Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said, "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML
Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to eat out at a restaurant. We chatted for an hour, and it all seemed to be going well, until she told me that she wanted to break up. Waiting for the bill and driving her home was the most painful time of my life. FML
Today, I went on a date to the movies with this guy I kinda like. When he was driving me home, he asked me to be his girlfriend; I said I couldn’t because it was really bad timing. He kicked me out of the car, called me an asshole, and made me walk home. FML
Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML
Today, I went a girl's home for our second date. As she opened the door, she was leaving with another guy. I said, "I thought we had a date this evening?" Her response was, “Tah tah!” as she walked out the door while hanging on to his arm. FML
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, I was cuddling with the girl I've been seeing for the past few months. She was saying how much she liked me and how much I meant to her. Reciprocating those feelings, I asked her to be my girlfriend. It was a HARD no for her. Then she drove me an hour and a half home. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Wrap yourself in Christmas paper and sit outside her porch. It's a flawless plan. Bonus points if you are wearing a Santa Claus suit.
haileyrows 26
She probably thought you meant "what are you waiting for to get out of my car" not "what are you waiting for to kiss me"
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Comments (84)
Ms_ValS 27
That's a jackass thing to say, jackass
ARealCarrot 11
bad luck man. maybe try chatting to her and explain what you really meant
Wakachulak 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Not bad luck, bad execution. He's the *checks gender* man, he should be doing the kissing. That's basic dating etiquette.
skyrim_fanatic 17
@#56: get your sexist ass out of here boy.
Rainbow2Cloud 12
He should have just kissed her instead.
mushroomcassette 21
@65, The checking gender wasn't related to the advice being given, and they were making sure they addressed OP as the right gender.
BlockOfRedStone 25
I think he noticed that the "checks gender*" wasn't related to the advice given. Without it, it says "He's the man, he should be doing the kissing. That's basic dating etiquette." It's actually basic sexist etiquette. I think he should have made the move himself - not because he's the man, but because his date was too nervous to make one first. Then again if they were BOTH too nervous to make a move, then it's a different story.
trickster91420 21
I bet you won't won't complain if i pay for your meal because i am a man. Get that feminist crap out of here.
haileyrows 26
She probably thought you meant "what are you waiting for to get out of my car" not "what are you waiting for to kiss me"
alissa412 33
...duh
wakemeupplease 21
You don't say!
jerryj 27
I thought the last sentence of the FML made that pretty obvious.
connorgrant98 24
How did this comment get so many up votes?
cccook1547 14
I was wondering the same thing
SystemofaBlink41 27
Not only that, it's one of the most upvoted comments I've seen in a while!
albertozeta_fml 9
...you, idiot.
realg0d 8
really? I thought she was that repulsed by the idea of kissing him
MDoremis 38
She deserves some flowers after that.
kutemotoka 15
~I should have bought you flowers and hold your hand. Give you all my hours, when I had the chance~
ACTIONbl00dROCK 18
No, she deserves an explanation. This isn't the sexist 50's.
ExtremeEncounter 32
How is that sexist #69? Do you need some education?
saxophonegirl97 7
Yeah, #69, how is that sexist? If you hurt someone's feelings unintentionally, it's nice to do something sweet for them to make it up. Flowers is just an idea, but it isn't sexist to say "Hey you hurt her feelings, maybe you should do something nice to make her feel better."
j_cat187 20
#71 If I piss off my boss, would buying him flowers fix it?
jks0308 22
no but apologizing might
SecretAgent_700 15
#81 That might help if you are dating your boss!
cccook1547 14
You're not dating your boss are you?
ohSNAPyall 27
Flowers are not sexist. Women can buy them for men too. I think the idea is that it's nice to put forth some effort beyond just kicking yourself and apologizing.
k8Pluss 8
I've bought my husband flowers when we were dating, and plenty of other times. And he was so smitten after because he never got flowers ? you're right totally not a sexist thing. People make everything negative.
Welshite 40
Wrap yourself in Christmas paper and sit outside her porch. It's a flawless plan. Bonus points if you are wearing a Santa Claus suit.
phaelnb 26
That's about the only way he can get out of this situation with her
Exaspera 55
With mistletoe
Grenith 21
Oh my god that'd be perfect.
more4me 27
Yes!!!! Do it!!!
buttcramp 21
#5, you are brilliant and if you have a partner he or she is very lucky to have someone so creative with romance. so badass.
LittleBastard 20
Welshite's only partner is Aenigmatite.
snazzymcwho 21
Wow. Real smooth OP.
Cads1 24
Could have been worse. You might have said "it's not going to suck itself" or worse.
Miss_Whipped 43
And then all the 'you deserved it's all the way to the moon.
Welshite 40
The last time I told a girl that, I got slapped. And then her brother hunted me down. I was just giving her friendly advice on her cherry lollipop.
Cads1 24
Hahaha, I am only pointing out there are more foolish things to say in awkward situations.
RandomViewer 3
Should've just went in dry now you'll wake up single instead of waking up to a Christmas morning :D
Aimeejasmine 15
What the hell is wrong with you
doctorhook86 25
#8: Rape is never the answer, son, unless the question is, "What is not the answer?"
cccook1547 14
How the hell did you get rape out of that?
doctorhook86 25
#94: Does "I'm goin' in dry!" mean something other than unlubricated (and therefore almost certainly non-consensual) anal sex? No? That's what I though. LPT: Don't stick your dick in anyone or any hole that hasn't requested it.
Desi_D123 27
I'm guessing you won't be hearing from her for a while. Dare I say, until Christmas?
whywhenwherewhat 11
You sure you want to be with a girl who starts crying because of some dumb joke anyway?
Mauskau 36
It's a first date, he drove her back to her house, they sat in silence and what he said could've been taken as "hurry up and get the hell out of my car.". I think most people would be hurt over that.
doctorhook86 25
#10: It was a pretty shitty joke.