikepzz 27
I wish you luck good sir.
have_a_moment 0
Buy chocolate. Tons of chocolate.
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Comments (281)
SillyFart 7
Penis
stephan18 23
Reference to previous FML, or just random comment?
SillyFart 7
Just random fcking comment
mikepzz 27
I wish you luck good sir.
awsetdvcshjkgss 1
All you need to do is mark the date on the calendar for future reference
Welshite 40
What about those who have irregular periods? I know women who have menstrual cycles every two to three months naturally. You cannot anticipate those.
MDTeddy 13
Time to get a new gf? Why be with someone who is mean?
P374RD3D 9
^OP's new gf would also have a period.
unknown_user5566 27
21- That's when you keep an emergency kit on hand at all times. You will need: -Chocolate -Midol -chick-flicks -high absorbency tampons/pads -tissues (if she's a crier) -more chocolate -flowers You can thank me later.
OldMemoriesFade 8
25- Being female I find that offensive. She's moody, you try having cramps, bleeding all day and night straight for a week, it's not fun. Nor should it be expected for a women to be extremely happy or dumped during it.
ICastillo 25
Taking notes here kyleekay keep the info coming...
reddawn1985 12
Bloody hell that sucks
melsaraj 9
Your problem not anyone elses
cjgirl 15
31 - Don't forget a heating pad
the_wombat 6
#40. Haha, bloody hell.
MiGman 5
31 that idea actually really does work well
sonuskos 6
Gonna need more chocolate. Give her an endless supply of em. Don't forget ice cream and bacon too. Cant go wrong with bacon.
MrBrightside21 20
OP is doing it all wrong. Comfort your girl at times like these, because she'll remember it and thank you later. You never, ever EVER complain about it on FML. Period.
gmc_blossom 21
56- Unless, you know, the girl is a vegetarian.
Scarshadow101 6
And just happens to have a pet pig that went missing somewhere around the same place and time you bought that bacon.
lexi365 20
You forgot ice cream!
justonecomment 2
@81 I see what you did there!
wannabemom 5
31: You forgot one thing... More chocolate!!
Attica 20
Some other helpful things to add to 31's list: -a heating pad for your lady's abdomen/back -comfy blankets/pillows (being comfortable helps a lot) -chips, if she gets salt cravings -Advil/Tylenol (Midol isn't for everyone) -a puppy wouldn't hurt XD **keep a kit containing these items handy at all times. Your girl will really appreciate it, and it will make both of your lives easier--when she is more comfortable, she will not only feel better, but be nicer to you, and really appreciate how thoughtful you've been.
WhoSaidThatIsh 13
KyleeKay - You "get" it!!
Attica 20
**And yes, as others have mentioned, also ice cream. Especially Ben and Jerry's!
GigaPudding_fml 24
Anyone thought of the possibility that she might just be really upset/angry about something? I'm not saying it's mature to throw a shoe but it feels a bit annoying that almost every time a girl's moody people (including OP) assume it's PMS.
dogpfcorn 11
Bacon is the cure for everything
DKjazz 20
207- Tell that to my obesity. :(
jayn_fml 0
Sir, you are a dumbfuck.
P374RD3D 9
Hey, 209s obesity! Bacon is the cure for everything!
the_golden_one 6
Not technically if they had birthcontrol that helps reduce symptoms, r they don't ovulate because they are super thin etc. Not every mensturating woman turns into a psycho during its time. However I would go to town on a cheesecake no matter what time of the month.
HOB0HUNTER 2
To #202...Really?! She's his girlfriend! Of course he's going to have a reason to assume it's her period. It's not rocket science to figure out roughly when it'll happen. I doubt that he would assume it's "that time" unless it's roughly "that time" again.
fuckedPriceless 17
@171 I feel like she is he kind of person ho would drop kick the puppy for barking.
abnormalbird 11
period survival kits really should be sold in stores now.
BlowinChronic 18
Just about!? I'd say it's here. Good luck... Just be nice to her, chances are she still won't be in a very good mood but it would certainly make her feel better!
BellaBelle_fml 23
She may very well be on her period already, but the days right before the period are actually the most emotional and painful with cramps.
BlowinChronic 18
I learn something every day.
Tookie22 5
Lol being nice does not help. Bring her chocolates midol a blanket and then run and hide for about a week. Good luck buddy.
rsunshine2020 13
THE MONTHLY CURSE. When females can get away with just about anything
hi225 1
Actually, the first day is the worst. But giving chocolate and then running for cover is a good call
BellaBelle_fml 23
I hope that bit of info helps you in the future. There's hardly anything more comforting than having a boyfriend or husband who is understanding and does all he can to make you happy and comfortable when PMSing. Kudos to all of the sympathetic partners out there!
southerngirl7594 1
Just so you know, midol doesn't work on everyone..
onlychildFTW 34
And this is when liking guys could be handy. None of this hormone stuff.
BlowinChronic 18
211- No, just no.
idkhaha 4
I disagree with u 28. I don't have cramps til it starts. She's probably already on hers.
BellaBelle_fml 23
Every woman experiences different symptoms at different times. My original comment was just my personal experience and that of almost every other woman I know. I even stated in my original comment that it is quite possible for OP's girlfriend to already be on her period.
have_a_moment 0
Buy chocolate. Tons of chocolate.
bestnameright 14
Especially whoppers ;) (anyone get the reference?)
missababgaga 19
Though most women enjoy scarfing down chocolate during that special time of the month, I'm personally not among those. Perhaps get her more cheesecake, of assorted flavors! She seems to enjoy it, since she almost ate one in its entirety :)
happle 21
If she threw a show at his head, I don't think he owes her anything. That's kind of rude. No matter how cranky my period makes me, I don't take it out on anyone, especially not my boyfriend..
missababgaga 19
78- You have such a valid point there, I certainly would never treat my boyfriend like that when I have mine. But there are some relationships out there where the boyfriend is willing to put up with their girlfriend in that sensitive state. Maybe he is willing to endure all of that with little issue because he understands she is in a lot of pain. Though, that is still not excuse for her shoe throwing!
ninjapiratejesus_fml 20
It is FML though, so these are the worst of the worst experiences. Personally, I find that my friends and I just get a little depressed at most. I've never met anyone who gets super bitchy or demanding.
Ameel_fml 19
I guess it depends on the person. When I'm on my period, I can get pretty angry. I'll start screaming and sometimes have thrown things, and in the back of my mind I'll know what I'm doing is irrational and unnecessarily mean, but for some reason my brain just doesn't care and does it anyway. It's a frustrating thing. Granted, I'd never expect my husband to comfort me if I'm being an ass to him. Generally the best thing to do is to leave me alone for a few hours so I can calm down and wait for the pain/anger to pass.
Inheritance 10
Aunt flow is a bitch.. But yes tons of chocolate!
missababgaga 19
109- I get irrationally angry too! xD as well as very, VERY impatient. Mainly with the people I'm around most. Through, I haven't ever thrown anything at someone from that anger/impatience. I just take a moment to relax, and apologize for my negative attitude... and again or the future negative attitude too! :p
lilmslady 11
It's weird because I never get upset during my period at all the only thing that happens is cramps and craving
thefmlman2011 37
Just go to Costco and get a 10 kg bar of chocolate...
winbot 2
Or pregnant...
Nabee143 3
I seriously doubt that. And who's to say she's even on her period. Lets see, here's the facts: she's eaten almost a whole cheesecake, watching The Notebook, and throwing shoes at her boyfriend. It's possible he could've been cheating on her and she just found out. It's a theory. Maybe?
olpally 33
No... Idiot...
genericfmluser 17
by the time she gets that hormonal she would be in her second trimester. they wouldknow
pickles1994 18
No not preggo
Bluekaren16 19
Well leave her alone haha
FMLmylife66 3
Once a month for the rest of your life
MURIKKA 11
All he did was walk into the house....
annie_nk 23
And her pre-menopause life.
SystemofaBlink41 27
107- unless she is anatomically incorrect and her period lasts for a year, that last option would make sense...
VeeEight 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Bitches be crazy!!! So glad I don't do this shit!!! Just keep the sweets coming, and you'll be fine!!!
thatpeachyperson 12
I swear some women overreact. I'm like: "Yeah bitch, you're bleeding from your ******. So ******* what? Take it like a ******* man and stop overreacting." I only got mine 2 years ago, that's plenty of time to get used to it.
flockz 20
then why are you exclaiming this at us!!!!!!?
theluckyones 10
24. Take it like a man? Men don't have periods.. And you can't get used to it completely. Periods put you in situations that you can't get out of cause your constantly bleeding for an entire week!.. I've had my period for 8 years and it still finds ways to ruin plans and days for me.
thatpeachyperson 12
Fine, take it like a butch woman. What I'm saying is, I just get on with it. Yeah it happens, but I'm not gonna curl up on the sofa and abuse my boyfriend because of it.
PlaySpades 21
24- You do realize that women aren't emotional because they're bleeding from their ******. They're emotional because of the hormone fluctuations associated with the cycle. That's not something they can control by "taking it like a man".
unknown_user5566 27
24/46- I don't necessarily disagree with your opinion of "it happens, deal with it, and move on" but the way you're presenting it makes you sound kind of bitchy.
melody309 35
46, obviously you've never had a period so intense that you throw up multiple times for a day or two, and you're literally crying out in pain like a dying animal or something. If you're anything like me, it will only get worse as you get older. Trust me, your time will come.
melons 44
59, a period that makes you vomit and cry out in pain has nothing to do with getting older; it's simply not normal. You should see a doctor about it, as it could be something like Endometrosis. Believe me, I know...
amandajlucas2015 2
#59 that was how my periods were I got on depo provera for birth control and don't get a period any more.. Try it no cramps or throwing up.. And kyleekay I think she is trying to be a bitch lol she trying to prove to everyone how cool and tough she is just ignore her
WTFisthiscrap 6
Mine didn't mess with my emotions or make me act crazy at all till I'd had it for 5 or 6 years either. Act like a man???? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh my I have tears running down my face now! Have you ever seen a man when he has a little cold? Men are the biggest babies when it comes to that sort of thing!
dashizam 10
Act normal and invent chocolate Midol.
melody309 35
64, they aren't like that all the time, but I've had a few where I've just wanted to die. I usually have pretty bad cramps for the first two days, but it's nothing a little tylenol and ibuprofen can't fix. If they were that awful all the time, though, I'd definitely see a doctor. I was just trying to show 46 that she doesn't know everything and she isn't as tough as she thinks. Thanks for your concern, though. :)
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
64- no, it is normal for some. My mom gets severe back pains and is doubled over in pain for most of her week, in addition to vomiting on occasions. Just because it's uncommon doesn't make it abnormal.
Ameel_fml 19
"Fine, take it like a butch woman. What I'm saying is, I just get on with it. Yeah it happens, but I'm not gonna curl up on the sofa and abuse my boyfriend because of it." Then you're very lucky to have such mild periods. See how you feel if you ever have an overly heavy flow, migraines, hormone fluctuations, dizziness, numb limbs, throwing up, or intense cramps. Many women have pretty intense periods and even require medication just to get through the day. I myself have been on the Pill for years now just to regulate my period because I lost too much blood each month and ended up anemic and weak. Periods can suck.
melody309 35
I don't think it's even uncommon, 113. I get really bad aches and pains too, especially in my back and legs. And I lash out without meaning to. I just can't help it. Some women just have really intense periods, and unfortunately your mom and I are some of those unlucky souls.
MURIKKA 11
Jesus christ, this thread makes me want to gouge my eyes out. Pretty much everyone on here needs to stop having a pissing contest on how bad their periods are, and chill the **** out. Yes, periods suck, I think we all get that. Now calm yourselves.
jessi_sunshine 26
For the first two years I had periods, it was pretty smooth sailing. "Getting used to it" wasn't the problem. Then the hormones and the fetal position inducing cramps hit me. Day before and day one: high-kind-of-happy. Day two-five: curled up on my bathroom floor crying, antisocial, and weepy as ****. It's not something you can control. Get off your high horse; you're not any better than the rest of us just because either your experience is different or you haven't fully grown into your pubescence yet.
NicoleAshley10 0
#59 have you thought about getting on birth control? I dealt with the same thing you are experiencing, and that's when the nurse told me about birth control pills. Let me say they work heavenly.
Warden1986 16
Ok ladies and some gents, I'm a man we don't have periods. However we have to deal with the effects. I for one try to help my wife when she is on her period. She's has a really bad case of PCOS if you don't what that is its cysts that cover you're ovaries and the tubes. During her period some cysts burst causing serve pain. #46 I think it was ,man up that. I'm a man and I won't be able to handle that pain! Do not act you know how every women period is because they are all different do not be so arrogant. Just because your lucky enough to have mild ones.
junkman6 22
My girl has extreme periods but she only has one once every three months. BUT she doesn't use it as an excuse to be a complete psychotic bitch. She's in pain and grumpy but she has enough self control to let it run its course without being like OPs girl.
melody309 35
144, I have, but I really don't want to deal with all the crap that comes with it. I realize that sounds selfish, but it's something I've always been adamant about, and my boyfriend is awesome and he understands. Besides, after the first day or two, as long as I take medicine, my period really isn't that bad, so I don't really feel like I need it.
WritingWrongs 8
-77, I was about ready to troll, but I concede your point. As a man, when I get a cold, there is NOTHING productive I will be doing that day. Breaking a toe? That's fine, just get on with it. When it's as simple as sniffles and a headache, I want to kill myself.
BellaBelle_fml 23
Warden1986; Your wife is a very lucky woman to have such a supportive and actively involved husband like you. I don't have what she has but I did learn about it in my nursing program and it sounds so horribly painful to have to go through. She is very blessed to have a great supportive husband such as yourself. I'm thankful I can say the same about my husband :)
Warden1986 16
A man that loves his wife, will do anything for her and be supportive. Well at least that's my motto.
genericfmluser 17
it may get worse for you. Normal i can keep my self together but i snap easily. but some times i become Queen Psyco Bitch for 3 days.
cookeemonster 7
I don't get any symptoms apart from cramps that leave me out of breath and usually in tears, and I've had mine for 5 years. Some of my friends are the same as me, but some get so touchy, I have literally said hello to the and they've started crying. It depends on the person, not everyone can 'take it like a man' and it's not just 'blood coming out of your ******.'
genericfmluser 17
Been there done that got the shirt and burned it. talk to your doctor about neoproxin its not normaly for this but it relieves the pain substantially.
Angielovesmetoo 8
24. How can YOU say that other woman overreact? Do you instantly feel their pain when you come within 5 meters of them? Didn't think so. When I get my period I some days can't even get out of bed because the of the pain. But I'm probably overreacting, right?
Mauskau 36
Everyone is different. It ***** with your hormones, gives you pain and makes you feel like shit. You aren't gonna be happy when you feel like that. Not everyone feels the same but it's understandable that she can be in a bad mood, I used to be very moody and feel like crap all the time before I went on the pill to stop them, now I've never felt better.
gracehi 33
Eating cheese cake, watching chick flicks, having cramps, and being bitchy is one thing. Lashing out with physical violence is another, and menstruation is no excuse for it. Testosterone causes aggression, but that doesn't give men license to attack people, and neither does menstruation give women such license. If you find that menstruation causes you to act out violently or have violent urges, you need to learn to control yourself and if you find you can't do it on your own then you need to consult a doctor and get medication to lessen the symptoms. You owe it to yourself and everyone close to you. OP's girlfriend was completely out of line throwing things at her boyfriend, period or not, and the issue needs to be addressed, either with some self control on her part, with medication, or with OP dumping her so he doesn't have to put up with this bull shit on a monthly basis.
flockz 20
this thread has ended in a bloodbath.
Posthuman 26
201, I almost vomited reading that
sereyna 1
Amen!
EyesofStone 27
You do sound a bit bitchy. You have to understand that every woman's body is different. I've had my period for 9 years and it has never made me emotional or bitchy, but that's probably because my hormones fluctuate less than others. Women like us should consider ourselves lucky, not bitch at others for reacting differently than we do.
heygirlie777 21
Don't touch that cheesecake. She won't forgive you; I promise.
winnerme123 8
And make another cheesecake then it will be fine.
Nighthunter 11
Man, I feel for you! We are all in the same boat!
mowmowlife 21
You now may have permission to place the rest of the cheesecake directly on to her face. Instant death, but well worth it.
mowmowlife 21
So yes, this is inconsiderate. But you guys shouldn't give her a free pass to throw things at her partner because she's on her period. It's a form of abuse even if she didn't meaaaaaaan it, because it's as irresponsible and inappropriate as throwing a controller at someone when you lose a game. In the event that OP didn't do anything to earn it, she's clearly in the wrong for abusing her leeway.
Myo_fml 20
... Yes, because killing menstruating women fixes everything.
mowmowlife 21
OH NO NO NO! I didn't mean that at all, I meant instadeath for OP as a joke since she's already weirded out. No, I didn't mean to say to kill her jokingly. Ohnonono. I'm sorry.
mowmowlife 21
Thanks for pointing it out. I'm not male, either, so I'm not being prejudiced
agonydrum 7
97 I think it does, btw nice profile pic
unicornpower56 7
I've only had my period for a year now and even I'm not like that. I don't go watching sad movies lol, or eating all day or all that. I'll sometimes get mad easily but that's all:P but I agree with you, Girls shouldn't be getting Mad at everyone just cause there on their period.
imavelociraptor 6
If you only had it for a year i would estimate that you are what? 13? 14? I'm still a teen myself but because we are going through puberty we are already hormonal and a little bit crazy so you probably wouldn't even notice any changes is behavior or mood. I know that i get spacey or sad for the first 2 days and then i get pissed off at my whole family and just stay in my room and then i get cramps until it goes away. Most girls get really grouchy and we can't really do anything but smile and pretend that we don't want to smack you...
IPoopedOnU 12
Your picture is perfect
Myo_fml 20
Your first year of periods is easy. It gets worse the older you get. I didn't have cramps my whole first year but they eventually started too. It gets rough further down the road. Speaking from seven years of experience, lol.
iHeartMuzik 0
Dude, What Does Ur Profile Pic Mean? Lol