Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yelled at the top of her voice, "Stop following me, you freak." I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was out shopping with my little sister. I wanted to try something on, so I put my bag in front of a changing room and jokingly told her to bark if someone came near. She ended up biting a lady who was trying to get into one of the changing rooms. FML
Today, I went shopping with my sister’s husband to help him choose a birthday gift for her. My sister’s insane friend saw us, followed us, and caused a huge screaming scene in the middle of the mall accusing us of having an affair. FML
Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML
Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML
Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML
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Top comments
clib542 0
I guess she will be walking home
Geckofreak97 0
That sort of thing has happened to me on more than one occasion. FYL
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Comments (216)
fisheatsbear 6
ha
fisheatsbear 6
yay I got first
Averizzle 0
Again, you can stick a cucumber covered in fire ants in her ****** as revenge.. Don't forget the camcorder!
Tripout 0
ROFLMFAO, I'm sorry, this is just too good. Funny as sister you got there >;D
mrteacup 0
ya 34 I doubt why would u do that to a girl? but op your sis' is freaking funny
Watchmaker 2
Suddenly, I have to wonder what happens if you apply cyanoacrylate glue to the bottom end of a cucumber and shove it in a ******. Would it look like a raging boner from the outside?
bwhahaha_fml 10
34 you have some very evil and disturbing thoughts and op... that is why you don't take shortcuts and walk around certain sections. and don't even try to say it was the only way.
mooshibear140 4
your sister does alot of crazy things to you, doesn't she? [:
Terwilliger 0
hahaa is she hot? she has an awesome sense of humour
jollykilla704 0
leave her there. just get in the car and drive home. you instantly win. and if you took separate cars, dump on hers hood.
Reyo 2
Just what I was thinking 141. "HAHA YOU LOSER THAT WAS HILA-wait where'd you go..."
girlwithatruck 0
That's ******* sick! why would you even think of that? even if it is revenge...
weaverr 4
that would hurt like hell, lmfao
karee10 0
that's sooo funny:) sorry dude!!
xlostwithoutu 0
Sounds like something my sister would do. Smack her when u get home.
mylifeblows32 0
take a dump on her when she us sleeping. that's what I do to keep my girl in line
jamiebuczko 0
lmfao!
BM13HC 0
@ 34 Averizzle, you're going to hell, man
gingersnapper 0
Don't forget the_! Aww, you remembered! :D
KaylaCrow 4
I think that's almost incest. Sticking anything in your SISTER'S vag is.
wordgirl 0
Averizzle: YOU ARE DISGUSTING. you gross, immature asshole. How old are you? Twelve? And do you, by any chance, have alcoholic/drug abusing parents? Maybe you live in a bad part of town? I mean, something's got to be wrong with you...
Secret_Fire_King 0
YDI for being around to protect her from ACTUAL creeps.. I hope you learnt your lesson.. Now, you gotta let her learn hers.. but that could take a while.. In the meantime, #141's plan is sounding nice..
MiSTERmAttt 0
roflolcopter I would stick a DVD player I her ****** I've done it great revenge
chahat 0
WTF?! just .... WTF?!
stephanieeDawnx 0
Op; Ha! Let's see who's laughing now! >:) *drives away as sister is coming out of store* sister; >:( *phone* MOM!!!!! Op; -_- ****. Get in. Sister always wins. :D
ScottieJo 8
Shut up you spaz. He obviously wasn't serious.
ZombieBunnies 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's fabfuckingtacular!!!
deathcab7 0
haha^ and op, thats hilarious! thats something I would do.
Invioletlight 0
In today's society, be lucky you weren't hauled away to spend the night in jail (at least).
Vayant 0
Haha, true.
thoughtcrimeno1 0
in my home country you would be stoned to death for your insolence, or maybe harpooned...depends on the weather really
st0815 9
The harpooning is when it rains, I assume?
Tdoodle 0
r u from Canada?
prepayedtank 0
In Canada, we just put you in a cage with out pet moose (I'm actually Canadian so no hatin)
Geckofreak97 0
That sort of thing has happened to me on more than one occasion. FYL
ianl87 0
I've never felt better to be an only child
koolitaliano 0
true, I'd get revenge on her somehow, like stashing a bunch of ****** in a place the mother would look, so she looks like a sex addicted freak
Averizzle 0
rofl. ^
repyourcliche 0
rofl. ^
omgitsdomonique 0
rofl. ^
mochi_fml 0
rofl. ^
x_HELLo_tHERE_x 0
Was that a rofl train?
willrh102291 0
rofl^
Averizzle 0
rofl^
ringmybell_fml 0
I like to say rofl, 'rolf.'
thoughtcrimeno1 0
rickrolled obituary funds lasagna
LauraTheKiwi 0
rofl. ^
Freeze_fml 17
rofl ^
demoon_fml 7
Rofl
mcgugs 0
c-c-c-combo breaker! (again)
EastonxStealth 0
lmfao^
xlostwithoutu 0
rofl. ^
stlcardsftw 0
rofl
Gumblebum100 0
rofl^ Roadkill, Only For Luck!! lol idk
gods_hunter10 0
rofl
matau32 0
rofl^
HelloAnna 0
Rofl^
mahamii_93 0
rofl ^
chloelovestoswim 6
rotflmfao^
Link5794 18
Roflcoptermfaowtfbbq BTw, u should bitch-slap the... bitch
FFYL334 0
rofl^
Splayd 10
rofl ^
musicalducky 21
rofl ^
Feklfekl2222 32
PMSL ^
ShadowlessSpear 21
rofl^
chellzrox 0
lol. that's messed up.
maph3rs 0
that's awesome. but yeah lucky you didn't get a kicking!!
clib542 0
I guess she will be walking home
mabs91 0
Exactly what i was thinking.
samantha_durano 6
hahah, I love your sister.
do20ss 4
that was clowning, she got u pretty good, op is prolly a nerd and still let her in the car and took her home and ur parents prolly laughed at u too, then u went to ur room and watched AS A FISH EATS A BEAR???
puedominican 0
lol
fisheatsbear 6
you called?
do20ss 4
yea I called to say get a life
MISStaken43 0
hahah priceless.
Invioletlight 0
@Fisheatsbear You were first because you didn't actually comment. You being first will have some value at least when your comments are actual viewpoints or opinions related to the FML.
fisheatsbear 6
shhhh. and think about this: fish eating a bear
Juggalette_623 9
piranha? >.>
steffex 0
thats one hungry fishhh....