Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my sister is dressing up as a nerd for Halloween. She's using my clothes for the costume. FML
Today, my sister asked if she could look through my closet to find something to wear. She is 6 months pregnant. FML
Today, I spent over $160 and 2 hours preparing for a Halloween party I was throwing. The only person who showed up was my sister, who helped me decorate. FML
Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yelled at the top of her voice, "Stop following me, you freak." I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML
Today, my sister asked to use my blow dryer, so I gave her the keys to my apartment. When I came home from work, half my clothes were missing. FML
Today, I went to a dress up party. The theme was pirates and prostitutes. At the door I was handed a voucher that said: 'Thank you for dressing up. Collect your free drink at the bar.' I didn't dress up. FML
Today, my sister and I got fitted for bridesmaid's dresses. It was pretty sheer material, so I took off my bright pink thong and left it on the changing room hanger. As I was looking at myself in the mirror, a woman came out of the room holding my thong. She had tried it on. FML
Today, my house cleaner discovered I cross-dress as she was cleaning. She found the pretty nightgowns I wear to bed and other items. Now she wants extra money or she will make my cross dressing public. FML
Today, my sister confessed that when she runs out of clean underwear, she uses mine. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also put it back in my dresser afterwards so I wouldn't notice. FML
Today, I went to my step-sister's for family dinner. Her husband was really drunk and openly hit on me in front of most of my family. I nonchalantly ignored his advances. Later, my step-mom said it would not have happened if I didn't dress like a skank. FML
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Top comments
solecism 0
well if the dress fits..
mintcar 10
Wow, says a lot about you, huh?
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Comments (131)
FYLDeep 26
So what, people going as zombies don't actually eat brains, and I bet people going as prostitutes don't really sell their bodies. This is your time to shine. Get in there and show her how to really suck everyone's dick. That will earn you sone respect.
supasxcprincess 0
YDI!! how can you seriously not know that you dress like a prostitute ? stupid and slutty.
hahaalolz 0
urmmm have you not seen ur picture? atleast she wears dresses.
heyjenn 0
77: look at what you're wearing.
5t3ff1k4h 47
14 is in a bathing suit. 77 is in a bra. Who's the one who looks like a prostitute?
hahaalolz 0
FYI 109, it actually is not a bra, it is a bonds crop top, with a hoodie, get your shit right.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Oh, yes. I'm sorry. Because that's so much better. Hmmm... let's wear a "shirt" that barely covers my boobs, and doesn't cover my midriff, and show it off on FML. My point is, it's still slutty, so keep your trap shut.
free2speak 14
77 is jealous. 14 is hot. she lives in Sydney so wearing a bikini is totally justified. 77 you're kinda pretty too. no need to be jealous.
hahaalolz 0
bitch don't tell me to shut my trap, my jumper was half zipped up, so yeah I was kinda covering my midriff, and I'm pree sure u can't see my **** anyway. and omgsh I live in sydney too, twinns! lol jk.
5t3ff1k4h 47
124 - Is she still attractive with a mouth like that? 125 - "Pree" isn't a word. Nonetheless, your "outfit" is still pretty skanky, especially if you're posting the picture and showing it off on FML - a world of unknowns. Might I suggest cleaning up that mouth of yours a bit? I swear too, but it's just stupid if you swear at least once a sentence. It doesn't make you look cool. Oh, and calling me a bitch is a compliment. So, thank you.
Snowlight_fml 7
Double KO?
molil_4810 0
hahaha slutty pumpkin!!
iSexxxy 0
That's hot..
TookiMyCooki 0
what if it's an ugly chic? is it still hot? think before u post
InDenial 6
Hey, our monkeys look similar in a way!
hahaalolz 0
so are you sexy ;)
InDenial 6
Wait, are you hitting on my monkey?
hahaalolz 0
no, I'm hitting on isexxxy, sorry monkey :P
joolz_au 2
lol just start worrying if she gives it back to you covered in stains......if so charge her your pimp fee lol
klownzgurl 0
YOUR SISTER IS FUNNY...But hey on the serious note: HOW MUCH YOU CHARGE LmFaO.. <(^•^<)...
heyjenn 0
-_-
SMD_emilyy 1
i LuV Th3 w@y U TyP3
EightInchNails 9
Righteous indeed.
mrahhhhh 21
So OP... How much? :P
Sindy_fml 4
awwww... pissed for you
CallMeHush 1
So you dress like a two bit *****, I won't hold it against you. Er, BTW just how much is it to hold it against you?