Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mum thought it was perfectly acceptable to post a status on Facebook about how well she is healing up after her hemorrhoid surgery, and tag me in it. FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status as, "Lost all my contacts, need numbers". My mom commented, "Her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends." Her comment got 32 likes. FML
Today, I logged on to Facebook and had 64 notifications. I thought that perhaps I was popular. But no, it was my ten year old sister, liking 64 of my pictures. FML
Today, my girlfriend "accidentally" set her relationship status to "single", and 20 of my friends "liked" it, including my mom. FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status to "It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood." My cousin, seeing the status, failed to pick up on the sarcastic humor. She called all my family members and tell them that I was pregnant. Including my husband in Iraq. FML
Today, my mother posted a video of me giving birth, on Facebook. FML
Today, I was getting ready to go to a surprise party I'd planned for my best friend. All was going well on the discretion part until I logged onto Facebook. I saw that my sister had set her status to, "At Natalie's surprise party! BBL!" Natalie had liked it. FML
Today, my sister made her engagement official on Facebook. When I shared the post to spread the word, people didn't read her boyfriend's name, and I started getting questions on why my sister and I were getting married. FML
Today, my sister brought me coffee to my office. It was really nice so I made a status about it on Facebook. My boyfriend texted me soon after, freaking out because I never put anything on Facebook about him and how great he is. I'm basically dating a 14-year-old girl. FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML
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Top comments
hedgerow 0
that's nasty why would you like that?
FYLDeep 26
Detail what afterbirth smells like on your next status. Try to outdo her.
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Comments (150)
ilovetrollingnig 0
Ydi it for being girl,not being in kitchen, for have friends, a baby, a sister, a facebook,and being born u dumb ****
hahaalolz 0
no, ffs leave the trolling to TrullzfordaLullz.
marcranger 29
typical (new) parents, thinking the world revolves around them just because they managed to do what billions of people have done before them. op, grow up and focus on preventing your child from becoming one of the ill-behaved turds that makes the rest of us hate children. obviously you're the only one who cares about the little snotrag and I'm not surprised.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
I hate to be "that guy", but I kind of agree with the first half of this post. Really, few people care enough about a new baby to get excited about every "first" thing the baby and/or family does. I've completely lost several female friends into Mommyland because they can't seem to talk about anything else. I'll happily offer congrats and ooh and aww a bit, but I don't need to hear every detail. My patience runs very thin when discussions start excluding anything non-kid related, and completely ends when new parents start quizzing me about why I don't have kids yet, because "Oh they just change your whole world and you'd be such a good mommy!" It's like they turn from totally awesome individuals into pod-people overnight. Not cool. -.-
nightmaree_fml 0
thts not an fml... WTF
abcdork 0
YDI for caring, fb likes aren't a big deal.
haha89 0
So what/
adorkable_spazz 0
congrats. but, why do you care about facebook likes?
whattagirl 0
ouchhhh that sucks! congrats tho.. u know.. what with the baby and all (: and as far as the whole menstrual shrimp thing.. ew :p
iheartglasses 0
Am I the only one that sees that OPs feeling werent really hurt that her sister got more Likes than she did, its that her sister got more Likes than the update about the baby. She cares about her new addition and expects everyone else to feel just as much joy. Its a parent thing, and Im a parent so I get that. Congratulations on the little girl :)
jayne24 0
we all feel so sorry for you because you didn't get any status 'likes'. douche bag.
misarei 0
you're sister must seriously have a disgusting ******. that's ******* repulsive. its nothing like shrimp.