Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mum thought it was perfectly acceptable to post a status on Facebook about how well she is healing up after her hemorrhoid surgery, and tag me in it. FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status as, "Lost all my contacts, need numbers". My mom commented, "Her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends." Her comment got 32 likes. FML
Today, I logged on to Facebook and had 64 notifications. I thought that perhaps I was popular. But no, it was my ten year old sister, liking 64 of my pictures. FML
Today, my girlfriend "accidentally" set her relationship status to "single", and 20 of my friends "liked" it, including my mom. FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status to "It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood." My cousin, seeing the status, failed to pick up on the sarcastic humor. She called all my family members and tell them that I was pregnant. Including my husband in Iraq. FML
Today, my mother posted a video of me giving birth, on Facebook. FML
Today, I was getting ready to go to a surprise party I'd planned for my best friend. All was going well on the discretion part until I logged onto Facebook. I saw that my sister had set her status to, "At Natalie's surprise party! BBL!" Natalie had liked it. FML
Today, my sister made her engagement official on Facebook. When I shared the post to spread the word, people didn't read her boyfriend's name, and I started getting questions on why my sister and I were getting married. FML
Today, my sister brought me coffee to my office. It was really nice so I made a status about it on Facebook. My boyfriend texted me soon after, freaking out because I never put anything on Facebook about him and how great he is. I'm basically dating a 14-year-old girl. FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML
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Top comments
hedgerow 0
that's nasty why would you like that?
FYLDeep 26
Detail what afterbirth smells like on your next status. Try to outdo her.
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Comments (150)
maryamd 3
I would like your sisters status more lol
MrKrumps 5
ha
sarahkhan93 4
how is this about love :)
ARoad 1
she's not obsessed with getting facebook "likes". she just thinks that it's f*cked up that people care more about the menstrual blood then the fact that after nine months and labor, she is finally comming home with her baby.
incredibadder 0
oh yeah! The world is over and ur pathetic life is meaningless just because people didnt "like" your FACEBOOK status. I think it's best time for you to go outside
pster03 0
Who cares!! It's just facebook. if you care that much about facebook than you should get a life
Nick_1993 2
who cares? its facebook. not your life
ilove_2_poop 0
YDI for being a self centered bitch who cares more about people liking your facebook status then your baby. Maybe that's why no one liked your status dumb ****.
UpYoursLiar 1
Awwww, someone only has 2 friends on Facebook. And they're both probably just fan pages.
GeorgeForPm 5
it's because people only care about pointless shite.
at0micmin3r 23
YDI for letting a WEBSITE, which is NOT REAL LIFE, but THE INTERNET.... govern your emotions. Heaven FORBID that someone liked someone else's status on FACEBOOK. How WILL you cope? Is your baby healthy? Are you healthy? GET OVER IT.