Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mum thought it was perfectly acceptable to post a status on Facebook about how well she is healing up after her hemorrhoid surgery, and tag me in it. FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status as, "Lost all my contacts, need numbers". My mom commented, "Her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends." Her comment got 32 likes. FML
Today, I logged on to Facebook and had 64 notifications. I thought that perhaps I was popular. But no, it was my ten year old sister, liking 64 of my pictures. FML
Today, my girlfriend "accidentally" set her relationship status to "single", and 20 of my friends "liked" it, including my mom. FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status to "It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood." My cousin, seeing the status, failed to pick up on the sarcastic humor. She called all my family members and tell them that I was pregnant. Including my husband in Iraq. FML
Today, my mother posted a video of me giving birth, on Facebook. FML
Today, I was getting ready to go to a surprise party I'd planned for my best friend. All was going well on the discretion part until I logged onto Facebook. I saw that my sister had set her status to, "At Natalie's surprise party! BBL!" Natalie had liked it. FML
Today, my sister made her engagement official on Facebook. When I shared the post to spread the word, people didn't read her boyfriend's name, and I started getting questions on why my sister and I were getting married. FML
Today, my sister brought me coffee to my office. It was really nice so I made a status about it on Facebook. My boyfriend texted me soon after, freaking out because I never put anything on Facebook about him and how great he is. I'm basically dating a 14-year-old girl. FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML
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Top comments
hedgerow 0
that's nasty why would you like that?
FYLDeep 26
Detail what afterbirth smells like on your next status. Try to outdo her.
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Comments (150)
spartan_girl 0
I think it's weird that your sister got so many "likes" on her status, but maybe it's some sort of running joke with some of them, and then others just joined in on the liking. Or maybe she just has weird friends! As for no one liking your status, maybe your friends haven't been on facebook as much (especially if most of your friends are adults who are too busy to be on facebook constantly). Or, if you're one of those new moms who has had 10 status updates a day about your pregnancy, going into labor, and then the first hours/days of your baby's life, maybe your friends are just sick of seeing it! But really, enjoy your time with your new baby, she'll grow up fast! And don't worry so much about what people do/say on facebook...
EvilDoll 7
because everyone should obviously tan and get skin cancer/ sunburn
adorkable_spazz 0
first off, congrats. secondly, i'm sorry that no one liked your status. maybe no one was online at the time or something, and when they got online, they probably didn't see your status. now, go feed your baby. [:
Gummybears4life 0
So what?
TheZarola 10
How is this an FML? You're getting upset over something pointless on Facebook?
XbambiX 3
OP stop whining,get ur lazy ass of the Internet,
bassdredd 2
that's pretty nasty why would that be your status? the shrimp I mean.... like wtf guys don't find that hot that's gross... lmao
vanillatwilight6 0
wow ur sis is rly wierd but OP if i was ur friend on fb id love ur status and ask 4 pics of the baby
HamsteronA 0
called sun-block. Worthy investment.
Shinygirlnz 1
So you're old enough to have a baby but not mature enough to quit competing with your sister over facebook likes? Grow up. Get off facebook and fmylife and go check on your baby.