Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my sister is dressing up as a nerd for Halloween. She's using my clothes for the costume. FML
Today, my sister asked if she could look through my closet to find something to wear. She is 6 months pregnant. FML
Today, I spent over $160 and 2 hours preparing for a Halloween party I was throwing. The only person who showed up was my sister, who helped me decorate. FML
Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yelled at the top of her voice, "Stop following me, you freak." I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML
Today, my sister asked to use my blow dryer, so I gave her the keys to my apartment. When I came home from work, half my clothes were missing. FML
Today, I went to a dress up party. The theme was pirates and prostitutes. At the door I was handed a voucher that said: 'Thank you for dressing up. Collect your free drink at the bar.' I didn't dress up. FML
Today, my sister and I got fitted for bridesmaid's dresses. It was pretty sheer material, so I took off my bright pink thong and left it on the changing room hanger. As I was looking at myself in the mirror, a woman came out of the room holding my thong. She had tried it on. FML
Today, my house cleaner discovered I cross-dress as she was cleaning. She found the pretty nightgowns I wear to bed and other items. Now she wants extra money or she will make my cross dressing public. FML
Today, my sister confessed that when she runs out of clean underwear, she uses mine. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also put it back in my dresser afterwards so I wouldn't notice. FML
Today, I went to my step-sister's for family dinner. Her husband was really drunk and openly hit on me in front of most of my family. I nonchalantly ignored his advances. Later, my step-mom said it would not have happened if I didn't dress like a skank. FML
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Top comments
solecism 0
well if the dress fits..
mintcar 10
Wow, says a lot about you, huh?
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Comments (131)
solecism 0
well if the dress fits..
mintcar 10
You're trying a little too hard "Jamal."
xFalzz 0
Very wise advice there, Jamal.
ImaginaryFoe 1
I've said the same thing about "Jamal". I don't think he's really a "black guy". He's just trying too hard to fill a stereotype.
xBangOut 4
He is an obvious troll, can't believe you are still discussing it. Don't feed the troll, dumb asses
FantasticFin 0
your picture gives me nightmares:s
yosho123 0
Your a prostitue x0 !! how much was last night ;]
danab_fml 0
ur parents deserve it for letting ur sis dress as a prostitute. Ydi for having a prostitute dress.
beastmcbeastly 0
wats rong wit prostitute costumes?
x_HELLo_tHERE_x 0
They are a bit overused nowadays.
mintcar 10
Wow, says a lot about you, huh?
metal8214 0
why are you covered in pubes???
mintcar 10
I'm not even going to bother myself with this one. ^
metal8214 0
lol
IAreStarfeesh 0
Because pubes are the 'thing' nowadays. All the cooo kids want pubes all over :D. I myself don't think she looks like she has pubes on her head.
FantasticFin 0
number 25, why are you so ugly?
SadinSherman 16
Number 120,Why are you so rude?
lgs25 0
I don't think she's ugly
nhlnba2 6
Number 120, stop being a bitch.
MustacheChildren 0
Number 120, why are you such a dip shit?
FFML_314 12
Good news is, she can use her earnings to buy a more conservative wardrobe and you can borrow her clothes. ;)
Hollisss 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI. Why do you have a prostitute costune.
brennboo 3
it wasn't a prostitute costume- it was OP's favorite dress which makes it an FML
Hollisss 0
If it can be mistaken for a prostitute outfit it's close enough.
metal8214 0
anything can, like looking like #4 (without offense)
Hollisss 0
You're gonna get spanked for that.
pyro119 0
That's not even that FML worthy, you just dress like a **** apparently.
surefirewinners 0
I co-sign. If it affects you that much OP, change your wardrobe.
msj723 0
poopy
knibbsy 4
Good job, OP, you've officially earned my respect. Dressing like a ***** and not realizing it - that's my kind of woman. You're probably dumb enough to get in my candy van as well. At least I hope. I LOVE HOOKERS.
FFML_314 12
I knew it!
knibbsy 4
You got that right.
FFML_314 12
How much do you love hookers?
TookiMyCooki 0
as much as my monkey does, right?
knibbsy 4
Enough to not care about the herpes. I love tying them up.
FFML_314 12
I'm afraid to go any further with this conversation.
sourgirl101 29
I don't want it to stop! This is some funny shit!(:
knibbsy 4
It's just a schizophrenic talking to herself. I've been had. HAD. I enjoyed it though.
TookiMyCooki 0
my uncle is a skitzo.
FFML_314 12
WTF is a skitzo?
sourgirl101 29
Sounds like a type of candy.
EvilDoll 7
if I say it's a type of candy will you get into my van? you know, for... candy
knibbsy 4
Screw off, 44, I'm the only one allowed to advertise the van around here. I've got dibs.
sourgirl101 29
You got "Dibs"? So now you're an ice cream van too!
FFML_314 12
HAHA! Q, that was seriously hilarious. I will only get into knibbsy's van and that's because he has pretty hair.
sourgirl101 29
All depends on the flavor he has. Not in the mood for anything salty or with nuts.
FFML_314 12
*Puts buster bar in purse* Well, how about a klondike bar!
FFML_314 12
Pineapple is the key to my heart.
sourgirl101 29
So you have a van as well? Pineapple? *smirking
FFML_314 12
I just keep picturing Adam Sandler shoving a pineapple up Hitlers ass.
sourgirl101 29
I was wondering who 'he is' at first, now I get it. Haha
FFML_314 12
HAHAHA! I love you, Q! You make me smile.
sourgirl101 29
Anna! Believe me, I feel the same way!
FFML_314 12
Yes!
FFML_314 12
Do you have shrimp?
sourgirl101 29
Sounds like you've been to a swinger's club with that type of talk. lol
knibbsy 4
I need to fetch my rape shoes. I like where this is going.
FFML_314 12
BUT, do you have ice skates?
sourgirl101 29
Pendatik is there a hidden story about you and shrimp?
InDenial 6
Cooki stole my picture bitch. :D
IAreStarfeesh 0
Guy 1"You spent our rent on philipeno hookers!?" Guy 2"They're not hookers! They're massage therapists!" Guy 3 " Yeah they'll massage your **** for five bucks. There's a word for that. I think it's hooker." Guy 1"YOU'RE A HOOKER"
pizzaboy031 0
Loool :)
x_HELLo_tHERE_x 0
FFML: I loved the Little Nicky reference.
Nitro_Toast 0
i think i moderated this one lol
brennboo 3
congrats!
TookiMyCooki 0
nuh-uh! You lyin! Where my cookie at? who TookiMyCooki?!?!
zemo999 0
So did I!!! lol
MissLizWolf 8
ydi for dressing like a prostitute. ha
Nitro_Toast 0
That just says you dress like a ****