Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mum thought it was perfectly acceptable to post a status on Facebook about how well she is healing up after her hemorrhoid surgery, and tag me in it. FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status as, "Lost all my contacts, need numbers". My mom commented, "Her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends." Her comment got 32 likes. FML
Today, I logged on to Facebook and had 64 notifications. I thought that perhaps I was popular. But no, it was my ten year old sister, liking 64 of my pictures. FML
Today, my girlfriend "accidentally" set her relationship status to "single", and 20 of my friends "liked" it, including my mom. FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status to "It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood." My cousin, seeing the status, failed to pick up on the sarcastic humor. She called all my family members and tell them that I was pregnant. Including my husband in Iraq. FML
Today, my mother posted a video of me giving birth, on Facebook. FML
Today, I was getting ready to go to a surprise party I'd planned for my best friend. All was going well on the discretion part until I logged onto Facebook. I saw that my sister had set her status to, "At Natalie's surprise party! BBL!" Natalie had liked it. FML
Today, my sister made her engagement official on Facebook. When I shared the post to spread the word, people didn't read her boyfriend's name, and I started getting questions on why my sister and I were getting married. FML
Today, my sister brought me coffee to my office. It was really nice so I made a status about it on Facebook. My boyfriend texted me soon after, freaking out because I never put anything on Facebook about him and how great he is. I'm basically dating a 14-year-old girl. FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML
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Top comments
hedgerow 0
that's nasty why would you like that?
FYLDeep 26
Detail what afterbirth smells like on your next status. Try to outdo her.
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Comments (150)
catlynnpenn 0
first
MAGNAVOX 0
I predict moderation:)
catlynnpenn 0
what
MAGNAVOX 0
You shall see.
catlynnpenn 0
for saying first?
FMLRelapse 4
yup
jakii_ 0
yes
zerobahamut03 2
Aw I am sorry OP, if I had been your friend I would have "liked" your comment. Babies ftw!
TRACKGiRLJONNi 0
maybe if your baby smelled like shrimp and didn't look like an alien...
TheOptimist 0
Facebook is life stupid. It's only true if it's on facebook.
yucayucatan 0
Am I the only one that found that terribly disturbing?
tweetbaby14 18
OP what your sister said is nasty... beyond nasty now that I think about it. congrats on the baby :)
iGrenade 0
oh no! no likes! your life is ruined!
dragonaair 5
Your sister probably has friends that like everything she says - my friend is like that, she likes EVERYTHING! Even stuff she doesn't know about.
babyyappld 7
is this seriously what fml has come to? people complaining that they didn't get likes on their status? quit whining and go spend time with your new child
iknowwhatimsayin 0
like
kongor 1
177 wins
xdarknightx 0
first
imsogangster13 0
I was . actuallyyy !
catlynnpenn 0
no I deft got it ;)
l3allin_all_day 0
epic fail
catlynnpenn 0
no I deft got it ;)
KiwiLime 0
13: got what? the shrimp smell? good for you then.
lionandthelamb61 9
The only thing more obnoxious, redundant, moronic, and unnecessary than saying "first" when you're the first to comment, is saying "first" when YOU'RE NOT EVEN FIRST!!!
i_like_pie_mofo 0
FAIL
Shrimpy35 4
The sadness of facebook
solegit 0
Do you mean #2 was a fail, or the fml itself was a fail
omfgitsbug 0
lmao. that's awesome.
hawtstuff92 0
aww, congrats :) menstrual blood does smell like shrimp.. but I guess her status is pretty sexual, so that's why so many people like it I guess. or you're just a ***** who sleeps around(like me)
omfgitsbug 0
you fail.
hawtstuff92 0
???
OwenMcAwesome 0
You're ugly and fat and stupid. and ugly. like realllly ugly.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Uhm, who are you lashing out at? If it's to me, I wasn't directing my comment to you. You should take notes and try to make it a little more obvious who you're addressing (IE put the number!).
aardvarkish 17
98 is correct on all counts, including comment 91. Honestly, I think hawtstuff92 is a dirty old man using a pic from some lingerie or modeling site.
Brendita 0
Hey
aardvarkish 17
This site obviously has a data mapping issue. The 91 there now isn't the one I agreed with, earlier. But it will likely change back eventually, anyway.
aardvarkish 17
Looks like the 91 i agreed with is back.
5t3ff1k4h 47
150 - Okay, so I was a little over tired and mistyped something. Please, shit on me some more. I'm only human. If you follow my posts, you'd realize that I have better grammar and sentence structure than you. Any particular reason you're having a conniption fit? I also don't see how my accidental mis-wording of a sentence means I need to grow up. You need to get your facts straight, ma'am. Ayame - I don't know if it's just me, but I still don't understand your comment. And I have no idea who Owen McAwesome is.
jcrev 0
99% positive that you're a dude. no real girl would make an account like that v
5t3ff1k4h 47
No worries, Ayame.
aardvarkish 17
181, You're comments are always good reading. I can't emulate you, because that just wouldn't be me... literally, I guess...
hedgerow 0
that's nasty why would you like that?
Juneyah1017 9
Congradulations!
Juneyah1017 9
Congratulations* iPods are a mess
allen2020 0
agreed
Molord1 0
an iPod wouldn't do that...
kg11235 0
ninth
hawtstuff92 0
you're really hot. message me
IWABO2_ 0
Maybe she just has weird friends?